!Five Answers: April
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agk's phlog
1 Apr 2021 @ 2150
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written on X61
while roommate plays
The Binding of Isaac
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I like Christina's questions.[^1] In an attempt at
interactivity, I answer.
> 1. Can you miss what you never had?
I doubt it. You can sure crave more of what you've
only tasted.
> 2. Have you reinvented yourself after the end of
a long personal (cohabiting) relationship?
Describe the steps of reinvention.
Only if relationships that lasted less than ten
years count as long.
When Esther and I moved back South, I didn't know
anybody. I couldn't find work. We rented an un-
insulated outbuilding with no power, plumbing, or
dignified alternative. Hauling water and charging
stuff was demeaning there. It was behind a small
house where the people lived who sublet to us.
They expected rent and what felt like servant
labor at random times. Esther was at school all
day with my car unless I drove a long way to drop
her off and pick her up. We had no nearby family.
Our savings ran out.
I left temporarily, then permanently. I slept on
the floor of friends who lived in a one-room cabin
with their toddler on (what turned out to be the
final days of) a lesbian separatist land project.
I decided there to leave Esther, then moved to my
mom's old bedroom in my grandparents' house.
I got work, took a class that yielded a useful
healthcare certification, became involved in my
grandparents' church, helped the family accept
grandma's dementia, and initiated their move. I
helped manage routine and emergency medical care.
When their next steps were clear and I was
accepted at college as an older student, I moved
again.
I followed similar steps when I left Katya 7 years
earlier: struggle, go to friends, fall apart, find
a way to help that felt like it mattered,
apologize to {Esther, Katya} and forgive her, keep
moving, unsure toward what. Both times I
eventually noticed I'd been reinvented somewhere
along the way. I also learned more about love both
times.
> 3. What do you most look forward to doing when
restrictions end?
Continuing to raise my daughter, collective super-
vision of a gang of children with other parents,
visiting friends in other states, playing pool,
being more sexually promiscuous, and live music.
> 4. What's the best surprise you received in
March 2021?
The Peacemakers Motorcycle Club opened a clubhouse
in a formerly abandoned appliance repair shop a
block from my house. I've known some very good men
who were Peacemakers, and they'll keep the Hells
Angels and Iron Horses out.
> 5. How many interests (i.e. passions,
activities, hobbies, pursuits) at minimum
should a person have to be interesting? What
percentage of shared interests renders a
person appealing or intriguing to you?
One's all it takes. Percentage doesn't matter.
What matters is if we share a good one or if their
enthusiasm is infectious.
