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Cheers and Jeers: Rum and Coke FRIDAY! [1]
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Date: 2025-06-27
Late Night Snark: Everywhere's A War Zone Now Edition
“The U.S. on Saturday launched strikes against three Iranian nuclear sites in a surprise attack. Well, a surprise to everyone who’s not in Pete Hegseth’s text chain.” —Seth Meyers “According to a new report, Trump’s strike on Iran, known as Operation Midnight Hammer, only set the country’s nuclear program back a few months. It’s a little embarrassing. I mean, no one likes it when their midnight hammer can’t complete the mission.” —Jimmy Fallon x x YouTube Video - Diaper Diplomacy is my new favorite You Tube channel. - “I’ve never hosted a talk show before, but I will try my best. English is not my first language. So I hope you guys will help me if I get—what’s the word? Deported. According to the State Department, the number of U.S. citizens moving to Mexico is up by 70 percent. And it’s not just Mexico—people are also going to Spain, Italy, France, the Netherlands. Your main export is now yourselves.” —Mexican actor and Jimmy Kimmel Live guest host Diego Luna “In a stunning upset, democratic socialist Zohran Mamdani won the [New York City] Democratic mayoral primary. With his message, Mamdani generated excitement among minority groups and electrified younger voters, while older voters still run on diesel." —Stephen Colbert "During his concession speech, Andrew Cuomo said that Mamdani put together a great campaign and added: ‘He touched young people and inspired them and got them to come out and vote.’ Cuomo’s mistake was waiting until after he was elected to touch young people.” —Seth Meyers “How hot was it? Today in Central Park any man who tried riding the metal horses on the carousel can no longer have children.” —Jimmy Fallon
And now, our feature presentation...
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, June 27, 2025
Note: Great news! This morning's lottery was another rousing success for the community. Our thanks to the late Tessie Hutchison and the townsfolk for upholding our motto: "Lottery in June, corn be heavy soon." (And don’t skimp on that butter—ha ha ha, amiright?)
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By the Numbers:
8 days!!!
Days 'til the start of the July 4th weekend: 7
Days 'til the World's Largest Catsup Bottle Festival in Collinsville, Illinois: 8
Drop in the Consumer Confidence Index for June, as reported by the Conference Board: 98.4 to 93.0
Years since sales of new homes have been as low as they were in May: 3
The last time New York City hit 100 degrees in June, as it did Tuesday: 1966
Annual wage for a manual laborer in England during the late 1700s: $67
Age of Mel Brooks as of tomorrow: 99
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Happy summertime…
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JEERS to Mad King TACO: Destroyer of Economies. As recent as six months ago President Biden had the economy humming along and teed up to expand even further. It was a glorious moment for the United States…our economic growth was the envy of the planet. And then the new guy, who lied that the Biden economy wasn't humming along and that "Only I can fix it, and I will fix it on Day One," took the reins and anyone outside the red-hatted cult knew exactly what was coming…
The U.S. economy shrank at a 0.5% annual pace from January through March as President Donald Trump’s trade wars disrupted business, the Commerce Department reported Thursday in an unexpected deterioration of earlier estimates. The new Seal of the United States of America. The January-March drop in gross domestic product—the nation’s output of goods and services—reversed a 2.4% increase in the last three months of 2024 and marked the first time in three years that the economy contracted. Consumer spending also slowed sharply, expanding just 0.5%, down from a robust 4% in fourth-quarter 2024 and sharp downgrade from the Commerce Department's previous estimate.
I'd pelt the asshole with eggs, but they're worth more these days than my 401(k).
JEERS to disorder in the courts. If you want to get a handle on how the federal judiciary is going to operate for the foreseeable future, C&J offers this handy chart:
Conservatives pass bills that violate of the Constitution Appeals courts overturn those bills for violating the Constitution The Constitution violators appeal the appeal to the Supreme Court Six conservatives on SCOTUS approve the bills that violate the Constitution
I'm cross-stitching that onto a throw pillow for reference. And to punch a lot.
CHEERS to Ol' Shortypants. James Madison, who at 5'4" holds the distinction of being the U.S. president with the lowest center of gravity, died in Montpelier, Virginia 189 years ago today.
Also in Madison’s corner: a smokin’-hot missus.
He was the chief architect of the United States Constitution, and today he's rolling in his grave over the GOP's manhandling of it. The book Rating the Presidents (a survey of 700 historians and political analysts) sums up his legacy as one of "courageous leadership as president, guided by the principles of the Constitution, which he played so large a part in framing. All Americans owe him a great debt of gratitude."
Pay your respects here. But don't tell him how Republicans have been using his sacred founding document as toilet paper. He’s got enough problems as head of the Dead Presidents’ Condo Association. (“Dammit, Coolidge, For the last time, get your stuff out of President Polk’s storage unit.”)
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to he who is laughing last. During this week in 1520, Montezuma II was murdered as Spanish conquistadors fled the Aztec capital of Tenochtitlan. Today he gets his "revenge" by inflicting a certain embarrassing malady on tourists who visit Mexico and drink the water. Now pay attention, class:
When you're slidin' into first and you feel something burst—Diarrhea! Diarrhea! When you're slidin' into third and you lay a juicy turd—Diarrhea! Diarrhea! Oops. When you're slidin' into home and your shorts are filled with foam—Diarrhea! Diarrhea! When you're sittin’ in your Chevy and your pants are wet and heavy—Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
Look at that: history, sports, biology, and industrial engineering. At C&J, school's always in session.
CHEERS to home vegetation. Meh—it’s the middle of summer, so as far as TV goes, everything’s pretty much reruns at the moment.
Or skip the tube and order one of these from the Sears Catalog.
The MSNBC crew will be competing tonight with PBS’s Washington Week and Firing Line. (Will tonight’s guest Sen. Lisa Murkowski announce she’s becoming a Democrat? Maybe!) Oh, and tonight at 8 me and my online Enterprise crewmates are live-skeeting—via BlueSky hashtag #allstartrek —the classic episode of Star Trek (H&I network) where Kirk has to defend himself during a court martial.
The most popular movies and streamers, new and old, are all reviewed here at Rotten Tomatoes. (the latest 28 Days sequel tops the list in theaters, along with Brad Pitt’s new movie Brad Pitt Goes Real Fast In Cars And Grins A Lot). Sports schedules: MLB here and WNBA here. The U.S. Senior Open golf tourney airs tomorrow and Sunday afternoon on NBC. On 60 Minutes: encore reports on AI, drones being flown over military installations, and a profile of director Werner Herzog. And the weekend wraps up Sunday night at 11 with a fresh slab of manly man John Oliver on HBO’s Last Week Tonight.
Now here's your Sunday morning lineup:
Meet the Press: Next mayor of New York City Zohran Mamdani (D); Senators Chris Murphy (D-CT) and Markwayne Mullin (Fascist-OK). Also: this cow has opinions and intends to express them. This Week: Senator Lindsey Graham (Fascist-SC); House minority leader Rep. Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY); Former CDC Infectious Disease Expert Fiona havers, M.D. Face the Nation: Senator Mark Warner (D-VA); former FDA Commissioner Scott Gottlieb. CNN's State of the Union: Senators Mark Warner (D-VA) and Katie Britt (Fascist-AL); Rep. Chris Deluzio (D-PA ). Fox Fascism Sunday: Senators Chris Coons (D-DE) and Jim Banks (Who???) (Fascist-IN).
Happy viewing!
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Ten years ago in C&J: June 27, 2015
CHEERS to yesterday's BFD. The current Supreme Court has done some truly destructive things over the last few years, especially on voting rights and money in politics. So we deserved to put a couple wins in the liberal column, and we got 'em yesterday when the Court sided with the government on both the Fair Housing Act and the Affordable Care Act subsidies. I don’t have much to add to the avalanche of coverage, really. But I'll say this: I wish Congresswoman "Mean" Jean Schmidt was still in office so we could've gotten a sequel to her 2012 freakout when she thought the Court had (but hadn't) struck down the Obamacare mandate:
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Justice Scalia provided the comic relief this time around, adding "jiggery-pokery" to the American lexicon, and for that we thank him. For those of you who keep track of these things, that's a whopping 102-point triple-word score in Scrabble!
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And just one more…
CHEERS to the Greatest Moment in World History. I grew up with the bleeps and bloops of Atari games ringing in my ears, and to this day I see a shadow image of those iconic graphics every time I blink. Atari marked its first full day as a company 53 years ago today, and for that my inner geek thanks founder and personal Yoda Nolan Bushnell, who a couple years back mused on how far we’ve come since those early glory days, and where video games are headed:
x YouTube Video
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My first addictions on this wacky planet, besides candy cigarettes and Hogan's Heroes, were Missile Command, Battlezone, and Asteroids, each following Bushnell's formula of being "simple to learn but impossible to master." They retain their simple elegance and pulse-quickening qualities five decades later. Go ahead...click to release your inner nerd. Time spent with an Atari classic will not be deducted from your lifespan.
Have a great weekend. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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