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Cheers and Jeers: Thursday [1]

['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']

Date: 2025-07-31

A Brief Rebuttal

Via Colbert, Beyoncé has a tuneful response to the pedophile’s best friend who wants her prosecuted for...something something:

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And in other music news, the sitting president—the greatest American patriot ever, with the greatest brain and sharpest memory, who oozes the red, white and blue—still has no clue what the words are to our national anthem. He should be deported.

And now, our feature presentation...

Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, July 31, 2025

Note: According to the answer given this morning by C&J’s new artificial intelligence program, yes, it is indeed “hot enough for ya.” We hope you find this information useful. —Mgr.

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2 days!!!

By the Numbers:

Days 'til August's full "sturgeon moon": 9

Days 'til the 25th annual Powderhorn Art Fair in Minneapolis: 2

Percent of Americans polled by Gallup who approve of Israel's invasion of Gaza: 32%

Job openings in June, down from 7.7 million in May: 7.44 million

Expected increase in U.S. factory costs as a result of new tariffs, according to the Washington Center for Equitable Growth: 2% - 4.5%

Percent chance that Maine considered the Justice Department's demand that the state turn over all its voter information…and, in the words of our Secretary of State Shenna Bellows, told AG Pam Bondi to “go jump in the Gulf of Maine": 100%

Year John Bennett Cook started selling ketchup as a cure for indigestion, diarrhea, and jaundice: 1834

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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:

So, now all we know about John Roberts is that he has nice manners and is being managed by a bunch of morons—and he's willing to say what they spin for him. Then we start getting the record. He's defended the often violent Operation Rescue. He went to Florida to advise Jeb Bush during the 2000 election recount. Other Federalists, Timothy Flanigan (who's now in confirmation hearings for deputy attorney general) and Ted Olson (who became solicitor general of the United States) signed onto the brief to convince the Supremes to stop the count in Florida and install Bush. It's all classic, right-wing judicial activism—the very "activism" they complain bitterly about if it doesn't fit their radical agenda.

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Puppy Pic of the Day: The great escape…

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CHEERS to the Joe Biden economy. As any reputable economist will tell you while swearing on a stack of abacuses: when good things happen they're the residual effects of policies put in place by our previous president, and when bad things happen they're because of Donald Trump's America-hating agenda for which he should be prosecuted, convicted, sentenced, and jailed. So a big shout-out this morning in the direction of Delaware, where President Biden is being hailed as the savior of the American economy again:

U.S. gross domestic product, or GDP, increased at a 3% annualized rate over three months ending in June. […] A photo of the last president who actually worked for his salary. A boost in consumer spending helped propel the economic surge, the U.S. Commerce Department said. […] The unemployment rate stands near a historically low level and job growth remains robust, though it has slowed from previous highs.

Joe Biden and the Democrats: building an economy so strong and resilient that six months later it's still tariff-proof, MAGA-proof, and DOGE-proof. (Oh, waitress? I'll have what Dark Brandon is having.)

JEERS to toddlers at the helm. And then there's Biden's successor: a Republican who swears he would never date anyone under the age of 13, yet is currently embroiled in a pedophilia scandal—a mess he's trying to corrupt his way out of—involving the sexual abuse of hundreds of minors. Among his campaign promises was ending Russia's invasion of peaceful Ukraine and the systematic murder of countless Ukrainian civilians "in the first 24 hours of my second term." With a little assistance from Rachel Maddow Show producer Steve Benen, here's how that's working out six months later:

January 20: Trump fails to end the Russian invasion within the first 24 hours. Late January: Trump threatens Putin with sanctions, fails to follow through. Early March: Same thing happens again. Late March: Same thing happens again. Early May: Same thing happens again. 15 days ago: Trump again threatens Putin with sanctions, gives Putin a 50-day deadline. Monday: Trump shortens 50 days to 10-12 days

As of this morning we're down to 7-9 days. Oh dear. That's barely enough time to rent my failure tuxedo.

CHEERS to smart war management. 164 years ago, in 1861, President Lincoln signed into law the first federal income tax. He felt it was fiscally responsible because we were waging a civil war. Today red-hatted Republicans would tar Lincoln as a tax-and-spend liberal and hold the surrender ceremony at Appomattox hostage until he backed down and repealed it. And after Abe got done with them, there'd be a lot of weepy Republicans pulling their red hats out of their asses.

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BRIEF SANITY BREAK

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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK

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CHEERS to a little help from our friends. On July 31, 1777 (gosh, it seems like yesterday), the Marquis de Lafayette was made a major-general in the American Continental Army. He said that even though we had to "go to war with the army you have, not the army you might want or wish to have at a later time," the British Army, now located in “Yorktown and Philadelphia and east, west, south and north somewhat,” was "in the last throes of the insurgency, if you will" because we had "turned a corner," and promised that after we won the War of Independence—based on a sensible "time horizon"—we'd be "greeted as liberators with sweets and flowers." Crazy French. Where do they come up with this stuff?

CHEERS to getting a bird's-eye view of home sweet home. Even as 4,000 NASA employees leave the agency and Trump slaps a 25% tariff on India, somehow the space agencies of our two countries managed to join forces and successfully launch a satellite that will be conducting a close inspection of our little blue marble:

Carrying an advanced radar system that will produce a dynamic, three-dimensional view of Earth in unprecedented detail, the NISAR (NASA-ISRO Synthetic Aperture Radar) satellite has launched from Satish Dhawan Space Centre in Sriharikota, Andhra Pradesh, India. NISAR: the latest eyewitness to our demise. From 464 miles above Earth, NISAR will use two advanced radar instruments to track changes in Earth’s forests and wetland ecosystems, monitor deformation and motion of the planet’s frozen surfaces, and detect the movement of Earth’s crust down to fractions of an inch—a key measurement in understanding how the land surface moves before, during, and after earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, and landslides. [T]he satellite can detect the movement of land and ice surfaces down to the centimeter. The mission will help protect communities by providing unique, actionable information to decision-makers in a diverse range of areas, including disaster response, infrastructure monitoring, and agricultural management.

And this just in: DOGE has just fired all the decision-makers in disaster response, infrastructure monitoring, and agricultural management. The satellite will now be available for rental by MAGA politicians to spy on women's shower stalls. (Or, if you’re Jim Jordan: men’s.)

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Ten years ago in C&J: July 31, 2015

CHEERS to World War III FAIL. Yesterday, while America slept, Vladimir Putin ripped off shirt and ordered mightiest ship in Soviet fleet to reduce United States to the rubbles with single shot. Too bad he forget first rule of Russian karma: it sucks to be you:

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And in other news, Crimea clam flat becomes world's latest nuclear nation. Film at 11.

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And just one more…

CHEERS to remembering that time when the Republicans were awesome!!! Eleven years ago today, the House Intelligence Committee released the findings of their Benghazi investigation. And just like Trey Gowdy's "select committee" sideshow, what they found was a whole lotta nothin'…

…there was no deliberate wrongdoing by the Obama administration in the 2012 attack on the U.S. Consulate in Benghazi, Libya, that killed Ambassador Chris Stevens and three other Americans, said Rep. Mike Thompson of St. Helena, the second-ranking Democrat on the committee. The Clay Bennett classic. The panel voted Thursday to declassify the report, the result of two years of investigation by the committee. U.S. intelligence agencies will have to approve making the report public. Thompson said the report" confirms that no one was deliberately misled, no military assets were withheld and no stand-down order (to U.S. forces) was given."

As Joan McCarter noted at the time, Gowdy swore on a stack of Brylcreem that his committee's investigation—quoting here—"would be an objective search for facts, not a partisan attempt to smear Democrats ahead of the 2014 mid-term elections and the 2016 presidential race." And since his lips were moving at the time, naturally he was lying. Next time they gain control of the House, I'd suggest that Democrats demand a select committee investigation into the select committee's investigation, and conduct it at an appropriate venue: under a circus tent.

Have a nice Thursday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?

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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial "Over the span of a single Cheers and Jeers, Bill in Portland Maine’s addled brain raced about like a dull-witted Labrador attempting to outsmart squirrels." —Rex Huppke

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[END]
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