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Life trauma you don't care about [1]
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Date: 2025-04-26
My dad disappeared from my life when I was 14 or 15.
He would have gotten kicked out earlier, the first time cheated on my mom, but the lawyer she hired told her that she couldn’t divorce him because he hadn’t beat her. (Yay, Christianity!)
We tried to stay in touch over the years after they finally split up, but we didn’t really have a lot in common, and we didn’t really get back together until he was dying from cancer. He spent most of that end time watching old Westerns.
I did get to watch him die. I guess that was something. It’s pretty awful.
And then I got shuffled to the middle of his funeral. I didn’t realize that, as his oldest son, I probably should have been somewhere near the front.
The preacher spent a long time explaining how I will never be able to experience a moment of joy because I don’t experience the unity with Jesus. Or some shit like that which tells me that I’ll never have a happy moment in my life because I don’t buy into whichever brand of bullshit he was selling.
That was one of the more miserable experiences of my life.
When my kid goes to my funeral, I really hope that he gets to have a fun memory that’s about good stuff we did together.
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