As a general rule, I hate advertisements. Maybe it comes with growing
up around the Internet when the ads were either easily-avoided banners
at the top of a page or because ad creators/directors can't make
anything worthwhile anymore. Maybe it's because all movie trailers
spoil everything in 30 seconds to 2 minutes.
Whatever the case, I don't like seeing ads. It's almost a visceral
reaction. If it's the rare TV show I'm watching on TV (weird sentence
a few decades ago), I will mute the ads until the show gets back on.
It's a far cry from when cable was the overwhelming norm for TV
viewing.
But there was a recent scandal on Utuub: this company that promised
"the best deals" on any e-commerce site, basically an automatic
coupon-cutter. The idea, though a bit ridiculous, isn't inherently
evil. No. It's what the extension actually does that is "so wrong."
The extension changes any referral ID on a given e-commerce site to
their referral ID. "That's so wrong." No, what's wrong is you fucking
embedding ads in your videos like a fucking used car salesman... But I
digress. The idea that it's "stealing" money from Utuubers that do the
equivalent of those sign spinners on the street, but only for a whole
30 seconds, is both hilarious and pathetic.
You're not a salesman. Maybe 2 of the 10 million views on your fucking
video actually WANT to see you shill for a company that whored you
out. I want to see your content, not an ad for a shitty mobile game
that ends up costing anyone either too much time or WAY too much money
do to anything. So don't act like those commissions are automatic
money in your pocket. When I watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the
actor playing Michelangelo doesn't get a cut of every pizza sale made
when people are watching the movie forever. Shut the fuck up.
But anyway, yeah, they're basically crying that they were "swindled"
out of millions because of theoretical sales. The other part which is
just as hilarious is that the coupon extension also didn't get you the
best deal. If that bad company doesn't have a coupon for the item but
someone else does, guess what price you get? The normal one.
I, of course, never used it. From what I understand, it would spawn a
popunder to change the referrer ID, and would close it almost
immediately. Yeah, if that doesn't sound alarm bells, you're a fucking
moron.
To top it off, a lot of the Utuubers actually advertised the coupon
extension, so they were ripping themselves off. Karma's a bitch, isn't
it, shill? I guarantee most of the shills didn't even bother to spend
more than 30 seconds researching the companies they push on others.
Not that I support the coupon company, but they just played the game
way, way better than the stupid, unworthy rich assholes advertising
them.
The ONLY part I feel remotely dampens the hilarity is that some
Utuubers never partnered with this pervasive coupon company and were
still affected. The reason I say "remotely" is because fuck you for
shilling in your videos at all. If you're making videos for the right
reason and believe in your art, you aren't contemplating "sponsors."
It's because of these assholes that I have to use more extreme
measures like SponsorBlock just to get away from the commercial filth.
I doubt any of those sellouts will be reading this, but I hope you
spend as much time stressing about this scandal as the cumulative
amount of time that viewers wasted watching your fucking ads.
Relevant songs:
Meat Loaf - I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)
The Kooks - Naive
