Feelings in my body.
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And they say it is good to know how your feelings
show up physically in your own body. That you'll
get the physical part of a feeling first, and then
you can stop and note that, and process it. I
think they teach this even to little kids
nowadays. I see it in their books and I read with
fascination, for I never learned how to do that
myself. But I am learning now. It's like I'm
someone finally learning to read and write for the
first time in their middle age. Better late than
never, I guess.
It's hard to notice these things, when you've
never tried before. They say that doing some deep
breathing and focusing on that will help you feel
your body, as it somehow helps get your brain out
of the way. And that everybody's sensations are
different. These are mine:
Fear - In my windpipe, high in my chest or in the
back of my throat, a feeling like it is closing,
like I cannot breathe. Or sometimes, like a
pressure or weight on my rib cage, and it seems
hard to take a full breath. A shaky quavery
feeling through my chest might go with the
tightness through there.
Anger - In my mouth and jaw. Clenched teeth, lips
narrow and pressed together. In my nose, nostrils
flaring. My heart beats faster. Sometimes in my
hands, clenched. A tension in my face above my
cheekbones, right underneath my eyes.
Gladness - A loose and tingling feeling in my back
and shoulders, and the sides of my neck.
Sometimes a similar feeling in my lower legs.
Sadness - An ache in my heart, often on the lower
part of it, like something gripping it from
underneath. Or sometimes it feels like an
oval-shaped dome over top of it. A heaviness in
my face, in my cheeks lower down towards my mouth.
Some tension in the corner of my eyes. Also
sometimes there is something behind my face,
behind my eyes.
Shame/guilt - It's like a rough green spiked ball
that moves inside my chest, pushing intermittently
on the side of my heart just aside my sternum.
