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Cheers and Jeers: Rum and Coke FRIDAY! [1]
['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']
Date: 2025-05-23
Late Night Snark: Big Ugly Mess Edition
"Another wildly destructive day in Washington D.C. They pulled another all-nighter in the House, where they passed Trump's 'Big Beautiful Bill.' And, man oh man, if this is the beautiful bill, I'd hate to see the ugly one. I'm not sure which part of the bill is the most beautiful: the part where we take food from hungry kids, or the devastating effect it'll have on college education, or the trillions of dollars it'll add to our national debt, or the almost 700-billion dollars in cuts to Medicaid. Either way, say goodbye to Grandma." —Jimmy Kimmel "If something is beautiful, you don’t do it after midnight." —Rep. Thomas Massie (R-KY), who voted against the bill "How weird is it that the ‘news’ is selling you a book about news they should have told you was news a year ago for free? It's just fun to watch them continue to push the book in light of this difficult news [of Joe Biden’s cancer diagnosis], but to actually frame this difficult news as even more of a reason to buy this book. … Some observers might think, do these CNN people work on commission? Like, why are they hawking this fucking thing? Is this a Girl Scout cookie situation? Whoever sells the most Tapper books gets a Schwinn?" —Jon Stewart, on CNN's disgusting 24/7 infomercial'ing of Jake Tapper's Biden hit job —Via The Daily Show “What are you doing?!! Attacking Bruce is like attacking America itself. I haven’t seen a politician be this tone deaf since Herbert Hoover’s campaign slogan: Apple Pie Sucks and So Does Your Mom!” —Stephen Colbert on TFG's late-night tweets bashing Bruce Springsteen "On his [Middle East] trip, Trump said that Iran has 'sort of' agreed to terms for a nuclear deal, in the same way Trump has 'sort of' agreed to uphold the constitution." —Michael Che, SNL "White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt said that the Qatari royal family's planned gift of a luxury jumbo jet is not a gift to President Trump but a donation to the U.S. Air Force. Which would make it our only long-range bomber that has a bidet." —Seth Meyers "Look, if Kristi Noem was just a random person on the street, I'd get if she was like, 'Habeas corpus? That's a Harry Potter spell, right?’ But the Secretary of Homeland Security should know that habeas corpus prevents the president from deporting you without due process, not that it lets the president deport you without due process. That's the opposite of what it means. I didn’t know you could have dyslexia for laws." —The Daily Show's Ronny Chieng, on Noem's failure to correctly define habeas corpus during a Senate hearing "Robert F. Kennedy Jr. was criticized for posting pictures of himself swimming in a Washington D.C. creek despite signs warning it was contaminated with raw sewage. 'Ugh, can you imagine how many parasites are in there?', said the creek." —Colin Jost, SNL
And now, our feature presentation...
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, May 23, 2025
Note: We wish you a safe, healthy, and hammock-filled holiday weekend. C&J will return on Tuesday, May 27th. Probably with an errant lawn dart or two stuck in our foot, thigh, chest, head or buttock region. Because we hate to break with tradition. —Mgt.
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By the Numbers:
6 days!!!
Days 'til the nationwide June 14 No Kings Protests: 23
Days 'til California's Beaumont Cherry Festival: 6
Number of states that have passed laws regulating/restricting student cellphone use in schools: 25
Average cost of a fast-food meal in major cities across the U.S., according to LendingTree: $11.56
Year in which Congress officially declared Waterloo, New York as the birthplace of the Memorial Day holiday: 1966
Age of honorable Congressman Gerry Connolly (D-VA) when he died this week: 75
Speed at which the tip of a 1/3-inch hour hand (kids, ask your parents) on a wristwatch travels: 0.00000275 mph
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Caution—plucking violins ahead…
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CHEERS to multitasking. As our endorphins go wild over the prospect that our first warm-weather holiday weekend is upon us, Robert Airoldi of The Morgan Hill Times offers up a few words for the occasion, reminding us that the unofficial start of summer and the festivities that come with it are secondary to the meaning of Monday’s holiday:
[A]t the heart of this holiday lies something far deeper and more solemn: the remembrance of those who made the ultimate sacrifice in service to our country. Memorial Day is, at its core, a time for collective remembrance, reflection and gratitude. In towns big and small, brave men and women left behind families, futures and familiar places to serve a cause greater than themselves. Memorial Day gives us a chance to honor those lives lost—not only through ceremonies and flag-raising traditions but by pausing to reflect on the cost of the freedoms we enjoy every day. [...] This Memorial Day, may we gather not just in celebration, but in remembrance—with hearts full of respect and gratitude for those who gave all.
And, as always, we pause to reflect on Dwight Eisenhower's famous words: "I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can, only as one who has seen its brutality, its futility, its stupidity." Me, too. Minus the living it part, but I'll take his word for it.
JEERS to GOP self-immolation. Well, they did it. By the slimmest majority possible, Republicans robbed the middle class yesterday, hauling out their legislative bulldozers to shift a massive amount of wealth up to the top 1 percent:
The bill ... would slash spending in hundreds of billions of dollars in cuts to Medicaid and the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), while rescinding a series of clean energy tax credits passed by Democrats in 2022. And it raises the debt ceiling by $4 trillion. The measure was projected Tuesday by the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office to increase the national debt by $2.3 trillion. The budget office said it would rescind health care coverage for 8.6 million people. Overall, the package is set to decrease household resources among the lowest decile of income earners by 4%, while increase household resources among the highest decile of income earners by 2% by 2033. Democrats repeatedly blasted Republicans for debating and passing the bill “under the cover of darkness,” and warned that the deep spending cuts would boot millions of Americans off the Medicaid rolls.
God only knows what else is stuck in that thing. I mean that literally. According to Speaker Mike Johnson: "There’s a lot of prayer that brought this together.” Although oddly it was Democrats who ended up invoking Jesus Christ the most. (And who knew our Savior’s middle name was Effing?)
CHEERS to the visionaries. 238 years tomorrow, the Constitutional Convention opened in Philadelphia with George Washington presiding. They came to blows over their first order of business, but after much quill-stabbing and cane-beating they finally agreed: We hereby resolve that Cheesesteak shall not be considered Cheesesteak without Cheez Whiz. It was mostly smooth sailing from there.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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x George came George saw George Wendt 💜 — Dermot Ward (@chizmund.bsky.social) 2025-05-20T22:31:14.310Z
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to Monsters of Mass Deception. On May 24, 1933 the Loch Ness Monster was "sighted" for the first time. For 92 years no one has ever been able to provide definitive proof that it actually exists. It’s like the Republican ability to govern of sea monsters.
CHEERS to home vegetation. Here's some of the haps on TV this weekend, starting tonight with a pre-Memorial Day MSNBC reality check by the prime time hosts, or you can join me at 8 on the H&I Network for live-skeeting (at #allstartrek) of the classic Star Trek episode Whom Gods Destroy. At 8:30, Dr. fei-Fei Li talks about the many thorny ethical issues surrounding artificial intelligence on PBS’s Firing Line.
Trust me. Karl Rove says that when all the votes are counted in Ohio, the Celtics will come out on top.
The new movies and streamers (led this weekend by Mission Impossible LCXVIII) are all reviewed here at Rotten Tomatoes. The MLB schedule is here, the NHL semi-final schedule is here, the WNBA schedule is here, and the NBA finals schedule is here (Go Boston woo woo woo). Or you can catch the Indy 200 (the Big Beautiful Bill Act that passed the House yesterday cuts 300 laps from it) Sunday starting at 12:30 on Fox. And tomorrow and Sunday NBC airs the final rounds of the Senior Open golf tournament (Go, ghost of Ben Hogan woo woo woo).
Sunday on 60 Minutes: reports on our military’s special ops training, and what to do with all the toxic ash left by the California wildfires. The National Memorial Day Concert airs Sunday at 8 on PBS. And beyond that you should just go outside and tiptoe through the tulips.
Now here's your Sunday morning lineup:
Meet the Press: Former Surgeon General (not the current one who believes all surgeries should be performed with a rusty bone saw) Vivek Murthy; former congressman Patrick Kennedy (D-RI); Professor Arthur Brooks. This Week: TBA Face the Nation: Elderly killer/Children starver Mike Johnson (MAGA-LA); Executive Director of the United Nations World Food Programme Cindy McCain; Rep. Jim Himes (D-CT). CNN's State of Jake Tapper’s Book Sales: Speaker Mike Johnson (MAGA-LA) informs America that the budget bill includes a FREE COPY OF JAKE TAPPER’S BIDEN BOOK!!! Senators Ron Johnson (Fascist-Moscow) and Michael Bennet (D-CO) are asked about the budget bill, international issues, and JAKE TAPPER’S BIDEN BOOK!!! Fox Fascism Sunday: Mike f*cking Johnson; Sen. Rand Paul (MAGA-KY); Alex Thompson the CO-AUTHOR OF JAKE TAPPER’S BIDEN BOOK BUY IT BUY IT NOW!!!
Happy viewing!
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Ten years ago in C&J: May 23, 2015
JEERS to boom time. The usual 70s-era cleanup operations are underway off the California coast to deal with another disaster that the oil industry always tells us "won’t happen again" while they're cleaning up from the previous disaster. Today the Pacific is home to 105,000 (revised up from 22,000) unwanted gallons of black gold:
The rupture on an 11-mile-long underground pipe, part of a larger oil transport network centered in Kern County, was first reported about noon Tuesday after a woman at Refugio State Beach in Goleta smelled the crude’s noxious fumes. … The cause of the break in the pipeline had not yet been determined, officials said. They were still trying to assess the environmental damage, which sent oil onto area beaches.
Of course, the big concern is what this will do to the wildlife in that area. So, using their cutting-edge technology, the fine folks at Plains All American Pipeline took immediate steps by posting flyers on telephone poles urging marine life to steer clear of the oil spill.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to doing the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs. Tomorrow is a high holy day for Planet Earth: the 48th anniversary of the release of Star Wars, a movie that had me square in its demographic sights (I was 13 in '77) and hot-wired my brain for the duration of my life.
But enough about Republican cocaine orgies...
First time I saw it I was on a school field trip in (then-West) Berlin, Germany, and I have to say Darth Vader was scarier when he was speaking German ("Gibt mir die plane, Mädchen, oder Ich will in deine kopf das kopfmitteldammer uberungenscheide gefurhen Schweinhund!!").
It's estimated that over $43 billion has been spent on Star Wars merchandise, and I believe I have half of that in the attic. And now we're in a renaissance of streaming spinoffs like the sublime Andor that embrace the roots and gritty feel of the original that was nominated for 11 Oscars and won seven. As long as they keep pumpin' 'em out, I'll always be 13, as evidenced by the thought that just popped into my head: May the booger balls be with you.
Have a great weekend. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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