(C) Daily Kos
This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered.
. . . . . . . . . .



My Goats Are On The Lam [1]

['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']

Date: 2025-07-25

After my parents died I decided to buy some investment property. My goal was to not only house some of my relatives (like my cousin and brother — both I’ve written about here and here) but also help families who have a negative on their credit report that keeps them from getting good housing.

One of the properties I bought is in south Illinois. I have also wanted to keep one unit open on that property for those from red states who need women’s health care and might need to stay over. It has been an education with differing laws and expectations. Our plans have changed quite a few times, and right now I am losing money. But we are getting close to at least partially opening.

This summer has been especially rainy in southern Illinois and the property has been overgrown a few times. It has been so wet that the guy who is my property maintenance guy and who is temp property manager hasn’t been able to mow often. (For this dairy I’ll call him Raymond)

My daughter came up with the idea that we could get a couple goats to eat down the overgrowth, we could also rent them out to do the same elsewhere, maybe have some kids, sell goat milk, etc. It seemed like a good idea . . . at the time.

My daughter has been here in MA helping us get our house renovated. After almost 30 years of living here with 3 boys it needs it. I am so over picking new paint colors, new flooring to replace carpets that should have been ripped out 15 years ago, and new cabinetry as door and drawer fronts have divorced their partial board cabinets and drawers.

Four days ago she announced that she was going to have to go home earlier than planned “because there are issues.” I thought the issues were about her husband, I had no idea that it was about MY GOATS.

My goats escaped and neither Raymond or my daughter told me for 3 days!!

3 Days!

Were they going to start with “the goats are stuck on the roof,” to prepare me?

When my daughter told me the morning before she left, I was at first shocked and then decided I was going to have fun with it.

Both my daughter and Raymond thought they’d have the goats captured before I would be the wiser, but the goats have other plans.

I let Raymond know I wasn’t angry and in the spirit of having fun with this he immediately threw my daughter under the bus. “This was HER idea.”

They both told me about how Raymond had laid out apples, watermelon, carrots, etc. to entice them back. But they seem to be smarter than the humans and scrammed the moment they detected a trap.

I sent them a link for Yakety Sax and suggested that this was their “goat wrangling” theme music.

My goats have been spotted many times, someone even posted a quick vid about lost goats they spotted on Facebook.

They are fast and sneaky as hell.

My daughter arrived there this morning and they have found a wildlife trapper who will hopefully get them tomorrow.

When she texted that she had arrived, I sent her and Raymond a link for theme music

x YouTube Video

I’m having fun with it. These little fuckers. How are we going to have chickens if we can’t handle a couple goats?

My granddaughter wants to name them (both nannies) Patricia and Bartholomew. When asked why she wants to name a girl goat a boys name, the 12 year old said something about a transgendered goat.

I asked, “have you asked?”

I want to name them Henrietta and Ethel right now. I also thought about naming one Cabrito, and the other Ziegenfleisch after this escapade.

But really; Can someone just get my goat(s)!

please?

[END]
---
[1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2025/7/25/2335233/-My-Goats-Are-On-The-Lam?pm_campaign=front_page&pm_source=latest_community&pm_medium=web

Published and (C) by Daily Kos
Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified.

via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds:
gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/