losses: personal - house, cats, artists I admired.
I went today to a SPCA/animal shelter to meet a prospective furrever
friend, he wasn't interested. The write-up on the shelter website
overstated his playfulness and vocal nature, and understated his shyness
and diffidence. The drive took a long time so we arrived during global
'cat siesta' time, he didn't respond to standard non-threatening
friendship physical communication, there was a children's birthday party
in a nearby room, he needed a quiet room with visitors consulting staff
beforehand. We tried for seven minutes at a safe distance, tossing
treats and toys.
I've owned cats for 34 years, I have what a senior cat wants: a warm,
quiet place with no small kids, no dogs, no other cats, no other
threatening animals or loud heavy rumbly nearby, heaps of experience.
I've cared for cats with renal failure and cancer, half the cats I've
owned lived past 19 years but cats are choosy. My beloved cat had been
gone for nine months and I'd thought I'd be at the point where I could
adopt a senior cat and we'd be grateful companions to each other, but I
felt dejected after leaving the animal shelter, even after spending time with
a pair of six-week-old kittens, and being spurned was a nasty slash, the
grief tumbled through the tear ducts.
I just want to stop crying, my raw sinuses and burning eyes to be restored to
their clear, dry normalcy, and to sleep the whole night.
Most of all I don't want to lose more of my friends and beloved
artists to illness this year.
