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|__ __| | November 26, 2000
| | | |__ ___ Sunday
| | | '_ \ / _ \
.-. _ ______ | | | | | | __/ ____
( `. .' ) | ____| |_| |_| |_|\___| | _ \
`\ ` .' | |__ _ _ _ __ _ __ _ _ | |_) | ___ _ __ ___
| | | __| | | | '_ \| '_ \| | | | | _ < / _ \| '_ \ / _ \
| | | | | |_| | | | | | | | |_| | | |_) | (_) | | | | __/
| 66|_ |_| \__,_|_| |_|_| |_|\__, | |____/ \___/|_| |_|\___|
| ,__) __/ |
|(,_| |___/ ISSN: 1527-6163
| |
| \_,
| | T H E S U N D A Y F U N N I E S
| |
.' \
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.-.
__ __ __| |__
The Killer / | | \ / One morning this
__| '-' |__ __| blonde calls her
Jigsaw Puzzle / \ / friend and says
\__ __/ \__ "Please come over
.-. | .-. | | and help me. I
___| |__ __ __\__| |__/__ __\ have this killer
\ / | | \ / | | \ jigsaw puzzle,
|__ __| '-' |__ __| '-' |__ and I can't figure
\ / \ / \ out how to start
__/ \__ __/ \__ __/ it."
| | .-. | | .-. |
/__ __\__| |__/__ __\__| |__/ Her friend asks
/ | | \ / | | "What is it a
__| '-' |__ __| '-' puzzle of?"
/ \ /
\__ __/ \__ The blonde says "From the picture on
| .-. | | the box, it's a tiger."
\__| |__/__ __\
jgs | | The blonde's friend figures that he's
'-' pretty good at puzzles, so he heads
over to her place. She lets him in the
door and shows him to where she has the puzzle spread all over the
table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then studies the box. He
then turns to her and says: "First, no matter what I do, I'm not
going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the
picture of that tiger."

"Second, I'd advise you to relax, have a cup of coffee, and put all
these Frosted Flakes back in the box."

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____________
/ __________ \
Can I Use ||. ' /)<\@ ||
|| <\@_/(\')||
Your Extra Bedroom? || (/|)(/@/>||
||_.___)/_'_||
_T_ \____________/ _T_
"Say," said / \ _ _ / \
the smooth / \ (_) (_) / \
operator in /_______\ | | __________________ | | /_______\
a confi- | |= | /` .:'':. `\ | =| |
dential tone / \ | | '::' '::' | | / \
to the host _\___/_ | | ;-"""-'""--"-; | | _\___/_
of the party, /"""""""\ | | / \ | | /"""""""\
"there's a |[__o__]| | | _\ /_ | | |[__o__]|
lot of hot ____|.-----.|_| |` '-..--''--..-' `| |_|.-----.|_____
babes at ____||_____||_|/"`~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`"\|_||_____||_____
this party. ||=====|| | __...----''''----...__ | ||=====||
If I find (| |) |` `| (| |)
one that's | |
ready to grab a quick | | ,;;;;;,
one, would you mind if | | ;;' , ';;
I used your extra | |;; _; ; ;;
bedroom?" |_ _|;;(__);_ ;;
(_) (_);;|(__)_);;
"What about your wife?" | | __________________ | |;; |_,___);
| /` .:'':. `\ |;; ; ; ;;
"Oh, I won't be gone | | '::' '::' | |;; ; ; ;;
that long. She'll never | | .'::'. | | ;;. ' .;;
miss me." j |--------------------| | ';;;;;'
g | | |
"No, I'm sure she won't s |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| |
miss you," smirked the |_| |_|
host...
"but fifteen minutes ago. She borrowed the extra bedroom."

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Do You Still Have Intercourse?
.-.
___ ( ) ___
An eighty-three year old lady finished ,_.-/ / /'-| |-'\ \ \-._,
her annual physical examination '/ / / /.-| |-.\ \ \ \'
whereupon the doctor said "You are in `~~~~` |.') `~~~~`
fine shape for your age, but tell me, (_.|
do you still have intercourse?" |._)
(_.|
"Just a minute, I'll have to ask my husband," |.')
she said. She went out to the reception room (_.|
and said: |._)
(_.|
"Jake do we still have intercourse?" |._)
(_.|
Jake answered impatiently, "If I told you once I |._)
told you a thousand times... We have Blue Cross!" '-' jgs

_ _
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I Want A Woman
.-.
| \
A brothel in the outback is going about its \ | |/_
daily business, when the front door is kicked '| /`
down by a huge cattle man armed with a giant |'._.'
stockwhip. He cracks the whip, and shouts out, |
"Thunder, Lightning!! I want a woman!!" |
#
The madam of the house, who is a seasoned #
professional, says in an unperturbed manner, #
"Upstairs, second door on the left, leave $50.00 #
here."

Which he does. Upon entering the second door on the left, he sees
the woman of questionable virtue lying in a voluptuous manner upon
an ornate bed. She rises slowly, and begins to sashay her way across
the room. She doesn't get far. The big cattle man pushes her down
on the bed, cracks his giant stockwhip, taking off one of her
earrings, and exclaims in a loud voice, "Thunder! I want a woman!!"

_, .--. The woman is stunned by the sudden turn of
( / ( '-. events. Before she can say anything, he turns
jgs .-=-. ) -. to the light switch flicking it up and down.
/ ( .' . \ "Lightning!!" he cries, then he blasts off
\ ( ' ,_) ) \_/ the other earring of the woman with a well
(_ , /\ ,_/ placed crack of the whip. "Thunder!! I want
'--\ `\--` a woman!!!"
_\ _\
`\ \ The woman is nearly deaf, and tries to
_\_\ compose herself. Suddenly the cattleman
`\\ turns on the ceiling fan, and cries,
\\ "Wind!!!" Ticky, ticky, ticky goes the light
-.'.`\.'.- switch. "Lightning" cries the cattleman, and
with his stockwhip, blasts off some of her
He switches the garments. "Thunder ... I want a woman."
fan onto a higher
setting, and cries, "Storm!!!" He plays with the light switch again
screaming, "Lightning!" and with several more cracks of the old bull
whip deftly removes her remaining outer garments. Her flimsy
underwear struggles to contain bulging female bits.

The cattleman is now getting quite worked up. He turns the fan on to
full, screaming, "Tempest!!" and drops his trousers and proceeds to
urinate copiously all over the hapless woman. "Torrential Rain!!! "
screams the cattleman, and once again plays with the light switch.
"Lightning" screams the cattleman, and with his stockwhip blasts her
brassiere down the middle. Two well formed breasts lunge out.
"Thunder!!... I WANT A WOMAN!"

The woman of questionable virtue is now very aroused by all this and
she cries out, "Go on then, you big brute, take me!!"

And he says, "What? In this weather??"
_ _
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(_.===============================================._)

_ .-.
John Nunley - [email protected] ( `. .' )
`. ` /'
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