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|__ __| | January 11, 2001
| | | |__ ___ Thursday
| | | '_ \ / _ \
.-. _ ______ | | | | | | __/ ____
( `. .' ) | ____| |_| |_| |_|\___| | _ \
`\ ` .' | |__ _ _ _ __ _ __ _ _ | |_) | ___ _ __ ___
| | | __| | | | '_ \| '_ \| | | | | _ < / _ \| '_ \ / _ \
| | | | | |_| | | | | | | | |_| | | |_) | (_) | | | | __/
| 66|_ |_| \__,_|_| |_|_| |_|\__, | |____/ \___/|_| |_|\___|
| ,__) __/ |
|(,_| |___/ ISSN: 1527-6163
| |
| \_, T H E S U N D A Y F U N N I E S
| |
| | F R I D A Y E D I T I O N
.' \
( , ) You're subscribed to The Funny Bone's Sunday Funnies.
'--' '-' A once or twice a week mailing of ASCII art illustrated
jokes. Sometimes a bit risque but always funny.
Did you know that each week more than 50 cartoons or funny pictures
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and Dirty Fun, then you're missing a lot of the fun!
_ _
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Modern Art
.------------------....___ ,;;;,
/ / /'''---/;;;;;;,.,
jgs \ \__\...---\;;;;;;;"
'------------------'''' ````

A tiny but dignified old lady was among a group looking at an art
exhibition in a newly opened gallery. Suddenly one contemporary
painting caught her eye.
_____ /|
"What on earth," she inquired of the artist .-'@ & #`'-. //
standing nearby, "is that?" / % 8 \ //
| m () _ | //
He smiled condescendingly. "That, my dear \ 0 ( '-._/ //
lady, is supposed to be a mother and '-.____'. y
her child."

"Well then," snapped the little old lady, "why isn't it?"
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Asking For Directions

The Reverend Billy Graham tells of a time early in his career
when he arrived in a small town to preach a sermon. Wanting
to mail a letter, he asked a young boy directions to the post
office. _________
.`. `.
After being told the way by the lad, the Reverend / \ .======.\
Graham thanked him, adding: "If you'll come to | | |______||
the Baptist church this evening, you can hear me | | _____ |
telling everyone how to get to Heaven. | | / / |
| | /____/ |
"I don't think I'll be there," the boy said. | _ | |
"You don't even know your way to the |/ \|.-"```"-.|
post office." `` ||| |||
jgs `"` `"`
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Man Of The Month

Dear Sir:

We wish to thank you for your letter and Polaroid photo which we
recently received. We regret, however, that we will not be able to
use your photo as our "Playgirl's Man of the Month".
.-=-.
/\____) When rated by our AAW (Avaricious American Women)
| / . .\ on a scale of 1- 10, your body was rated a minus 2
\( _>| (-2). The panel is comprised of widowed
_) __/--""-.__ females ranging in ages from 50-75
.' ,__._ `''''-._ years of age who have been deprived
/ %% .\ ``''`;--.\ of sexual activity for a minimum
/ / ' _%- | .' \ of five years.
/ / \ _\- \ .' _ \
/ -;_ \ _\- \_.' /' \ \ .-, To confirm your
`--._'-.'. . %/)__.;___.;-.;_--. __.' / below average
`. \ \ `"` ````` _._) rating, we submitted
jgs )_/ '. _______...-`'----'` your photograph to
`"""""` a second panel, the
HUHA (Horny Undersexed Housewives of America), whose age range from
25 - 35. However, we could not get them to contain their laughter
long enough to rate you.

Please be assured, that should the tastes of American women
deteriorate so drastically that a body such as yours would be in
demand, you will be notified. Meanwhile, please do not call us,
we will call you.

Sincerely,
PLAYGIRL INC.

P.S. It pains us to inform you, that had your photo been used,
the staple holding our centerfold together would have completely
obstructed what you refer to as your "love tool of the 21st
Century".
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Three Baseball Fans

Three baseball fans leave the stadium after a game and come across
a dead, naked woman lying in the middle of the street. After they
call the cops, they each take off their baseball caps and place
them on the dead woman out of respect and to cover her private
parts until the cops arrive. ___
.-"`` `'.
The first fan places his Boston Red Sox cap .' \
over her left breast, the second places his / \
Phillies cap on her right breast and the | _.-"-._
third fan places his Braves cap on her | __..-"` `.
pubic area. '---'``-._ /
``--....-'`
The cops finally arrive, and the officers take
statements from the fans to find out what happened. After explaining
that they found her naked and covered her up with their caps, the
cop went over to examine the body.

He briefly lifted the Red Sox cap, and quickly replaced it. Then
he lifted the Phillies cap, and also quickly replaced it.

However, when he lifted the Braves cap, he stared and stared for
what seemed to be two or three minutes. Finally, he let the cap
drop, walked away, wrote in his notebook, then returned and lifted
the Braves cap once again and stared for a long time.

As he was walking away the second time, the fans were curious and
stopped him to ask why he spent so much time looking at the
woman's genitalia?

He replied, "It's the first time I've seen anything but an asshole
under a Braves cap."
_ _
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_ .-.
John Nunley - [email protected] ( `. .' )
`. ` /'
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/ '.
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