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                    "Talk Back to Your TV", Part 1
                    ------------------------------

These are letters taken from the "Talk Back to Your TV" column from the
TV Dial (distributed with the Sunday Rocky Mountain News). I've never
seen a bigger group of whiny idiots anywhere else, but what can you expect
from couch potatoes? Judge for yourself:

***
"Networks bomb on history test"

    Editor: I don't know if I will ever watch ABC, NBC, or CBS national news
again. At every turn, we see the world news trying to remake U.S. history and
it's getting to be nauseating. War is tragic, but reporting was severly
one-sided on the atomic bombing of Japan -- diminishing the supreme
sacrifice of American lives in World War II! It seems there was a lapse of
memory. Japan *started* the war with the U.S. by bombing Pearl Harbor!
    The atomic bomb *ended* the war, but it didn't happen soon enough to
bring my brother home. If Japan had the atomic bomb first, just what kind
of mercy would they have shown the USA?
                                       Lorretta M. Carder [warez!@$#]
                                       Denver
[trading thousands of civilian lives for the bombing of one military base
was certainly worth it, wasn't it, Lorretta?]

***
"Believe it! 'Christy' is history" [I'm beginning to see a trend here]

    Editor: I can't believe it; how rude! _Christy_ is canceled? That is
absolutely the best show I have ever seen! There just aren't those kind of
television shows out there anymore. In a world of _NYPD Blue_, _Roseanne_,
and all that other trash, can't we have *something* good?
                                       A. Johnson
                                       Loveland
[Take a Valium, dude. Since I've never heard of _Christy_ before, I can
only assume it wasn't exactly popular.]

***
"Good news for fans of 'Sliders'"

    Editor: I just love the show _Sliders_. Please tell me if it will be
back on this fall.
    Also, I have to agree with Ken Bates of Denver. There is no doubt that
_The Riki Lake Show_ is the worst talk show on TV [no, that would be
_Carnie_. Ugh.]. She is too sarcastic toward her panel members and she does
have the personality of a rock. Personally, I think [who gives a shit what
you think, J. Novak of Denver? Next!]

***
"Mad about 'Earth 2'? Write NBC"

    Editor: For the first time in years, I found a TV show worth watching.
In fact, I scheduled my Sundays around it [and you admit it? Get a life,
pal]. I am referring to NBC's _Earth 2_. I am but one of many who are angry
at NBC's decision to cancel it. Would you please print information where
[sic] I should write to express my anger? [you should post on alt.whine for
the best results] One letter probably won't make much difference but then,
who knows? They might get more than one letter.
                                       Jeff Bailey
                                       Denver
[They might get two.]

***
"Shame on '7' [sic -- why the fuck is this in quotes?] for dropping show"

    Editor: I am writing to express my anger toward KMGH-Channel 7 for
replacing _The Price is Right_ with _American Journal_. Who needs more sex,
cheating and lying with another soap opera and more celebrity gossip? [I
do] You can find that on all the other channels? [sic]
    _The Price is Right_ was the last daytime game show on television. The
show showed people having a good time. [You don't think people having sex
are "having a good time"?] [...]
                                       M.K. Griego
                                       Arvada

***
"'Trek' move means adios to Channel 2"

    Editor: Yes, it's another letter from a _Star Trek_ fan. While I
really enjoy Channel 2-KWGN's coverage of the Rockies games, I am really
[really?] disappointed with the moving [sic] of _Star Trek: The Next
Generation_ 10:30 [sic] to make room for _Roseanne_. Besides the fact that
Roseanne is boring, rude, and unfunny, it was very pleasant to see _ST:TNG_
after watching the 9 p.m. [sic] news program. Now, I will no longer be
watching the 9 p.m. [sic] news, _Roseanne_, or _ST:TNG_, as well as most
shows on KWGN. My TV will be set to Channel 4.
                                       Tom Francois
                                       Littleton
[avoid the grapes . . . they're a bit sour.]

***
"Sportscasters strike out"

    Editor: Is it just me, [probably] or are there others out there who
are fed up with television sportscasters babbling about everything except
what's going on right under their noses on the field?
    I am referring [blah, blah, blah -- if you really want to read all
five paragraphs of this moron's whining then send me mail and I'll scan it
for you] [...] Not once during Grace's at-bat was any mention made of what
was happening on the field. [...]
                                       Tom Rochford
                                       Aurora
[say, if you can see what's happening on the field then why do you need
sportscasters to tell you about it? You long-winded fuckwit.]

***
"Bad TV brings back reading and radio"

    Editor: I thought this would be the best way to "thank" all the TV
stations at once. With nothing to watch but talk shows and soaps all day, I
am so sick of TV that mine is turned off most of the day [sic -- I think
you forgot a sentence or two in there, lady]. I used to watch the talk
shows (because there was nothing else on) [my favorite excuse from
couch-potatoes who can't do something constructive with their time] but
even those are getting old. It's like watching the same thing over and over
again but with different people [BINGO! How long did it take you to figure
that out?]. [...]
                                       S. Lawrence
                                       Denver

***
"Why did 2 give Limbaugh bum's rush?"

    Editor: [...] Such decisions turn off viewers and viewers can likewise
tune out [hint: use "turn off" again to drive home your point and be a more
effective writer] Channel 2 with a mere flip of the dial.
                                       Lorretta M. Carder [warez!#@$]
                                       Denver
[Hey, it's our good buddy Ms. Carder! Get a life, lady.]

***
"Recent cancellations ring of censorship"

    Editor: Welcome to Russia, folks! A couple shows with conservative
viewpoints were silenced in our viewing area [good fucking riddance]. The
first was the _CBS Reports_ documentary, _Faith & Politics: The Christian
Right_, which KMGH-Channel 7 chose to preempt. We and many others
[actually, just you and Ms. Carder] feel the country has lost its moral
compass and that is what the show was about.
    Only two days later, we read that KWGN-Channel 2 dropped Rush
Limbaugh's weeknight show. Aren't we lucky, we get to see Geraldo Rivera's
noon talk show rerun in that time slot? We and many others stayed up to
watch Rush, or recorded it daily [fucking sheep].
    Watch out folks, election time nears and the liberal media has to
silence conservative viewpoints. This is beginning to sound like censorship
with a capital "C."
                                       Jack and Millie Hazlip
                                       Sterling
[no, this is beginning to sound like capitalism with a capital "get a clue,
stupid." If you don't like it, move to Russia . . . oh, that's your line,
isn't it?]

***
"What media is 'liberal,' conservative?' [sic]"

    Editor: The old saying, "Go to the mouth of the horse," hence my
letter to you as a member of the media [SIC -- don't drink and write]. I am
really fed up with the media being referred to as "liberal" if an article
differs with [sic] the opinion of politicians and talk conservatives. Would
you kindly tell me which newspapers -- _New York Times_, _Rocky Mountain
News_, etc., especially _Time_ magazine -- are actually liberal or
conservative? [...]
                                  Agnes Coleman [say "hi" to Garry]
                                  Longmont
***
"Fed [hide your warez!] up with the new TV season"

    Editor: This new TV season is 110% disgusting [so for every 10 shows
that disgust you, you're disgusted by an extra one that doesn't even air?
K3wl]. [...]
                                       S. Redd
                                       Aurora

***
"Money, not quality, drives TV"

    Editor: I'm sick of all the people complaining about TV networks
canceling "good shows" and putting on so-called "trash." If a show doesn't
sell, it goes. Simple as that. When only a few people watch a program, the
networks aren't making money [sic]. TV shows are costly to produce and if a
company doesn't want to pay to advertise during a times lot [sic], they
won't. TV networks then lose money, which they can't afford to do. Networks
are just trying to make a larger profit when the [sic] replace shows.
                                       Corynn Cox
                                       Denver
[aside from the numerous errors -- heck, even *with* them -- this is the
most intelligent letter I've ever seen in "Talk Back to Your TV."]

***
"Replace talk TV with classics"

    Editor: I was wondering if anyone else feels the way I do ["Does
anybody here remember Vera Lynn? / Remember how she said that / We would
meet again / Some sunny day?" But I digress...]. [...] Put something on
that is good and entertaining and take off all these talk shows!
                                       Ruth DeJong
                                       Denver

[Check the letter above yours. *Somebody* must be watching talk shows.
Probably the lazy sheep who complain that "there's nothing else on" and
watch the talk shows because they need their TV fix.]
***


-Legion


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