_______ _
                      |__   __| |                        May 12, 2000
                         | |  | |__   ___                      Friday
                         | |  | '_ \ / _ \
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(   `. .' )   |  ____|   |_|  |_| |_|\___|   |  _ \
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   |   |      |  __| | | | '_ \| '_ \| | | | |  _ < / _ \| '_ \ / _ \
   |   |      | |  | |_| | | | | | | | |_| | | |_) | (_) | | | |  __/
   | 66|_     |_|   \__,_|_| |_|_| |_|\__, | |____/ \___/|_| |_|\___|
   |  ,__)                             __/ |
   |(,_|                              |___/           ISSN: 1527-6163
   | |
   | \_,               T H E    S U N D A Y    F U N N I E S
   |   |
   |   |                    F R I D A Y    E D I T I O N
 .'     \
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        _                                                 _
       (_'-----------------------------------------------'_)
       (_.===============================================._)

                                                       ,
A few years ago, in my home town school               /;\
district, a high school teacher was accused           |;|
of "introducing" some of his students to         ,_   |;|   _,
marijuana.                                       \ '-.|;|.-' /
                                                __'.`_\;/_`.'__
Apparently several of the students             `._ - =.'. = -_.`
eventually developed such strong pot             .-'``/|\``'-.
habits that they had "munched" themselves         ``'` | `'``  jgs
20-30 lbs. overweight, and had voluntarily
turned the teacher in out of anger.

It was not the first time...  a pot smoker had been given away by
dilated pupils.

     If you enjoyed this joke PLEASE recommend it to a friend.
        _       http://www.funnybone.com/recommend/       _
       (_'-----------------------------------------------'_)
       (_.===============================================._)

                                           _ (.".) _
A rock group on tour is motoring          '-'/. .\'-'
through Wyoming in its luxurious            /_   _\     _...._
recreational vehicle. Suddenly,            (` o o `)---`   .::'.
their passage is obstructed by         jgs  /"---"` .::'    '   \
hundreds of steers. The musicians           |:  .::.     /  .::;|
hail a cowboy and politely ask if           |'  ::'   .:|    ':||
they may drive through in order to           \\   \  \ '\     /\\
meet their concert date.                      \`;-'| |-.-'-,  \ |)
                                               ( | ( |    ||( |
"No way," snaps the cattleman.                  ||  ||    || ||
                                               /_( /_(   /_(/_(
The rockers huddle to consider their
options, then return to the stubborn cowboy.

"We've got some really unusual grass," they offer slyly. "Marijuana
in suppository form."

The cowboy accepts the bribe and reins in the animals long enough to
allow the group's bus to proceed.

     Moral? ...  A herd in the band is worth boo in the tush.

        _       http://www.funnybone.com/recommend/       _
       (_'-----------------------------------------------'_)
       (_.===============================================._)

                                              /`\  ___  /`\
Once there was a horse that was in            \d `"\:/"` b/
agony. Several birds were building           /`.--. ` .--.`\
nests in his mane and nothing he             |/ __ \ / __ \|
did would make them stop. The noise          ( ((o) V (o)) )
and activity were driving the horse          |\`""`/^\`""`/|
crazy.  So, he decided to see the            \ `--'\ /'--` /
wise old owl for help.                       /`-._  `  _.-`\
                                            / /.:.:.:.:.:.\ \
The old owl told him to go home and        ; |.:.:.:.:.:.:.| ;
put some yeast in his mane and all         | |:.:.:.:.:.:.:| |
would be well.  The horse thought          | |.:.:.:.:.:.:.| |
this was a bit nutty, but out of           | |:.:.:.:.:.:.:| |
desperation, he did what the owl           \/\.:.:.:.:.:.:./\/
told him.                                    _`).-.-:-.-.(`_
                                         ,=^` |=  =| |=  =| `^=,
The next morning the mane was           /jgs  \=/\=/ \=/\=/     \
completely clear of nests.  The
very surprised horse trotted excitedly to the owl's house.

When asked why the yeast worked, the owl replied, "Horse, don't you
know that yeast is yeast and nest is nest and never the mane shall
tweet?"

        _       http://www.funnybone.com/recommend/       _
       (_'-----------------------------------------------'_)
       (_.===============================================._)

                                             _    _
                                            ).\  (o)
From a local (South African) newspaper:       \`,/~/\___
Mail & Guardian -  Johannesburg,              ,/        \,
5 August 1999                             .-./ |   ...    \._   /|
                                         | o |_|   |__}    ._III |
BLOEMFONTEIN COUPLE FILMED HAVING         '-'  |         ,/     \|
SEX IN LIFT                                     `-------'
                                                   ||
A hidden surveillance camera caught a couple       ||
having sex in the lift at a Bloemfontein           ||
government building on Wednesday, SABC radio       ||
news reported.  The passionate couple,            //\\
apparently unaware that Big Brother was          //||\\
watching them from a hidden camera,             // || \\
couldn't wait until they got home, much        //  ||  \\
to the astonishment of several security       //   ||   \\
guards watching the video feed several       //    ||    \\   jgs
floors below. The fate of the couple       ====    ====   ====
and their raunchy video material has
yet to be decided.

...giving a new meaning to "Going down?"
        _                                                 _
       (_'-----------------------------------------------'_)
       (_.===============================================._)

                                                           _     .-.
      John Nunley  -  [email protected]            ( `. .'   )
                                                           `. `   /'
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      For more humor, visit the Funny Bone Website           L_,)|
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                                                             ,_/ |
               ASCII Art by Joan Stark                       |   |
              http://www.ascii-art.com/                      |   |
                                                            /     '.
Copyright (c) 2000 The Funny Bone - All Rights Reserved.   (   ,    )
                                                            '-' '--'
     ASCII Art Copyright (c) 1996-00 - Joan G. Stark
 please read guidelines for redistribution of ASCII art
      http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/7373/please.htm

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