Beyond Your Limits

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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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Beyond Your Limits
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Everyone has their limits. I'm not talking about your stress limit - that
point where your patience gives in and you lose control of your temper. I'm
talking about moral limits...that line that you draw and tell yourself that
you'll never cross beyond.

There's a reason why you don't want to cross beyond that line. What you
might find there...more specifically, what you might find in yourself
there...can scare the shit out of you. I crossed that line recently and it
wasn't a pleasant experience.

Ok...this text is going to be difficult to write, so bear with me. I have
to refrain from giving too much detail so as to spare the other person in
this story extreme embarrasment. I suppose I could get around that by
submitting this anonymously, but that's not something I'm really
comfortable with. I have nothing against anyone else who has chosen to go
this way, but for me, it's not something I do. I don't know why, it's
probably just my ego wanting credit.

Anyway, I hope this file will be able to serve its purpose and not waste
space on your hard drive.

Alright, let's backtrack a bit so I can get this story started. Awhile
back, I fell in love with a girl who already had a boyfriend. She had been
with this guy for almost a year, so I didn't think I had much chance. But I
gave it a try and she fell for me, or so she said. We had a pretty heavy
affair, which her boyfriend never learned of. It lasted about 3 months.

During this time, she kept promising me that she would leave her boyfriend.
She actually did break up with him two or three times, but never for longer
than a couple of hours.

Well, anyone with half a brain could see that she was playing me, but
apparently love had numbed 3/4ths of my brain. I ignored the obvious signs
and tried to blame it on her age. (I'm not mentioning any ages, but she was
far below legal.)

I gave up a lot for this girl. I lost one of my best friends because I
defended her against him. I began to exclude all my other friends. I spent
all my money on her and I almost lost my life after a fight with her when I
OD'd.

And then it happened. She got tired of me and dropped me like a bad habit.
That was that. I'd given up everything and had nothing left. What really
pissed me off was that she didn't think she'd done anything wrong. In fact,
she couldn't understand why I was mad at her.

For almost two months, I sat around in a stunned daze, unable to even think
clearly. My spirit had been so crushed by her that I barely had enough will
left to breathe.

Slowly but surely I began to slip back into the mode my life was in before
I got mixed up with her. I started contacting my old friends and generally
living. And I finally came to realize how badly I'd been fucked over. I
finally came out of my haze and made the decision to make her suffer as
much as I did.

Ok, this is where I have to stop with the details. It would help the story
immensely if I included them, but I explained before why I can't. If it
sucks as a result, I apologize. Alright, back to the story.

Like I said, I wanted her to suffer. First of all, I found some items from
when we were together and used them to blackmail her. Originally, I was
just torturing her, playing little mind games with her, but that soon grew
tiresome, so I decided to push the game to a new level.

One night, while we were talking, I decided to see how important it was to
her that the blackmail not get out. I kept pushing her until I got her to
do some things that we used to do when we were together. Needless to say,
she didn't want to do them anymore, but I left her no choice. (Let me take
a quick moment to state that though it sounds like it, what I'm describing
is not rape.)

I kept forcing her to do the things while asking her if she remembered how
she used to like them. I got her thinking about all the good times we used
to have...and then I dropped the bomb.

"Imagine that you had all those great things." I told her. "Imagine that
everything was so perfect in your life. Now imagine that suddenly it was
all gone. Imagine that for no reason someone took it all away. You know how
you feel right now? That's how you made me feel." She was upset before, but
when I said that, she burst into tears, bawling loudly. When, through her
tears, she apologized, I was finally able to believe her for the first time.

I was satisfied that I had finally gotten through to her, but I'm not so
sure it was worth all the pain. As I lay there listening to her cry for
over 30 minutes, I began to shake as I realized exactly what I'd just put
her through. Believe me, it was not a pleasurable experience for either of
us and I hope I never ever go through something like that ever again. The
story has a happy ending. We're friends now, but I'm not sure if either of
us will ever be the same.

-InVerse [email protected]

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