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Without the insults please! [1]

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Date: 2025-05-05

The other day I was watching some clip or other, where a person was saying “I don’t know how to talk to marginalized groups anymore, it’s soooo hard”. This is not the first person I see / hear mentioning this, so… this entry came to life (I’ve already addressed some of this in a previous entry).

Language evolves (shocker) what was once acceptable isn’t and vice versa. There was a time that saying FU in front of children or in “good company” was viewed as vulgar. Today hell it’s in songs and even children say it without a second thought (mostly), I know I’ve had to remind my Giant 14-year-old that I’m not one of his friends numerous times (I haven’t evolved to that point yet).

But we are not talking about FU’s here, we are mostly going to address the use of slurs that derive from demographics and physical appearances. Like the N word, the R word, like insane and the F word, and the C word (which by the way doesn’t become more acceptable via see you next Tuesday). These are words which a lot of people feel it’s fine to use as long as the ones they are using it against doesn’t fall into that category. But more and more they are finding out that; we ain’t okay with that.

There are plenty of insults (because that’s mostly the crux of the matter here) that one can use that are demo-free! I find that once removed from someone’s personal repertoire of slurs and insults, like magic people tend also not to use said words in conversations! Win-Win!

My take has been, if I wouldn’t say it to someone with that trait or from that demographic, I shouldn’t say it at all (those who know me know I say the same about jokes that target groups). This makes it easier to stop using those words too. For that matter, I don’t condone the use of slurs that target white people either, even if they don’t have the years the other slurs do and the cultural weight. It’s about me not about them. Just like due process, either one believes in something, or one doesn’t.

Personally, I like the old-fashioned insults, like nincompoop, doofus, some prefer the POS and MF’s… the trick is to pick out words that do not insult a demographic and do not use someone’s looks or disabilities as a negative thing (like the R word. Is it easy? Nope, habits are hard to break. But that’s not an excuse not to shed them.

Why is it important? Because that’s how stereotypes are created or maintained, by linking certain negative behaviors or attitudes to certain groups of people.

There are also phrases that one should not use towards certain groups, and that’s not because the phrase in itself is problematic, but it becomes problematic when it is used almost exclusively when talking to a person of said group or when talking about the group. Like the famous “you’re so articulate” when talking about Black folks.

#TheAmericanHaitianPoet

#Woke #SocialPoetry

paypal.me/murielvieux to help Haitians families 10$ x donors can go a long way.

#ThePoet - Muriel Vieux – May 5th, 2025, ©All rights reserved

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