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A Solution for Everything -- A Satire (Sort of) [1]

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Date: 2025-06-15

A Solution for Everything

The Root of the Problem

Given the seemingly insurmountable challenges humanity faces—wars, environmental collapse, climate change, rampant inequality, the rise of authoritarianism (both religious and secular), and the proliferation of nuclear and biological weapons—it’s tempting to believe we’re doomed. But what if there’s a root cause behind it all? And what if the solution is shockingly simple?

The root cause: there are far too many men in the world.

The solution: reduce their numbers. Significantly.

Think about it. Aside from delivering sperm and contributing half a DNA strand, what essential evolutionary purpose do large numbers of men serve today? In early human societies, their main role was to protect the cave from predators (mainly other men) and hunt unpredictable, high-calorie animals—while women gathered the bulk of food, birthed children, and held the social fabric together.

But human evolution is now accelerating along technological and social lines, not biological ones. And with reproduction increasingly assisted by science, the traditional male functions are not only obsolete, they’re arguably counterproductive—especially when the thing they’re best at is protecting society from each other.

Of Earth’s eight billion people, roughly half are men. That’s far more than needed for genetic diversity, and quite possibly enough to threaten the species. A mere 1% would do, biologically speaking.

A Different Kind of Society

Science fiction author C.J. Cherryh once envisioned a society run entirely by women, with a small number of men kept in safe, supervised isolation—too unstable to be freely integrated. The result? A thriving, cooperative culture.

Male authors, unsurprisingly, often portray female-dominated societies as irrational, emotionally chaotic, or locked in vicious competition for men. (Why are women so often written by men as just slightly softer men with worse upper body strength?)

Would women, collectively, really go to war over a man? Would Greek women have launched a thousand ships to rescue Brad Pitt? Doubtful. One man can provide sperm for hundreds—no need to fight over scarce resources.

A World with Fewer Men

Imagine such a world:

Greenhouse gas emissions plummet. The male obsession with cars as identity becomes irrelevant, replaced by functional transport.

Population pressure eases. Contrary to myth, overpopulation isn’t driven primarily by maternal instinct.

Meat consumption declines. The destructive, male-driven barbecue economy gives way to more sustainable diets.

Industries like porn, beer, football, and firearms might suffer. But as losses go, that's a small price for planetary survival.

Would women devise economic systems that glorify competition over cooperation? Would “survival of the fittest” be taken as gospel, or would mutual aid—à la Kropotkin—gain greater traction?

The Myth of War as a Necessity

War is a male invention—a way to eliminate rivals, steal resources, and impress potential mates. Would women find it necessary to dress in matching uniforms and kill each other for dominance? Unlikely. Even the most militant among them would probably rather reorganize the PTA.

Consider theocratic authoritarianism. Picture Muslim women in burqas, Russian babushkas, and Irish nuns meeting on a Jerusalem street corner. Weapons drawn? Blood in the gutters? Unlikely. At worst, they’d argue, maybe shove a little, then head off to take care of more important things—like everyone else’s business.

Addressing the Objections

What about fairness to gay men? It’s a fair point—but history offers little evidence that gay men are immune to the testosterone-fueled madness of conquest (see: Alexander the Great). Some Indigenous North American cultures had a solution: gay men could live socially and spiritually as women, thereby helping reduce the testosterone surplus destabilizing society. A 10–15% hormonal reduction isn’t nothing.

Is there a single global crisis that wouldn’t be better managed by women, or at least by a less male-dominated population?

Predictable Outrage

Suggesting that women might manage society more effectively than men provokes immediate (and mostly male) outrage. But let’s be honest—men have rigged the game in their favor for the past 10,000 years.

Virtually every system of power—political, economic, religious—was designed by and for men. No divine decree mandates this. Every rationale supporting patriarchy was penned by men for male benefit.

Women are not failed men. They’re not just smaller, less hairy males burdened with childbearing. Their reproductive responsibilities kept them bound to domestic spheres, limiting access to the power structures men constructed for themselves. And while one man was enough to guard the cave entrance, the rest had time to scheme, fight, and write about how important they were.

When schools briefly shifted to cooperative, less authoritarian teaching models, boys—long used to male-friendly systems—began to fall behind. If such a small institutional change disadvantaged boys so quickly, imagine what millennia of male-centric systems did to girls.

This isn’t about whether women might be better at running the world. It’s about whether they could possibly do worse.

The Evolutionary Problem of Surplus Males

Throughout history, nature dealt with excess young males by placing them at the margins of migrating groups. There, they were either eaten by predators or started wars with other groups. As predators declined, war took over as the primary outlet.

But in the 20th century, war changed. Now it mostly kills civilians—especially women and children. Since World War II, up to 90% of war casualties have been non-combatants. What once thinned the surplus now threatens the entire species.

Unchecked, men will keep pursuing violence until there’s nothing left to destroy.

The Final Question

If war is no longer a viable solution to managing the destructive energy of surplus males—what is?

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