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Raising Nate part 1 of a mother's journey [1]

['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']

Date: 2025-04-22

I was but 13, when I learned I would never have children, it was my first visit to an OBGYN, and I had been bleeding for approximately 6 months (not a lot). Of course, I wasn’t told directly, but I overheard it. At the time, I did not take this tragically I was 13, but then again at 16 in another visit, I was told “it would be difficult, for me to get pregnant”, then again at 22. Over the years I learned to live with this reality and lavished my motherly instincts on the children of those around me.

I was 44, when meat and coffee started smelling like rotting corpses to me, again I was bleeding for weeks, I had pains and headaches and thought I had some form of cancer, because I had once read an article linking changes in smell to cancer. A friend of mine whom I was asking to take me to the ER said… I think you’re pregnant, she knew my history so I did not take kindly to the comment, but she drove me to her OBGYN (coincidentally turned out to be the one I saw at 16) instead of the ER and I sullenly sat through questions, and finally a sonogram… he put the gel on my stomach, touched the wand to it… and my life changed forever. I was already around 12 weeks pregnant so there was no mistaking the shape we saw on the monitor, even the OBGYN was silent for a good 2 minutes.

I was a high-risk pregnancy of course I was 44 after all. My blood pressure started playing tricks on me, I developed gestational diabetes, and my heart rate ran faster than the flash. But every Dr’s visit, every bad news meant nothing to me, for despite all these diagnostics I felt fine. So, I took the meds, changed my diet and walked on clouds.

At 36 weeks, the baby stopped growing and I was scheduled for an emergency delivery. The night I entered the hospital I went to the bathroom and blood started running down my legs, I was horrified. I was told to lay down through the whole night my friend kept changing the pot put under me to collect the blood. We stayed awake all night. The next day, they performed the C-Section I was told my heart stopped once, and that at another time I was humming a melody. Even under after dying I’m weird.

On March 29th, 2011, at 8:15 AM, Nate was pulled out, he weighed 5lbs and thus my journey to #RaisingNate began.

Ps. 3 days after I was back at the hospital with Post Eclampsia with a BP of 220/170, which was thankfully resolved in 2 days.

Muriel Vieux

#TheAmericanHaitianPoet

October 28th, 2023

#Woke #SocialPoetry

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