!Mothers day
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agk's diary
13 May 2023 @ 13:47 UTC
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written on GPD Win 1
while birds chatter and sing in the woods
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The last month was mostly tough, with a few really
good days. I loved digging garden beds. First dau-
ghter helped me pick out rocks. I loved watching
first daughter meet a real live turkey for the 1st
time & gobble at it. I loved biking to church with
first daughter and Matthew, then home through the
rain laughing. I loved watching first daughter play
at the Erlanger KY old train station playground.
Hanging over good times: missing Evy, my spouse.
She was sick. I nursed her & let her rest. Then she
worked 12-hour nights, I worked 12 to 15-hour days,
we went out but she was eat up with anxiety. I let
her rest. She had strep throat. I made her chicken
soup, let her rest. She went to Philly, came home
tired. I let her rest, then worked. Today she's got
her mojo back. She's out spending it with her mom &
sister, "giving" me a lonely mother's day "to
myself."
I just want her, though. All to myself for a little
relaxed span of time, heart open and happy, birds
singing like they are right now, undistracted by
anxiety, illness, fatigue, or 1st daughter, simply
glad to be with me.
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Update 2023-05-16: Sometimes wanting opens you up,
makes you willing. The next day we biked to church
& home. First daughter napped, Evy sat with me &
wrote. I scoured rust from the 60-year-old yellow
Schwinn Varsity bike frame with a brass brush.
Exactly what I wanted for mother's day, quiet &
intimate. Evy read beautiful prose about people she
met on the greyhound bus. When daughter woke we
walked, laughed, planted cucumbers. After bedtime
Evy loved me in the kitchen, panting & slick with
lard and spit.
I'll write about other things. My marriage's good.
