(C) Tennessee Lookout
This story was originally published by Tennessee Lookout and is unaltered.
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Doctor Who vs. the Orange Blob • Tennessee Lookout [1]
['Mark Harmon', 'More From Author', 'March']
Date: 2024-03-05
Things were going according to plan at McGhee-Tyson Airport in Knoxville, Tenn. Air Traffic Controller Mike Fellows had just guided the Donald Trump campaign plane to a distant runway adjacent to a National Guard Armory, set up for a Trump Super Tuesday rally. “Tower to Armory Security,” Fellows said. “All clear. The Ego has landed.”
“Confirmed,” replied Brad Johnson, the on-scene planner, “Trump should be de-planing soon for the rally. Crowd is sparse, but has been through security protocols.”
Just then there was a loud swoosh. “Brad,” said Fellows, “Did I just see a blue Police Call Box materialize outside the plane?”
“Affirmative,” replied Johnson. “It appears to be a TARDIS.”
“A what?” exclaimed Fellows.
“A TARDIS,” responded Johnson. “Haven’t you ever watched Doctor Who?”
“Negative, Brad, keep me posted on what happens. All air traffic, proceed as normal until further notification,” said Fellows.
At the armory site, Doctor Who — as played by British actor Ncuti Gatwa — exited the Tardis at the same time Trump exited the plane. The Doctor held aloft a screwdriver that seemed to move back the small crowd.
“Ahoy, there,” said The Doctor to Trump. “Sorry to interrupt, but I’ve been sent here to stop an orange blob from swallowing American democracy.”
“Get this guy outta here!” demanded Trump, but his security detail was frozen in place by the sonic screwdriver.
“The soothsayers of Pompeii were quite clear,” noted The Doctor. “I must stop this danger. That’s why I’m here in 2016 to stop the global catastrophe of a totally unqualified narcissist becoming president.”
“It’s 2024,” blared Trump.
“Oh, dear,” said The Doctor. “I must fix those Tardis time settings where we spilled the milkshake. But my notes also say that in 2024 I must then prevent a proven fascist threat.”
“Who is this nutso?” bellowed Trump.
“Sorry, forgive my manners, I’m The Doctor.”
“You’re a doctor?” chuckled Trump. “I told all of you Obamacare would lead to this.” He gestured toward the crowd, but the normal applause line fell flat as they remained stunned.
“You sound like some sort of illegal alien to me,” guessed Trump.
“Well, my two hearts first started beating on Gallifrey,” revealed The Doctor, “but I’ve been through a lot of regenerations since then. I recently spent a stint as a vaguely familiar Scotsman, and before that I was a woman.”
“I knew it,” yelled Trump, “one of these transgender types. Part of the woke vermin polluting our country.” Trump thought that line would draw more applause but the crowd looked on in continued stunned silence.
“Let me explain,” The Doctor continued. “I travel through time and space and save humanity from various threats. Often, I’m accompanied by delightful young women companions.”
“I did that with Jeffrey Epstein, and everyone got mad at me,” lamented Trump. “Everyone’s so unfair to me.”
“Hardly,” replied The Doctor, “I’ve just updated my research. You’ve encouraged insurrection, been found responsible for sexual assault, quoted the world’s worst dictators, and pledged to weaken democracy just for revenge. That’s why I must stop you.”
“Nothing can stop me,” boasted Trump. “I could shoot someone on Fifth Avenue and nothing would happen.”
“I know past efforts have failed. The impeachments failed. The trials are so slow. The fact checks bounce right off you. I’m here to open the minds of your supporters,” The Doctor said.
“There’s nothing in there,” boasted Trump.
“Oh, no,” corrected The Doctor. “I can make them capable of seeing the foolishness of you.” He waved about the screwdriver, and the crowd started giggling, then chuckling, and finally laughing and pointing at Trump as the source of their amusement.
“Stop! No!” exclaimed Trump, but it was too late. Under his own crowd’s derision, he melted into an orange blob and bubbled away into nothingness.
Johnson picked up his walkie-talkie and called Fellows. “Mike, Brad here. All is fine. The runways remain clear, and I think democracy just was saved.” At that moment The Doctor went back into the Tardis, and it promptly disappeared.
[END]
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