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|__ __| | May 31, 2000
| | | |__ ___ Wednesday
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( `. .' ) | ____| |_| |_| |_|\___| | _ \
`\ ` .' | |__ _ _ _ __ _ __ _ _ | |_) | ___ _ __ ___
| | | __| | | | '_ \| '_ \| | | | | _ < / _ \| '_ \ / _ \
| | | | | |_| | | | | | | | |_| | | |_) | (_) | | | | __/
| 66|_ |_| \__,_|_| |_|_| |_|\__, | |____/ \___/|_| |_|\___|
| ,__) __/ |
|(,_| |___/ ISSN: 1527-6163
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| \_, T H E S U N D A Y F U N N I E S
| |
| | M I D W E E K E D I T I O N
.' \
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_,,--,,_
A Pakistani tourist after a long walk in one /` .`\
of very fancy clean streets of Delhi found / ' _.-' \
himself needing to urinate badly. After a | `'_{}_ |
long search he could not find any place to | /` `\ |
you-know, and eventually couldn't control \/ == == \/
himself and chose a silent corner of a clean /| (.)(.) |\
street to release himself. \| __)_ |/
|\/____\/|
As soon as he had just started you-know-what, | ` ~~ ` |
a Delhi police official approached him, \ /
"Hey, What do you think you're doing here?" `.____.` jgs

Pakistani tourist: "Sorry I have to Pee"

Police : "No PP here okay ? Follow me......"

The Police officer took him to a beautiful garden nearby with lots of
grass, flowers and singing birds around........

Police: "PP here..... and have a nice day".

Pakistani tourist : "Oh Sir, ....... that's very nice of you, is this
Indian courtesy?"

Police: "No.......this is The Pakistani Embassy!"

If you enjoyed this joke PLEASE recommend it to a friend.
_ http://www.funnybone.com/recommend/ _
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___
The Adopted Rabbit: '--.'. _..._
.' `.----'
/`o \ _..._
An infant rabbit was orphaned. '.__ .' `'` '.
Fortunately though, a family of / .- \
squirrels took it in and raised | | | |
it as if it were one of their own. / \/ /--.\ }
This adoption led to some peculiar .' // /` /` _\ ,/`
behaviors on the part of the rabbit, ``.' / `/` .--'
including a tendency for it to eschew ``` ``` jgs
jumping but rather to embrace running around like its step siblings.

As the rabbit passed through puberty, however, it soon faced an
identity crisis (don't we all!). It went to its stepparents to
discuss the problem.

It allowed as to how it felt different from its step siblings, was
unsure of its place in the universe, and was generally forlorn. Their
response was, ... "Don't scurry, be hoppy."

_ http://www.funnybone.com/recommend/ _
(_'-----------------------------------------------'_)
(_.===============================================._)

.""-.
/ / ( Touring Egypt
.-""-.__.-\__)_/
/ (
| / _ \\_ _ An Egyptian guide shepherds his party
\jgs____\'--\_____\\ into Cairo's most beautiful mosque and
announced, "Here the sons of our great
leader Nasser and his aristocratic friends learn to worship God and
his prophet Mohammed."

A Maoist from Shanghai interrupted from the edge of the crowd,
That's not the way my Chinese ancestors tell it."

The guide looked pained and remarked...
"There seems to be a little Confucian around here."

_ http://www.funnybone.com/recommend/ _
(_'-----------------------------------------------'_)
(_.===============================================._)

0_
T-Shirt Sayings \`. ___
\ \ / __>0
/\ / |/' /
-Filthy Stinking Rich... Well, Two Out / \/ ` ,`'--.
of Three Ain't Bad / /(___________)_ \
-I Used Up All My Sick Days... So I |/ //.-. .-.\\ \ \
Called In Dead 0 // :@ ___ @: \\ \/
-Husband and Cat Lost... Reward for Cat ( o ^(___)^ o ) 0
-Be Nice to Your Children... They'll Pick \ \_______/ /
Your Nursing Home '._______.' jgs
-Husbands Should Come With Instructions
-Upon the Advice of My Attorney, My Shirt Bears No Message at This
Time
-Even If You Lead a Good Life, Go to Church and Say Your Prayers,
You'll Still Go to Des Moines When You Die
-Bigamy Is Having One Wife Too Many. Monogamy Is the Same
-I'm Not Suddenly a Dirty Old Man...I've Been Practicing Since 1949
-Happiness Is Seeing Your Mother-in-Law on a Milk Carton
-Just Give Me Chocolate and Nobody Gets Hurt
-Learn from Your Parents' Mistakes...Use Birth Control
-If God Had Wanted Me to Touch My Toes, He Would Have Put Them on My
Knees
-A Nest Isn't Empty Until All Their Stuff Is Out of the Attic
-Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up
-My Husband and I Married for Better or Worse... He Couldn't do
Better and I Couldn't Do Worse
-My Dog Can Lick Anyone
-Never Underestimate the Power of Stupid People in Large Groups
-(On a baby-size shirt) Party - My Crib - Two A.M.
-I Don't Suffer from Insanity.... I'm a Carrier
-The More I Learn About Women, the More I Love My Harley
-I'm Not 50. I'm $49.95 Plus Shipping & Handling
-I Am the Person Your Parents Warned You About
-That Was Zen; This Is Tao
-Fifty Is the Ultimate F-Word
_ _
(_\ /_) -Aliens Have Examined My Internal
)) (( Organs
.-"""""""-. -I'm on a 30-Day Diet. So Far I've Lost
/^\/ _. _. \/^\ 15 Days
\( /__\ /__\ )/ -Your Kid May Be an Honor Student, But
\, \o_/_\o_/ ,/ You're Still an idiot
\ (_) / -When You Do a Good Deed, Get a
`-.'==='.-' Receipt, in Case Heaven Is Like the
__) - (__ IRS
/ `~~~` \ -Sometimes I Fantasize That I'm Rich
/ / \ \ Enough to Be a Republican
\ : ; / -Disregard Last T-Shirt
\|==(*)==|/ -I Do Whatever the Voices Tell Me to Do
: : -I'm Retired and This Is As Dressed Up
\ | / As I'm Gonna Get
___)=|=(___ -Growing Old Is Mandatory... Growing Up
jgs {____/ \____} Is Optional
-I'm Not 50--I'm 18 with 32 Years
Experience
-Parents of Teenagers Know Why Animals Eat Their Young
-Goodbye Tension... Hello Pension

_ http://www.funnybone.com/recommend/ _
(_'-----------------------------------------------'_)
(_.===============================================._)

HOW TO IDENTIFY WHERE A DRIVER IS FROM: ________ h___
__ __ _____ ___ | | | L|_
_/ L\__ _| L\__ | L\_ _/ L\__ | |_| |
'-o---o-' '-o---o-' '-O---O-' '=o----o-' '-OO----`OO----O-'

One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: Chicago

One hand on wheel, one finger out window: New York

One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on
accelerator: Boston

One hand on wheel, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator:
California.

With gun in lap: L.A.

Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in
terror: Ohio, but driving in California.

Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned
to talk to someone in back seat: Italy

One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on
brake, mind on game: Seattle

One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between
both feet being on the accelerator and both on the brake, throwing
a McDonalds bag out the window: Texas

Four wheel drive pickup truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer
cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: West Virginia

Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above window
level, driving 35 on the interstate in the left lane with the left
blinker on: Florida
_ _
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(_.===============================================._)

_ .-.
John Nunley - [email protected] ( `. .' )
`. ` /'
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