date: Sat 28 Jun 2025 12:57:32 AM PDT
subj: escape responsibility fiction books vs video games
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these are getting worse
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video games: -3
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+entertaining
-sedentary
-time suck/waste
-non-productive
-stimulating
fiction books: -1
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+entertaining
-sedentary
-time suck/waste
-non-productive
-energy consumption
+increase literacy
+minor intellect increase
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Is the answer interactive fiction?
Is the answer cycling?
Is the answer Zen?
Is the answer just don't escape?
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Sometimes I really want to escape responsibilities. I wish I had
more fun. I used to have fun, but my life seems so serious these
days, full of responsibilities, and difficult tasks. I escape
from time to time on my bicycle. My main method of fitness is
cycling. Sometimes its an escape, sometimes is just work and not
fun at all. It all depends on how often I cycle, and how long I
cycle. If I'm on the trainer its just pain. If my mind is stuck
on something bothering me, my cycling doesn't dissolve it. In
the past I used to escape and play video games. Doom, Doom II,
Doom 3, Quake, Quake II, other games like DCSS, Hacknet, lots
of games. I used to really enjoy gaming and then I decided to
create goals in life, and actually reach those goals. Or maybe
during my court years when I was always writing for legal
issues, or maybe a mix of both of those times in my life. In
either case I stopped playing games. Sometimes I still play Doom
or Doom II on my phone, but its not that often.
Because legal stuff requires so much reading, during that time I
didn't do a lot of reading books outside of legal subjects, so
video games were my choice of escape, or hiking, both of which I
did very little. After all that bullshit in my life left, I got
back into playing video games, and hiking. For me there is only
so much hiking a person can do all by themselves. Walking in the
woods for hours with a backpack on and sleeping on the ground in
the scary woods is romantic but for me I have my limits. I had a
great time hiking, and I had a great time playing video games.
Books were a choice of escape from time to time but books also
feel like work sometimes, and less of an adventure compared to
video games. Books have the brain energy load that can be felt
and when low on energy from the work day, I would fall asleep
while reading and lose my focus and have to re-read paragraphs
over and over again. At one time it took me about a year to read
Legends. So I decided when I had energy I read books that were
geared towards learning like Bjarne Stroustrup's C++ or
something that had some perceived value. I even miss that. After
about 1 hour straight of reading Bjarne I would finally
understand what he was doing, instead of just reading I felt I
was immersed in the book. Books like Neuromancer, Snow Crash, I
could get that too, but after reading those a few times, it
doesn't always work.
Over the years I've found all the time I spent in my life
working at my career taking courses, getting certificates
(letting them expire), getting degrees, I've only moved the
needle slightly. I feel I've lost more compared to what I gained,
in terms of time, money, and life, at the sacrifice of
relationships, fun, and enjoying life. Its hard to say if that
is really true though.
Now I think about video games, and if I should play them. Many
games often feel like work due to their goal/achievement
mechanics that require grinding. This aspect is a real turnoff
for someone who grinds a lot in real life. Games like Doom
present the grind is a far more subtle way. The goal is part of
the adventure and what you achieve is seeing the next level, not
leveling up your character. Are most games grindy and I just
didn't know it? Playing video games is an escape for sure and
I'll never get the time back while playing in virtual space. It
sometimes seems absurd to do things in virtual worlds instead
of the real world. Nobody wants to battle monsters in real life,
so I get some experiences I hope to never face in reality. Wolf
3d, Doom_s, Ultima Underworld, Wing Commander, Eye Of The
Beholder, Duke Nuke Em, were wonderful adventures when they came
out. The stage I'm at in life, games are a sin, and I wish they
weren't.
Fiction books are a great escape, and are also an adventure if
when I read them I can focus and get lost/immersed in the book.
I can't show anything for reading a fiction book. Sometimes
reading is a joy, but also work. At times books have a grind
aspect while reading when dealing with a lot of fluff. Reading
is work which triggers a perception of value in the content, and
if the immersion can't be obtained finishing is less likely.
When I don't finish a book its like giving up. Seems the escape
while reading is less casual. The stage I'm at in life fiction
books are close to a sin, and I wish they weren't. I can read to
my children (if my eyes were better) and given their mind a
place to imagine about.
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maybe I'll expand on this document sometime.
