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What if the Democratic Party Leaders Grew a Backbone? [1]
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Date: 2025-09-08
It appears our Democratic leaders still don’t know how to beat a bully.
For decades, they’ve been bringing pamphlets to a gunfight, waving their “We Go High” banners while the other side is down in the mud with brass knuckles, steel-toed boots, and a megaphone screaming, “Lock ’em up!”
Newsflash: kindness doesn’t beat fascism.
So here’s a thought. What if—for once—Democrats stopped playing chess while the reThuglicans are playing bar fight? What if they actually joined the war instead of holding hands and singing Kumbaya while democracy gets set on fire? We know what’s going on; we don’t need to be told by our lawmakers. We need our lawmakers to do something about it.
Step 1: Fight Dirty
What if Democrats stole a page from the MAGA playbook and sent out a daily list of talking points to every lawmaker? You know, like the other side does.
Except instead of drooling into microphones, our people would actually sound… coherent.
And then—brace yourself—they go on Faux News to ram those talking points down the audience’s throat.
Every. Single. Day.
Imagine the meltdown.
Tucker Carlson’s bow tie would spin so fast it’d power a small wind farm.
Steve Bannon might have a heart attack.
Step 2: Weaponize Chaos
What if Blue State governors played tRump at his own game?
Picture this:
“Mr. President, we don’t need your troops. We’ve got this covered.”
Then… do nothing.
Or better yet, send the National Guard to patrol conservative suburbs, politely waving at their ring cameras while the neighborhood Facebook group has a collective aneurysm.
Step 3: Mind Games
What if Democrats started telegraphing traps? Not subtle traps. Not clever traps. No, I’m talking big, neon-flashing, Vegas-style traps with a sign that says:
“HEY, DONALD, STEP HERE.”
And then, just for fun, they announce on live TV:
“We’re setting a trap tomorrow at 3 p.m., Mr. President. Be sure to bring your clown shoes.”
You think that wouldn’t keep him up all night rage-posting in all caps?
Step 4: The Statue Wars
Imagine Democrats erecting massive statues of Black leaders, trans heroes, drag queens, and every marginalized group Republicans can’t stop screaming about.
Put them on courthouse lawns.
Put them in front of Chick-fil-A and Cracker Barrel
Put one right outside Mar-a-Lago, towering over the golf carts.
Conservatives would absolutely lose their minds. They’d start passing out in the streets like Victorian ladies.
Step 5: Hit Hard with Questions
What if the media—God forbid—actually asked real questions, like:
“Mr. President, you and your Director of National Intelligence, Tulsi Gabbard, accused a former U.S. president of treason—a crime punishable by death. Where are the charges? Where is the evidence? Or were you just joking about publicly executing a political opponent? Should we laugh, or should we start building gallows?”
Can you imagine the scramble at the White House after that press conference?
Step 6: Own the Outrage Machine
What if Democrats agreed with tRump that the Epstein files are irrelevant?
“No need to release them, Mr. President. We already know you hung out with multiple convicted pedophiles. That’s common knowledge. Save the paper.”
Boom. Mic drop.
Or echo RFK Jr.:
“Conservatives don’t need no stinkin’ vaccines!”
Then quietly give every Democrat a booster while the other side coughs their lungs out at a rally.
Step 7: Pure, Petty Chaos
What if Democrats skipped House and Senate votes entirely and sent selfies from Cancun instead?
Or better yet, filmed themselves in front of a green screen:
Parasailing in Bali
Riding camels in Dubai
Base jumping off the Statue of Liberty
Caption: “Find me, losers!”
Meanwhile, Republicans are screaming into C-SPAN cameras, veins bulging like garden hoses.
And why stop there?
What if Democrats started baiting ICE agents into completely pointless missions?
“Oh no, a caravan of trans, vegan, socialist refugees is headed for the border!”
Send ICE racing across Texas to find… a petting zoo.
Step 8: Go Full Thug
Look, these are just a handful of ideas—quick and dirty ways to show Democrats can play this game.
Because let’s face it: right now, they’re like the nerdy kid in gym class trying to reason with the dodgeball team while getting pelted in the face.
So please, Democratic leaders:
Out-crazy the crazies.
Out-lie the liars.
Outplay the bullies.
Out-outrage the outrage machine.
Otherwise, get ready to sit there and lose—again—while the other side high-fives over the smoldering ruins of democracy.
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