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|__ __| | February 15, 2001
| | | |__ ___ Thursday
| | | '_ \ / _ \
.-. _ ______ | | | | | | __/ ____
( `. .' ) | ____| |_| |_| |_|\___| | _ \
`\ ` .' | |__ _ _ _ __ _ __ _ _ | |_) | ___ _ __ ___
| | | __| | | | '_ \| '_ \| | | | | _ < / _ \| '_ \ / _ \
| | | | | |_| | | | | | | | |_| | | |_) | (_) | | | | __/
| 66|_ |_| \__,_|_| |_|_| |_|\__, | |____/ \___/|_| |_|\___|
| ,__) __/ |
|(,_| |___/ ISSN: 1527-6163
| |
| \_, T H E S U N D A Y F U N N I E S
| |
| | F R I D A Y E D I T I O N
.' \
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and Dirty Fun, then you're missing a lot of the fun!
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Newlyweds

On their first night to be together, the newlywed couple go to
change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all showered and
wearing her beautiful robe. The proud husband says, "My dear, we
are married now, you can open your robe." The beautiful young woman
opens her robe, and he is astonished.

"Oh, oh, aaaahhh," he exclaims, "My God you are so beautiful, let
me take your picture."

Puzzled she asks, "MY picture?" ____
_[]_/____\__n_
He answers, "Yes, my dear, so I can carry |_____.--.__()_|
your beauty next to my heart forever." |LI //# \\ |
She smiles and he takes her picture and | \\__// |
then he heads into the bathroom to shower. | '--' |
jgs '--------------'
He comes out wearing his robe and the
new wife asks, "Why do you wear a robe? We are married now."

At that the man opens his robe and she exclaims, "OH, OH, OH MY,
let me get a picture."

He beams and asks, "Why?"

She answers, "SO I CAN GET IT ENLARGED!"

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Four Moms

Four Catholic ladies were having coffee. The first woman tells
her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room,
everyone calls him 'Father"."

.-. .-. .-. The second woman chirps,
(/^\) .-. (/^\) / \ "My son is a bishop.
(\ /) //^\\ )\ /( \/"\/ Whenever he walks into
.-'-. (_\ /_) (.-'-.) '\_/' a room, people call him
/(_,_)\ .-'-. /\_ _/\ .-' '-. 'Your Grace'."
\\) (// /\_ _/\ \\)_(// |\_ _/|
/ \ \\) (// /---\ \\)_(// The third one says,
| | / \ | | / \ somewhat haughtily,
|___| | | |_|_| | | | "Well, MY son is a
/|\ |___| | | | | | | Cardinal, and whenever
\|/ \|/ |_|_| |_|_| HE walks into a room,
jgs /Y\ /Y\ /Y\ /_T_\ he's greeted with
'Your Eminence."

The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence.

The first three women wait a bit, then give her this subtle
"Well...?"

She replies, "My son is 6' 7", has plenty of money, broad
shoulders, and is terribly handsome. He dresses very well,
has a tight, muscular body, tight hard buns, and a very nice um,
well a nice "bulge". And whenever he walks into a room, women
gasp, 'Ohh my God...!'."
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Weird Laws That Should Be Repealed

- It is illegal in Kentucky to marry the same man more than 3 times.

yeah, _ _ - In California it is illegal to set a mouse trap
right (,\_/,) without a hunting license.
\ | " | .-'
)\g/( ( .----------.-----------.
/( )\ ) / .=====;.. .-. //
|\) (/|/ / .=// ((() |.o'\""//
\ ' / / // ((()~~/_o_O("//
jgs (/---\) / '=====((() """""//
/___________'__________//
`----------'----------'`

- In Tennessee it is illegal to use Lassos to catch a fish.

- If a man is wearing a striped suit, you cannot throw a knife
at him in Natoma, Kansas.

- In 1659 Massachusetts made Christmas illegal.

.-"`'"-. - Unless you have a doctor's note, it's illegal
/ \ to buy ice cream after 6 PM in Newark,
| | New Jersey.
/'---'--`\
| | - It is a misdemeanor to show movies that
\_.--._.-._/ depict acts of felonious crime in Montana.
\=-=-=-/
\=-=-/ - Children can buy shotguns in Kansas City,
\=-/ Missouri... but not toy cap guns.
jgs \/
- In Minnesota, it's illegal to tease skunks.

- In Hartford, Connecticut, it is illegal to kiss your wife on
Sunday.
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Potty Humor

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? I hope
you remember my story when they start getting frustrated.
.-""""-.
My three year old son had a lot of ////||\\\\
problems with potty training; and |/ \|
I was on him constantly. One day ( @ @ )
we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick | C |
lunch in between errands. It was \ == /
very busy, with a full dining room. `|--|`
.--`\__/`--.
While enjoying my taco, I smelled / \
something funny, so of course I / , , \
checked my seven month old /`-./| |\.-'\
daughter and she was clean. Then / /` | | `\ \
I realized that Matt had not / /` | | `\ \
asked to go potty in a while, / / | | \ \
so I asked him, and he said (/ | | | | \)
"No." |_/ |______| \_|
| |
I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child |__|___|
has had an accident and I didn't have any | | |
clothes with me. Then I said, "Matt, | | |
are you sure you did not have an ( ( |
accident?" | | |
jgs |==|==|
"No," he replied. I just knew that he __| _|__|
must have had, cause the smell was ( ( )
getting worse. Soo.........I asked `^^^`^^^^
one more time, "Matt, did you have an accident?"

This time, with a little smirk on his face, he jumped up,
yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and
yelled....... "See MOM, IT'S JUST GAS!!"

While 100 people nearly choked to death on their tacos, he
calmly pulled up his pants and sat down to eat his food as if
nothing had happened.

I was mortified.........but some kind elderly people made me
feel a lot better, when they came over and thanked me for the
best laugh they had ever had!!!
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(_.===============================================._)

_ .-.
John Nunley - [email protected] ( `. .' )
`. ` /'
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