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Cheers and Jeers: Rum and Coke FRIDAY! [1]
['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']
Date: 2025-05-30
Late Night Snark: May 2010 Flashback
With the late-night shows mostly on hiatus during this post-Memorial Day week, C&J pries open the time capsule circa 15 years ago, when the top story was the mess caused by BP's Deepwater Horizon oil rig explosion in the Gulf of MEXICO MEXICO MEXICO TRUMP YOU PUTZ IT'S THE GULF OF MEXICO NOW AND FOREVER! Plus other assorted things:
"Oil is still leaking off the coast of Louisiana. BP—the company responsible for it—has a very good plan. BP is hoping to create a giant vinegar spill to turn the Gulf of Mexico into a delicious salad dressing." —Jimmy Kimmel "British Petroleum is starting to get defensive. Their new slogan is, "Yeah, like you never spilled anything before!'"
—Jay Leno "BP said that since the 'containment dome' failed, they may shoot debris such as shredded tires and golf balls into the well's blowout preventer in an attempt to clog up and stop the leak. Although you know what plugs up a big leak better than golf balls? Almost anything!" —Seth Meyers "Rush Limbaugh said today that the oil rig could've been deliberately sabotaged by environmentalists to make oil companies look bad. That's right—a team of hippie frogmen snuck onboard an oil rig In the Gulf of Mexico and blew it up to frame the oil companies. Rush, how many pills is your maid giving you?" —Bill Maher "At a rally this weekend, Sarah Palin said, 'We’re all Arizonans now.' At which point every immigrant in Arizona was like, 'So...we can stay?'" —Jimmy Fallon "The market was so bad today that Goldman Sachs had to lay off three congressmen." —Jay Leno "So [the thousand-point drop on Wall Street] was a 'perfect storm.' Why is it that, whenever something happens that the people who should've seen it coming didn't see it coming, it's blamed on one of these rare, once-in-a-century 'perfect storms' that for some reason takes place every fucking two weeks? I'm beginning to think these are not perfect storms. I'm beginning to think these are regular storms and we have a shitty boat."
—Jon Stewart "This is what I admire: any news organization can 'gather' news, but [Rupert] Murdoch knows how to make it a sustainable crop. You see, he plants the news in the Wall Street Journal, he fertilizes it in The New York Post, and then he harvests it on Fox News."
—Stephen Colbert
And this...
"A few weeks ago I was able to throw out the first pitch at the Nationals game. I don't know if you saw it, but I threw it a little high and a little outside. This is how Fox News covered it: President panders to extreme left-wing of batter’s box."
—President Obama at the WHCA dinner
Good times.
And now, our feature presentation...
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, May 30, 2025
Note: Due to the latest cuts by DOGE, the hearts, moons, stars and clovers in Lucky Charms cereal have been replaced with lint balls, knuckle hairs, cigarette butts and metal shavings. The nutrition content remains the same. —Corporal Mills (demoted from General by DOGE)
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9 days!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til the nationwide June 14 No Kings Protests: 16
Days 'til LA Pride: 9
The Trump administration's win rate in federal lawsuits during May: 4%
Percent of judges appointed by Republican presidents who ruled against him in May: 72%
Increase in net sales for DEI-embracing Costco in April: 7%
Percent of Costco members who renewed their memberships last year worldwide: 90%
Percent chance that ketchup was once sold as a medicine: 100%
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Friday night down at the pub…
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CHEERS to order in the courts. Fifteen percent. After all the hot air he spewed about being able to invoke the International Emergency Powers Act to impose his big, beautiful, strong, loving, and perfect tariffs—50 percent! 100 percent! 145 percent! Eleventy-billion percent!!!—we now know that President-in-Mental-Decline Trump was in error. Since there is no emergency, Commander TACO can only impose a maximum tariff of 15 percent, and only for 150 days without congressional approval. That's according to a pillar-crumbling ruling by a court Trump doesn’t even know exists (the U.S. Court of International Trade), in response to a 12-state lawsuit filed by New York Attorney General Letitia James and five small business owners. So what now? Well, pretty much what you would expect:
Wendy Cutler, a former U.S. trade official who is now vice president at the Asia Society Policy Institute, says the court's decision "throws the president’s trade policy into turmoil.” No way in hell he escapes this taunt—“Trump Always Chickens Out”—bestowed on him by none other than Wall Street financial analysts. “Partners negotiating hard during the 90-day day tariff pause period may be tempted to hold off making further concessions to the U.S. until there is more legal clarity," she said. […] For now, the trade court's ruling “destroys the Trump administration’s rationale for using federal emergency powers to impose tariffs, which oversteps congressional authority and contravenes any notion of due process,” said Eswar Prasad, professor of trade policy at Cornell University. "The ruling makes it clear that the broad tariffs imposed unilaterally by Trump represent an overreach of executive power.''
Happy weekend, everyone.
JEERS to fleeing the scene of his crimes. At this point it's anti-climactic to bother noting that Elon Musk has—as parasites are wont to do—wriggled his way out of his “host” White House, where he'd assembled a hive of frat bros, crypto bros, techno bros, and bro bros to destroy every government agency as quickly as possible while stealing every scrap of personal data on all 349 million of us. Mission accomplished! But at least he saved us a bunch of money by rooting out TWO…TRIIIIIILION DOLLARS in waste, fraud and abuse, right? Right???
Musk initially set out to cut upward of $2 trillion through the operation, a goal he later significantly walked back. Now he leaves the government with DOGE having thus far fallen well short of the trillions of dollars of savings he once touted on the campaign trail. As of Wednesday evening, the DOGE government website claimed $175 billion in savings, though its claims have been found to be questionable.
Musk will now go back to doing what he's really good at: white supremacy, impregnating anything that moves (as long as they’re white), polluting space and, most important, just being a fucking weirdo.
CHEERS to Ol' Marble Butt. 103 years ago today, on May 30, 1922—eight years after construction began and nine years after the original chocolate one melted—the Lincoln Memorial was dedicated in Washington, and immediately classed up the joint by 800 percent:
Lincoln's statue was sculpted by Daniel Chester French (1850-1931); plaster casts of Lincoln's hands and face were used to make the statue. This ain’t no Ikea kit, bub. The statue is over 3 times actual size; if the statue could stand up, it would be 28 feet tall. The murals were done by Jules Guerin. The 36 Doric columns represent the 36 states of the Union at the time of President Lincoln's death in 1865.
Honest Abe weighs an astonishing 120 tons. Of course it'd be a lot less if you tourists would quit tossing him chili dogs.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to an idea that was ahead of its time. On Sunday’s date in 1869, Thomas Edison received a patent for his mechanical voting machine. He lost money, though, because no one wanted to use it. Democrats found it too easy to hack and Republicans found it too hard to hack.
CHEERS to home vegetation. Here's some of the haps on TV this weekend, starting tonight with an MSNBC reality check by the always-compelling hosts on duty. Fox News’s lone liberal Juan Williams is the guest on Firing Line at 8:30 (PBS). CBS airs An Evening with Elton John and Brandi Carlile at 9. Or there’s always the dependable Friday The Office marathon on Comedy Central.
Finally—some pro golf worth watching.
The new movies and streamers are all reviewed here at Rotten Tomatoes. The MLB schedule is here, the NHL Stanley Cup schedule is here, the NBA finals schedule is here, the WNBA schedule is here. Or you can catch the Women’s Open Golf Tourney tomorrow and Sunday afternoon on NBC...and the 2025 Women’s College Softball World Series on ABC.
Sunday on 60 Minutes: reports on Cuban spycraft, and robots that make art. And the weekend wraps up with a steaming-hot edition of John Oliver’s Last Week Tonight (HBO) fresh from the oven.
Now here's your Sunday morning lineup:
Meet the Press: Senator Raphael Warnock (D-GA); House Speaker Mike Johnson (Fascist-LA). This Week: U.N. World Food Programme director Cindy McCain; Director of Destroying the National Economic Council Kevin Hassett; guy who now makes his living blowing up balloon animals at birthday parties Chris Christie. What every host should ask every MAGA guest. Face the Nation: Commissioner in Charge of Destroying the FDA Martin Makary; Sen. Aqua Buddha (Fascist-KY). CNN's State of the Union: Sen. Chris Murphy (D-CT); Rep. Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY); Director of Destroying the Office of Management and Budget Russ Vought; plus a very special edition of Buy Jake Tapper’s Biden Book Right Now This Second!!! Fox Fascism Sunday: Sen. Dave McCormick (Fascist-PA); Secretary of destroying the Department of Commerce Howard Lunatic; Rep. Jake Auchincloss (D-MA).
Happy viewing!
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Ten years ago in C&J: May 30, 2015
CHEERS to the best weird political ad of the season. This is some group called "America's Liberty PAC," and it released this utterly-unimprovable piece of genius to promote their guy Rand Paul's effort to kill the Patriot Act. Bonkers:
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The only way that'll be topped is if Carly Fiorina releases Demon Sheep 2. Well, assuming it's in 3D.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to hurtling through space together at 67,000 miles per hour. Today my partner Michael (aka "Common Sense Mainer" here at DK) and I celebrated another trip around the sun together. Ready for this? It’s orbit #32.
We met in Saginaw, Michigan on May 30, 1993 at a bar called Bambi’s (now shuttered and probably demolished) during Bill Clinton's fifth month in office as our 42nd president. And here we are now, with King TACO at the helm and a lot of water under the bridge. We're noticeably grayer and creakier—COPD and kidney disease (plus an emergency appendectomy last year) have knocked on his door, cancer’s knocked on mine. But we're still reasonable approximations of our younger selves if you squint hard enough, and so far we've resisted the temptation to shoo any kids off our lawn.
1993: our 1st date—Michael & me waiting for a booth at Olive Garden.
Longevity seems to boil down to a few essentials: love, shared responsibility, and accepting the fact that neither of us hears half of what the other one says. But that's okay—we're quite smooth at the art of "yupping," and we fill in the blanks by texting each other from our respective ends of the couch.
In a tradition I started a few years back, here's the annual posting of a smug snippet from "The new apostle of sanity in sex," David Reuben, M.D. Fifty-five years ago, in 1969, his mega-seller Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex But Were Afraid to Ask—a copy of which I once found in my grandparents' attic—was published and treated as gospel (in fairness, he later took a chill pill and lightened up on us):
What about all the homosexuals who live together happily for years? What about them? They are mighty rare birds among the homosexual flock. Moreover, the "happy" part remains to be seen. The bitterest argument between husband and wife is a passionate love sonnet by comparison with a dialogue between a butch and his queen. Live together? Yes. Happily? Hardly.
For the record, in our household the proper pecking order endures: the cat's the queen, the dog's the butch, and Michael and I are their humble servants. Scandalous, I know.
Have a great weekend. And best wishes and following winds to C&J splasher sfbob as he embarks Sunday on the last AIDS/LifeCycle ride. A true multi-decade fundraising hero to the event, and an inspiration to us all. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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