(C) Daily Kos
This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered.
. . . . . . . . . .
Saturday Morning Garden Blogging v. 21.25: Border Security in the Backyard Garden [1]
['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']
Date: 2025-06-21
If there’s one thing I’ve learned during my tenure as President of the Backyard Garden, it’s that life is rarely as black-and-white as we would like it to be — and the same can be said of gardens. (We can agree that Bindweed is an exception to the rule here, but that’s another topic all on its own.)
On the last day of April…the 101st day after my “swearing in” as re-elected President (not to be confused with Donald Trump’s 100th day after his “swearing at” as Wannabe King), I donned garden clothes and went outside into the cold and damp weather, with the intent to clean up the mess winter left in the garden boxes. That entailed dismantling the tomato cage walls and struts, finger-raking up the leaves left by the nearby Skyscraper Maple last autumn, and pulling out the inevitable maple and oak seedlings, now that they’ve shown their first leaf sets.
Well, in short order, it got more involved.
My garden boxes are subdivided by borders around various plant plots — lettuces here (and over there), the kale and chard yards, onions, and so on — mostly via my collection of decorative edging fences and trellises. Obviously, those are not meant to keep plants out of a designated area — plants easily tunnel below and through such walls — but rather serve to visually remind me where the plot borders are, so I can identify where I purposely planted something and keep an eye out for invaders that slip through the plot borders. When cleaning up this spring, most of those fences and trellises were removed, because I considered crop rotation or trying out something new. It’s during such rearranging that my poor record on border security is revealed.
From a prior season, so you can see some of my support structures.
In this photo from a few years ago, you can see my extensive border edging collection, used to make a more orderly garden.
Clearly I need taller edgings, preferably with a mesh designed to discourage plants from sending their shoots and tendrils through to other plants’ plots. Such edgings don’t come cheap, and I expect Hubby-Across-the-Aisle will vote down my request at the next Budget Committee Meeting. But I have a fallback plan: I’ll get Mexico to pay for them!
Among the worst offenders is Oregano, which constantly sends out feelers for new territory to colonize, as well as flinging seed out into adjacent boxes to establish a presence there. I don’t cook with fresh Oregano, although I could do so if I wanted; my main reason for keeping a colony in the Garden is for feeding the visiting pollinators. But Oregano is a thug (I know this for a fact because my recently appointed Backyard Security Secretary showed me photos of Oregano leaves sporting “MS 13” tattoos), and has absolutely no respect for garden borders, spreading around and under any borders in their way. When I discovered those nefarious offshoots, after raking away their cover of rotted maple leaves, I gave orders to ICY (fingers…) to root out and deport the unwanted Oregano enclaves, sending them to an “offshore detention center” (a Rubbermaid trash can, not El Salvador.)
Update: On May 12th, I was out in the Backyard Garden again, determined to severely prune the Oregano patch. I was temporarily waylaid by discovering that I also needed to prune the Hyssop branches from last year, and then re-contain new growth within the spiral tower I’ve provided for the Hyssop community. Once that was taken care of, I turned my attention to the Oregano, lopping off the scraggly bare stems from last season, and severely pruning the growth trying to escape its plot via hanging over the garden box sides or occupying territory on top of established border walls. While engaged in rooting out such unwanted migrants, I was viciously attacked by a gang of No-see-ums; of course, I never saw ‘um coming. Along with the No-see-ums, I was bombarded by Fighter Mosquitos and bitten all over my hands. My appointed Secretary of Flying Things blamed the unanticipated attack on a radar outage caused when our system was shorted out by an uninsulated copper garden decor item. I’d had no idea that we even had a radar system, much less that exposed copper could short it out without warning. To fix that problem, I promptly fired the Secretary of Flying Things. (I tried to appoint Mister Greenjeans, a well-known TV personality and Very Smart Gardener, to the now-open position, but I’ve been told he’s no longer available.)
At center photo you can see Parsley getting out of control. And in the next box to the left, you can see the thuggish Oregano.
A more recent shot of the out of control Parsley, having taken over most of the box it was originally planted in, and in the neighboring box behind (that mound of lush greenery.)
The other problematic citizen of the Backyard is Parsley. I planted Italian Flat Leaf Parsley and Curly Parsley, both of which I do use fresh when cooking. However over the years, Curly has proven to be a hoodlum, not only driving Italian Flat Leaf out of the Garden entirely but also seeding independent colonies in neighboring boxes, which then gang up to grab space from more law-abiding citizens such as Kale and Chard. But Curly Parsley is a naturalized citizen at this point, and I don’t want to deport all of Parsley — who else will pep up the flavor of soups and salads for us? Clearly, I need to beef up Garden Border Security, though the means to do so — the meshed edgings, for example — comes at a cost as noted earlier, which Hubby A.t.A. will probably not approve.
Well, if Mexico is unwilling to cough up the pesos for better plot fencing, then my only choice will be to raise tariffs, and force other Gardens to pay for my Border Security issues.
Update May 27th: I’ve planted the rest of the plots in the garden boxes, adding another row of green beans — though I did see at least two sprouts in the prior plot, where some critter (possibly a muskrat?) was making a home — and putting in six tomato plants (3 Sweet Millions and 3 Sun Sugar) at opposite sides of the garden. More lettuce seeds sown, although the plots I sowed earlier do have sprouts coming up. I also put in more Snow Pea seeds close to the tomato supports, so they can have a place to climb, if they sprout; I think this would be the third season since I purchased the seeds originally. Three starts of Russian Red Kale in a small plot next to the Flanders Poppies plot from last year, which are popping up again. I then realized that, along with better border walls, I need a larger Golden Dome. Canada should be eager to help with those costs, considering that the Dome might also cover a substantial amount of Canadian backyard gardens. But...tough noogies, Alaskan and Hawaiian Gardeners! En-cloched Encounters of the Chard Kind: This is the nearest thing I currently have to act as a Golden Dome. Inside the “Mom’s Birthday Pot”, I planted Rainbow Chard seeds. You can see how well they’ve sprouted. It was serendipity that the cloche is a secure fit around the rim of the pot. And I STILL haven’t heard back from my letter to Claudia Sheinbaum, Presidente de Mexico, regarding my request for restitution of the cost of new border walls. What the heck is the delay? It’s been a whole month already, and I sent it Priority Mail! Don’t tell me: DeJoy is in charge of Mexico’s Post Office as well…
Welcome to all aficionados of veggies and flowers! We are a friendly community of gardeners and would love to have you join in on the conversation. Photos of your own garden are appreciated as well!
[END]
---
[1] Url:
https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2025/6/21/2321897/-Saturday-Morning-Garden-Blogging-v-21-25-Border-Security-in-the-Backyard-Garden?pm_campaign=front_page&pm_source=trending&pm_medium=web
Published and (C) by Daily Kos
Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified.
via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds:
gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/
