!The sad side
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agk's diary
7 May 2023 @ 02:26 UTC
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written on GPD Win 1
before sleep
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I had a ticket to see Darrin Hacquard play in my
little town tonight with my mom-friend Emma (her
daughter's first daughter's age-mate and friend).
I was so excited! I've only been out in the evening
without first daughter two or three times in the ~2
years since she was born. I met Darrin at a camp-
fire and he played my wedding. I haven't seen him
since then, and couldn't wait to see him again.
Bad communication led to no childcare. Called
around to the people who love first daughter. No
one wanted to change their plans. Daughter knew I
felt sad, resented her some and my friends more, so
refused to sleep & tantrumed for 2 hours. Cancelled
with Emma then thought I could at least come late
when roommate got home, so she went and pointlessly
waited on me.
This is the sad side of being first daughter's mom.
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UPDATE 12:15 UTC: I was up til 4am local time too
grouchy to sleep. When first daughter woke at 7 I
didn't resent friends anymore. Just myself for not
nailing things down better.
Resentment's tempered with gratitude now though. If
Evy was here she'd have helped. Friends aren't used
to me asking and I'm not used to asking partly be-
cause Evy's so good.
Still sad I missed Darrin, but getting 1st daughter
ready to tow to church in the bike cart ("Oh no!
Bus! Momma! I do! It's neigh! Up!"), I'm no longer
lost in the sauce.
