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MAGA Reality TV: I-Want-To-Be-An-American Gladiators [1]
['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']
Date: 2025-05-16
Kristi Noem is backing reality TV show where immigrants compete for fast-tracked citizenship
This is not an article from The Onion. I wish that it was.
Kristi Noem and the Department of Homeland Security have been working with Rob Worsoff, a former producer of Duck Dynasty, on a reality TV show to be called The American, in which immigrants would compete “for the honor of fast-tracking their way to U.S. citizenship.” Events would include American regional “cultural” events like log rolling in Wisconsin, clam digging in Maine, whitewater rafting in Colorado, mining for gold in California, building a Model T in Detroit, and building and launching a rocket in Florida. Officials from the U.S. Immigration and Citizenship Services would tally the votes. At each stop, the contestants would interact with locals to learn more about the history and culture of each region while revealing their own life stories and telling why they want to become Americans.
The contestants would arrive at Ellis Island on a boat called the Citizen Ship where they would be greeted by the show’s host, a famous naturalized citizen who would present them with the gift of a baseball glove. (Worsoff mentioned Sofia Vergara, Ryan Reynolds, and Mila Kunis as possible hosts. I have a hard time envisioning any of them participating in this show.) Contestants would then travel on a train called The American to the various event venues. The live finale would feature the train stopping at Washington, DC, where the winner would walk to the Capitol for the swearing-in ceremony. (You can guess who will do the swearing-in.) Individual game winners would include such “iconically American” prizes as a million American Airlines miles, a $10,000 Starbucks gift card, and a lifetime supply of 76 gas.
Worsoff, who is Canadian, says: “I am merely trying to make a show that celebrates the immigration process, celebrate what it means to be American and have a national conversation about what it means to be American, through the eyes of the people who want it most.” Noem is trying to get the project greenlit through Netflix or another cable or streaming service. (Fox’s new streaming service sounds like a good bet.)
This story was originally reported in the Daily Mail, but has been picked up by the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and CNN, among others.
I can’t begin to describe how disgusting this idea is, or the fact that DHS seems wholeheartedly in favor of it. The only good thing about it is that the show may distract them from more inhumane ICE raids. At least, we’ve made some progress in the last 2,000 years. Roman slaves battled to the death in gladiatorial contests, while American slaves engaged in prize fights that their masters bet on. I guess log rolling and clam-digging for citizenship are an improvement.
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