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Cheers and Jeers: Thursday [1]
['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']
Date: 2025-09-04
Oh! More Things I Know:
❧ There are 61 days ‘til the 2025 elections. ❧ The J.B. Pritzker-Donald Trump cage match must happen. ❧ We are all descendants of cave dwellers who used “Og!” as a noun, verb, adjective, adverb, preposition, conjunction, interjection, and frequently successful excuse for getting out of tickets for double-parking their wooly mammoth. ❧ One of the more unexplainable things about this fall’s NB.1.8.1 variant of the Covid virus when you look at it through a microscope is it’s wearing a painter’s cap. ❧ Every night before Speaker Mike Johnson goes to bed he whispers to Satan: “Fooled ‘em for another day, buddy.” ❧ Sure, our nation is circling the drain. But on the bright side, no previous democracy ever got to immolate itself while enjoying the taste of Cool Ranch Doritos. Also what I know: Republicans will be the #1 violators of their own billboards at voting time. ❧ I can now confess: I slept my way to the top of the lower 20th percentile. ❧ Trump has now lost court cases involving his tariffs, his military invasions of American cities, and his ICE-stapo kidnapping program. Oh-for-three. Genius. ❧ Other than the thousand-year killer floods and thousand-year killer droughts and thousand-year killer heat waves, it’s been a delightfully pleasant summer. ❧ I did a load of laundry yesterday. All my socks are accounted for but now the dryer's missing. ❧ My biggest fear about having to fight in a second Civil War is saddle sores. The second biggest is sucking in a bunch of campfire smoke and choking while playing my plaintive harmonica at dusk. ❧ The bad news: we’re all food for worms. The good news: they tell me that with a little ketchup we ain’t half bad.
And now, our feature presentation...
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, September 4, 2025
Note: Today is Bring Your Manners to Work Day. To commemorate the occasion properly, please steal your co-workers’ food from the employee fridge with pinky extended. —Mgt.
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By the Numbers:
Saturday!!! (P.S. Love the poster.)
Days 'til we turn our clocks back: 59
Days 'til Alaska's Girdwood Fungus Fair: 2
Estimated number of Americans who got kicked off of food stamps by the Republican party as of Monday, according to a CBO analysis: 2.4 million
Estimated extra amount poor families will have to pay per month without food stamps: $72 to $231
Percent support, per Gallup polling, of Trump's handling of education: 38%
Year-over-year drop in construction spending as of July: 2.9%
Age of Academy Award-nominated actor Graham Greene when he died Monday: 73
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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
What do you mean, you don't like George W. Bush's foreign policy? He's met twice now with Puddin' of Russia; he went to the G-8 deal and only one guy got killed; he met with the Popester, a rockin' guy, and didn't object that His Holiness was wearin' some kind of A-rab robe with a Jew-boy hat. Or even that His Holiness kept lookin' at his shoes while they talked about stemming cell phone research, or something. Karl told George W. he needed the Catholic vote, so Bush called the Popester "Sir." But he didn't refer to anyone in Italy as a wop. So what if Puddin' liked the sport-fucker? Bush is in way over his head. Foreign policy is where the mule throwed Russell. It's worse than collectin' pick-up sticks with your butt cheeks. —September 2001
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Dogs get cancer, too. And sometimes they beat it, too...
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CHEERS to dissension in the cultist ranks. Oh, Republicans, you incompetent little rat-faced scamps. In a last-ditch effort to pre-distract us from yesterday morning's harrowing accounts by victims of Jeffrey Epstein's pedophilia ring, James Comer's House Oversight Committee dumped a bunch of Epstein-related documents Tuesday night, claiming they were big and bombshell-y. Let's see how that went over with the MAGA faithful:
“Literally 97% of the ‘Epstein files’ just released by the House Oversight Committee were already public,” wrote Evan Kilgore, formally an ambassador for the far-right nationalist group Turning Point USA, in a social media post on X Tuesday to his more than 130,000 followers. “We got played again.” “Oh my god, Republicans just fake released the Epstein files again,” wrote Kyle Kulinski, host of the Kyle Kulinski Show, in a social media post on X to his more than 500,000 followers.
Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln says she enjoyed the play very much.
CHEERS to a diverse slate. Sorry to bring up the 2026 midterm elections two months before the 2025 results have been sealed in the history books, but it would appear that next year's U.S. Senate race here in Maine is heating up early. In the quest to defeat the Republican candidate who may or may not be Susan "My Concern Knob Goes To 11" Collins (she hasn’t announced yet), we have two Democratic candidates generating buzz up here: the oyster farmer and the craft beer brewer. But hold on! If my sources are correct, imminent candidacies will be announced by the blueberry harvester, the lighthouse tender, the flannel shirt tailor, the boat builder, the country inn owner, the L.L.Bean boot quality inspector, the hermit in the North Woods, the seascape artist, and the moose (which I looked up in the official rules and there's nothing that says a moose can't run in a federal election so keep your lawsuits holstered, bub). The primary isn’t until June 9th, so if the contractor with the creepy van or the chowder baron join in, we'll let you know.
CHEERS to far-from-conventional conventions. 251 years ago this week, back yonder in 1774, the First Continental Congress assembled at Carpenters' Hall in Philadelphia to push back against the monarchy of a mad narcissist:
It was held because the colonists were very upset about the Intolerable Acts and the taxes. The Intolerable Acts were punishments that King George III put on the colonies. He put them on so the colonists would feel sorry about dumping tea into Boston Harbor during the Boston Tea Party.
Of course, the opposite happened. We got royally pissed, revolted, formed our own country, and then thrived and prospered until we started coming apart at the seams and heading down the path to becoming a monarchy led by a mad narcissist thanks to the efforts of...the Tea Party. Oh George, you sneaky bastard.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to that other city that never sleeps. On September 4, 1781, Los Angeles (Spanish for "Get the f*ck out of our city, ICE" from the Latin root “Getus the fuckus out of our citius, ICEUS”) was founded by Spanish settlers. They would've settled there a lot sooner but traffic on the 101 was a bitch.
CHEERS to yankin' and bankin'. The NSA has been keeping a close eye (and ear) on the Tooth Fairy, given her socialist/communist tendency to buy off children's loyalty with free money in exchange for little more than nuggets of calcium and enamel. Via their secret front-group Delta Dental, they've tabulated what kids get when they lose a tooth, and these days the Tooth Fairy, taking a cue from GOP budget cuts, leaves a tad under five bucks. Meanwhile, when an adult loses a tooth the dentist leaves a bill just a tad over six Mercedes payments.
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Ten years ago in C&J: September 4, 2015
CHEERS to beating the clock. Try as they might, Republicans couldn't act fast enough to prevent Democrats from getting their hands on enough persuasive material to develop and build a veto bomb. And what a swan song for the outgoing senator whose vote put the peacemongers over the top (via The Baltimore Sun):
Sen. Barbara A. Mikulski of Maryland announced her support Wednesday for the pending nuclear agreement with Iran, offering the last vote President Barack Obama needs to ensure he can sustain a veto if Congress rejects the controversial pact later this month. Sen. Mikulski, now 89, is “doing great” and teaching public policy at Johns Hopkins University. Mikulski, a Democrat who is retiring at the end of her current term…became the 34th Democrat to support the agreement, depriving Republicans of the votes needed to override a veto. Mikulski said she is confident the deal blocks the pathways for Tehran to obtain a bomb. In a lengthy statement, she also echoed the Obama administration's position that the only alternative to the deal is further sanctions or military action.
A word of advice: don’t go to any right-wing blogs this morning. The noise will turn ya deaf and the outrage will melt the skin off your face.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to our Top Questions of the Day. We ask so you don’t have to. And a' one and a' two…
IT'S SEPTEMBER, HAS THE FED CUT INTEREST RATES YET? HAS THE FED CUT INTEREST RATES YET? HAS THE FED CUT INTEREST RATESYET? HOW 'BOUT NOW? ANYTHING YET? HAS THE FED CUT INTEREST RATES YET? HAS THE FED CUT INTEREST RATES YET? WHY HAVEN'T THEY CUT INTEREST RATES YET? DID THEY CUT INTEREST RATES WHILE I WAS ASKING THAT LAST QUESTION ABOUT INTEREST RATES? DID THEY? DID THEY? HUH? HUH?
Join us in 24 hours when tomorrow's Top Questions of the Day will look just like today's.
Oh, and NFL season starts today as the Eagles play the Cowboys. I believe that's your cue to start tap dancing with sparklers. Or something. Have a nice Thursday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial Folks in Cheers and Jeers don't suffer fools lightly, and Trump is a fool who thinks he can flex his authoritarian muscles by sending troops into the C&J kiddie pool. —Rex Huppke, USA Today
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[END]
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