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Think before you speak. [1]

['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']

Date: 2025-06-25

The following is a true and cautionary tale: Be careful what you say or write. You may end up regretting it.

I wish I knew where my old friend P. G. is now, I have not heard from her in years. The last time I saw her was in 1974 or '75, it's hard to remember.

When I was a junior in high school, I and three of my friends decided to go on a backpacking trip, to celebrate graduating from high school the following year. During the mean time, P.G. moved out of state with her mother and younger sister after her parents divorced.

Even with the distance we kept in touch and kept with the plan. We all earned money for the trip, and carefully got our gear together.

The trip began as planned after our graduation, though it was delayed a few weeks due to a lot of rain and one river rising. (Major roads were closed.) When we were dropped off, we were far from home, long before there were cell phones, the only group of just four young women backpacking the stretch of the AT we had chosen, which runs through Shenandoah National Park. We were out for 21 days and hiked more than 120 miles. Some days were short hikes, others were long, as we hiked from shelter to shelter. The trip left us with lasting memories.



That fall, we each went our separate ways, but stayed in touch by letter. The three of us who went home to N.J. during school breaks were able to hang out together sometimes. After 50 years, I am still in touch with two of those friends, my other friend – well, this is where I messed up. And I am ashamed that I did.



My friend who had moved out of state wrote saying she and a friend co-rented an apartment. She wrote they were being harrassed by the other tenants. “They say we're gay.”

I was in college by then, but still pretty naive. I wrote back what I thought she wanted to hear, not what I really felt. I said, “Of course you're not gay!” instead of “Who cares what they think? You are a good person, and I like you as you are, no matter what.” Which is what I felt.

I let her down. I knew it as soon as that letter was in the mail. I knew I could never take that clueless statement back.

I never heard from her again. I have tried to locate her, but haven't had much luck.

So P.G. dear friend if you are reading this, I am not sure I will ever forgive myself, even as I ask you to please forgive me. I hope you are well and happy wherever you are.

So many years... I miss you, my old friend. If you wish to and you do read this you can reach me through dkos mail.

Joan

JoanNJTN

I consider this an open thread and I will do my best to answer any comments. I do not know how to put in a tip jar. But that’s not why I wrote this anyway.

Every group in this community needs allies.

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[1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2025/6/25/2330102/-Think-before-you-speak?pm_campaign=front_page&pm_source=latest_community&pm_medium=web

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