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Everything Trump, All at Once: The Collapse of a One-man Multiverse. [1]
['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']
Date: 2025-05-06
If Michelle Yeoh taught us anything (in the movie, “Everything, Everywhere, All at Once”), it’s that one woman scattered across infinite versions of herself can still save a broken world. If Donald Trump has taught us anything, it’s that one man scattered across infinite versions of himself can’t even save a press conference.
America is now governed not by a president but by a collapsing multiverse of a man — each version loud, aggrieved, poorly tailored, and all convinced they alone are chosen. And in a tragic twist of cosmic casting, we elected the least interesting variant.
In one timeline, he’s the billionaire savior with gold-plated everything and 34 felony convictions. In another, he’s a courtroom martyr who believes the Constitution is a loyalty program he can cancel at will. Elsewhere still, he’s a Truth Social prophet of truth who can’t spell subpoena but can retweet a deepfake of himself as Pope, Messiah, or Maverick.
And somehow, it’s all happening at once — all Trumps, everywhere, with no editorial oversight.
Welcome to the Trumpverse
The Trump presidency (Version 2.0) doesn’t have a central ideology. It has a content strategy. Rather than lead in real time, he governs across split timelines:
One part fascist LARP
One part Fox News fanfic
One part Vatican cosplay
And twelve parts reruns of his grievances, now remastered in 4K delusion
No other president has needed to be so many things simultaneously to mean so little consistently. He is a businessman who never reads contracts, a patriot who ducked service, and a faux Christian who quotes “Two Corinthians” like he’s ordering off a Greek menu.
In each version of Trump, we are promised the restoration of greatness.
In every outcome, we receive the same collapsing timeline: courts, chaos, failed commerce strategy, and coded bigotry.
When the Past Becomes the Future
Here’s the problem with running a multiverse on nostalgia: none of it works forward.
Trump isn’t leading us into the future — he’s dragging us backward across alternate histories of what he believes America should have been. Every timeline is a reboot. Every policy is a revenge arc. Every Cabinet pick is a loyalty test disguised as a staff meeting.
In Everything Everywhere All at Once, Yeoh’s character ultimately gains clarity through connection. Trump gains only more Trump — louder, angrier, and more disconnected from the Constitution each time.
Even his supporters can’t keep up. Are they following Trump, the business icon? Trump the victim? Trump the pope? Or Trump, the time-traveling anti-woke gladiator defending statues from socialist bans?
It doesn’t matter. Every version is canon.
The Cabinet of the Multiverse
In one dimension, Lincoln assembled a Team of Rivals to unify the nation.
In Trump’s multiverse, we get a Team of Echoes drawn from alternate timelines where competence was traded for charisma, and loyalty to the country was replaced by loyalty to the Trump brand.
Behold: The Cabinet of the Trumpverse —
Secretary of Gold Toilets – For gilded infrastructure projects that are big, bold, and fully unplumbed.
Ambassador to QAnon – Credentials include Discord moderation and posting frequency.
Chief Historian of Alternative Facts – No degrees, but lots of feelings.
Press Secretary of Covfefe – Answers questions with riddles, tweets, and performative indignation.
Surgeon General of Hydroxychloroquine – Previously seen hosting infomercials on Newsmax.
Energy Secretary of Rage Tweets – Powers the grid with resentment and 2 a.m. truth bombs.
Attorney General of Selective Justice – Primarily investigates pronouns and librarians.
National Archivist of Deleted Emails – Appointed to ensure no actual history interferes with the brand.
The result? A presidential administration that’s less House of Cards and more franchise crossover event — where reality bends to accommodate the plotline, not the public.
The Collapse Is the Point
It would be comforting to believe that this is all performance and that Trump is merely playing roles for effect. But it’s worse than that.
This inanity is how he governs now: fractured, chaotic, and cosmically unaccountable.
His public persona isn’t just exaggerated — it’s quantum.
Convicted in one court, fundraising in another
Pope in one tweet, victim in another
Worshipped by evangelicals in South Carolina and mocked by AI bots in Slovenia
Each Trump promises a version of America that used to be great.
None of them know how to fix the one we have.
Final Credits
Michelle Yeoh’s multiverse had a mother, a daughter, and a bagel of oblivion. Ours has a convicted, re-elected president, a podcasting son, and a spiral of delusion made real through votes, algorithms, and gerrymandered despair.
The real tragedy isn’t that we’ve elected Trump again.
We’ve accepted all versions of him, and none are tethered to responsibility, humility, or truth.
He is the Supreme Court whisperer, the Justice Department stalker, the Twitter/X preacher, and the gold-plated ghost of his greatness.
He is Everything Trump, All at Once.
And if America doesn’t learn to close a few timelines, we’re going to lose the one where democracy still has a chance.
~Dunneagin~
PS Which Trump do you think showed up today — the snake oil salesman, the strongman, or the spiritual leader of grievance? Drop your take in the comments. All timelines are welcome.
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