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Cheers and Jeers: Wednesday [1]
['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']
Date: 2025-04-23
Previews of Coming Attractions
Via The Daily Show, it’s time to pop some popcorn and settle in for all your old-and-improved MAGA-friendly celluloid classics:
x The Trump-approved Whiterion Collection: your favorite films minus the DEI! — The Daily Show (@thedailyshow.com) 2025-04-21T16:35:14.878Z
Coming soon: you won’t believe what they’ve done with the flicks in black and white.
And now, our feature presentation...
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, April 23, 2025
Note: If you see Pete Hegseth in the unemployment line some day soon, give him a wide berth. For some reason he falls down a lot.
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By the Numbers:
3 days!!!
Days 'til summer: 58
Days 'til the North Carolina Pickle Festival in Mt. Olive: 3
Estimated drop in existing home sales between February and March: 4.7%
Year-over-year increase in air travel: 1%
Years since the dollar dropped as low as it did Monday: 3
Current "fresh" rating on Rotten Tomatoes for the 2nd season of the Star Wars spinoff Andor: 98%
Rank of Alexander Graham Bell's patent #174,465 (for the telephone) among the most valuable patents ever granted: #1
Percent chance that Samuel Alito has the emotional intelligence of a two-year old brat: 100%
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Mid-week Rapture Index: 185 (including 4 apostasies and 1 dumbass loser at love). Soul Protection Factor 12 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Olive gets a new sister…
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CHEERS to Billeh's Wednesday Tariff Update. Oh, boy! Today we've got an update for ya on Trump's reshaping of the economic order that's as big as THE ENTIRE WORLD! Yes indeed, we are headed for the bestest of great times and… Well, let's terminate the suspense and get right to it:
The outlooks for the U.S. and global economies have significantly worsened in the wake of President Donald Trump's tariffs and the uncertainty they have created, the International Monetary Fund said Tuesday. FYI: all my updates are delivered through this old-timey mic. The IMF said that the global economy will grow just 2.8% this year, down from its forecast in January of 3.3%, according to its latest World Economic Outlook. […] U.S. economic growth will come in at just 1.8% this year, down sharply from its previous forecast of 2.7% and a full percentage point below its 2024 expansion. […] The forecasts are largely in line with many private-sector economists' expectations, though some do fear a recession is increasingly likely.
Well, good golly, what can we say? You're welcome, world. You’re welcome.
JEERS to facepalm-worthy notices. Now showing up on utility poles and milk cartons throughout the land:
STOLEN! 1 Purse Contents: Passport, ID, $3,000 cash, keys, dead dog, fistfuls of random pills Weight: 22 lbs. Have you seen me? Last seen: Sunday night at a DC restaurant Owner: Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem, who “oversees a department that is charged with securing the nation’s borders and its homeland, and is protected by Secret Service agents.” If found, please deposit in any mailbox. Return postage guaranteed.* - * Unless DOGE has already dismantled the USPS. In that case, just keep it.
Somebody go check the cubbyhole under the settee in Ivanka’s breakfast nook. I have a feeling.
CHEERS and JEERS to "Ten-Cent Jimmy." Happy 234th Birthday to that old stuffed shirt James Buchanan. In practice, he was a stuck-up, hanky-sniffing, slavery-enabling disaster as president. But on paper, his resume was pretty impressive:
Mr. Sunshine. • United States Minister to the United Kingdom • 17th Secretary of State • United States Senator from Pennsylvania • U.S. Minister to Russia • Member of the House of Representatives (PA-04: 4 terms, PA-03: 1 term) • Chairman of the House Judiciary Committee
This year we got the 15th POTUS a special gift: an official elevation in rank on the presidential ratings list, moving up to #44, just above #45/#47—disgraced, twice-impeached Donald Trump. Plus, of course, the usual "I Diddled While the Country Teetered on the Brink of Civil War and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt" t-shirt.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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JEERS to getting emphysema at 35,000 feet. My mom was a smoker, and I'll never forget flying with my parents and having to sit at the back of the plane because that was where the smokers sat so they wouldn't "bother" the non-smokers sitting in front of them. Uh huh, sure:
Those poor flight attendants.
What were we thinking?!! Thankfully the ban on airborne puffery went into effect 37 years ago today. So now all we have to worry about is doors popping open, engines blowing apart, increases in climate-change-related turbulence, catching a lung-incapacitating virus, militant Christian gospel belchers, red-hatted anti-maskers, seat kickers and baby screamers. In other words: God bless Amtrak.
CHEERS to the calm before the storms. A couple weeks back we highlighted for-profit weather forecasting company AccuWeather's wild Atlantic hurricane season predictions: 13-18 named storms—3 sponsored by Nabisco, 5 sponsored by Nike, and the rest sponsored by various drugs you should ask your doctor if they're right for you because YES, YES, YES THEY ARE EAT LOTS OF THEM AND COME BACK FOR MORE!!! Now, with just 39 days to go, the meteorological elves at Colorado State University are out with their 2025 forecast. They're predicting a less active year than last: 17 named storms and 9 hurricanes...four of them major. But more important, check now to see if your name is on the 2025 storm list:
Andrea, Barry, Chantal, Dexter, Erin, Fernand, Gabrielle, Humberto, Imelda, Jerry, Karen, Lorenzo, Melissa, Nestor, Olga, Pablo, Rebekah, Sebastien, Tanya, Van, Wendy
And as I warned you earlier this month: if a hurricane with your name on it causes any damage, it's up to you to pay for it. Don’t blame me, I don’t make the rules, I just—[pats baseball bat]—enforce ‘em.
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Ten years ago in C&J: April 23, 2015
CHEERS to following by example. I'm not a religious person, really. Lapsed Episcopalian is the best I can do. But I remember from my Sunday school days—okay, okay, more like the Google search I did two minutes ago—that a certain St. Matthew once said that "If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles." Yesterday a photo was released of the Boston Marathon bomber giving a middle-finger salute from his jail cell. So, following Matthew's example, I responded by giving him two.
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And just one more…
JEERS to looking ahead. Let's take a reluctant but necessary peek into our crystal ball to see what we're in for in this country as spring continues to unfold. All I can tell you is it's going to be insufferable. Insufferable and loud. Insufferable and loud and chaotic and maddening and, if we're not careful, highly damaging to our great land as the two sides go at it with robotic, take-no-prisoners ferocity:
Brood XIV, the latest group of buzzing cicadas, are emerging this spring. This time, billions of them will hit in at least 12 states, experts say. … “Moo.” Brood XIV is one of 15 broods of periodical cicadas that emerge every 13 or 17 years, reported the Cincinnati Enquirer, part of the USA TODAY network. Based on past behaviors, the group is likely making its appearance in Georgia, Kentucky, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Tennessee, Virginia and West Virginia, and in nine southern counties in Indiana, said Gene Kritsky, founder of Cicada Safari, a group that gathers data on the insects.
But if we’re lucky, they’ll drown out the bellowing coming from the Oval Office.
Have a happy humpday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial "A person who thinks only about building walls, wherever they may be, and not building Cheers and Jeers kiddie pools, is not Christian." —The Late Pope Francis
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[END]
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