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The Two Cones Choice [1]

['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']

Date: 2025-05-24

These days, bashing Democrats, instead of attacking tRump, appears to be a favorite pastime of many mainstream media pundits, independent politicians, and even other Democrats. And they’re still bashing ex-Prez Joe Biden – even more so with his prostate cancer diagnosis – claiming that, “if only” the DNC, Kamala Harris, and the campaign staff had been more left, more right, more centrist, tRump would not have won the 2024 election. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: I would have voted for Elmer Fudd against Donald tRump who was/is totally incompetent to be President and should never have been allowed to run for re-election as a convicted felon and terrible human being.

(Besides, all Elmer Fudd would have done in the White House so far would be to sing “Kill Da Wabbit” over and over again without doing any damage to America – except to terrorize rabbits maybe. But Bugs Bunny would have been in the Press Corp audience asking every day “What’s Up, Doc?”)

But back to the point: So why did the majority (or plurality) of Americans vote for Agent Orange? And why did the MAGA masses also give a majority of seats in both the House and Senate to the GOP which has become a “spiney diffident” party completely enslaved to their puppet master and Furious Fuhrer?

Perhaps the answer can be found in the following analogy we’ll call the “Two Cones Choice.” Every election cycle Americans are faced with a choice between two ice cream cones: A simple wafer cone from the Democrats with a single scoop of plain yoghurt on top OR a fancy waffle cone from the Republicans with a double scoop of chocolate ice cream on top. Even though they should know better, many (if not most) US voters will choose the GOP offering which always turns out to be a cardboard cone topped by two scoops of horse excrement.

When asked why they didn’t pick the Dems’ cone, the GOP voter’s reply is “Well, you know, the Democrat’s cone is not very sweet and the yoghurt is, well, actually sour with no promise of tax cuts or regulation roll-backs and more money for kids and poor, sick, and old people.” “But,” you might ask “why did you pick the Republican cone?” The answer: “Well, you know, the waffle cone looked nicer and the promise of tax reductions, roll-backs in regulation, and cuts in welfare spending were so tempting.” “But,” you say “the waffle cone was cardboard and the ice cream on top turned out to be horse sh_t.” Their reply: “Yes, but … two scoops!”

So it goes again and again every time a GOP President and Congress is elected, the economy crashes, the national debt explodes, income inequality expands, and the bottom 90% of Americans are forced to eat sh_t and die. And yet, when this happens, Dem-bashing by pundits, politicians, and even by other Democrats begins again until the majority of Americans once more forget what a “no-brainer” the “Two Cones Choice” should be. “Yes, but … two scoops!”

Though sometimes the choice isn’t so cut-and-dried. Instead the election might be between two pieces of bread: In the “Two Breads Choice” the Dems offering is whole wheat with a drizzle of olive oil on top, while the GOP’s is a croissant saturated with honey. So you choose the Republican more attractive option until you take the first bite. Ugh! The honey turns out to be horse urine. “Yeah, the Dem’s bread would’ve been healthier. But the GOP’s looked so much nicer. And, well, at least it wasn’t full of horse sh_t this time.”

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