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"Ought I not to have been more careful to win the good opinion of others, |
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more determined to conquer their hostility or indifference? It would have be |
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a joy to me to be smiled upon, loved, encouraged, welcomed, and to obtain wh |
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I was so ready to give, kindness and goodwill. But to hunt down consideratio |
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and reputation — to force the esteem of others — seemed to me an effort |
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unworthy of myself, almost a degradation. A struggle with unfavorable opinio |
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has seemed to me beneath me, for all the while my heart has been full of |
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sadness and disappointment, and I have known and felt that I have been |
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systematically and deliberately isolated. Untimely despair and the deepest |
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discouragement have been my constant portion. Incapable of taking any intere |
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in my talents for their own sake, I let everything slip as soon as the hope |
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being loved for them and by them had forsaken me. A hermit against my will, |
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have not even found peace in solitude, because my inmost conscience has not |
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been any better satisfied than my heart." |
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-- Henri-Frédéric Amiel |
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These are my personal reflections upon the Journal of Henri-Frédéric Amiel. |
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[02-06-2019] On Ambition |
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[02-05-2019] On Aging |
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[02-04-2019] On History |
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[02-03-2019] On Conceptions |
