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How To Talk About Autism [1]

['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']

Date: 2025-04-22

Since RFKjr has put a spotlight on autism, and it's Autism Acceptance Month anyway, here's some guidance on how to talk about autism and Autistic people. Now I'm just one Autistic person giving my opinion here, but I'm doing my best to represent my community's norms. However, if an Autistic person prefers something other than what I recommend, it's probably best to go with their preference, because the goal is to respect autistic people, not adherence to guidelines.

Before I get into the details, I have to say that it's important not to infantilize or pathologize Autistic people. We're fully human, and more than the sum of our diagnoses or impairments. Often autistic traits are pathologized, and things that are just fine are seen as impairments just because we diverge from the social norm. Talking about Autistic people like we’re all children without agency or theory of mind is not cool. Often Autistic people have other intellectual disabilities, and most of us have some kind of PTSD from growing up in a world that is hostile to us, so it can be hard to tell what’s going on with a particular person. And some of us can mask and fit into neurotypical-standard society so well that you may not ever notice they’re Autistic. But all of us are still people and deserve to be talked about with the usual respect given to any person.

IFL vs PFL

Default to saying "autistic person" over "person with autism". The majority of autistic people prefer Identity First Language over Person First Language. PFL literally puts the word "person" first, as in "person with autism". IFL puts identity first, as in "autistic person". There are no absolutes, so if an autistic individual prefers PFL, that's fine and it should be respected, but since most of us prefer IFL, that's usually the better choice.

IFL vs PFL may seem like a minor point of semantics, but to many of us it is significant. The thing is that I don't have autism, just like I don't have homosexuality or right-handedness. I am autistic, just like how I am gay and right-handed. Autism isn't a thing I have, it's a fundamental, integral part of me, same as other parts of my identity. This matters a lot, because if you think autism is something one has, then it can be separated from the person, so they could be cured of it, or it could be prevented through eugenics.

I don't have autism. I am autistic. (But language is inherently awkward and inconsistent, so sometimes I find myself saying I have autism to make a sentence flow better.)

Capitalized Autistic vs uncapitallized autistic

You may know that some groups use capitalized adjectives to refer to their communities, like Black people and Deaf people. Same thing goes with Autistic people. The uncapitalized "autistic" adjective is generic for things like autistic traits or autistic masking, but use a capitalized "Autistic" for persons and similar, just like you would for "Black" or "Deaf". (This one is still just catching on and it's almost not worth mentioning, but hey I'm Autistic so you get the full infodump here. I’m not very consistent about this myself, but I’m trying.)

Eschew Euphemisms and Medical Language

Saying someone is "on the spectrum" is a euphemism, and medical language too. Calling someone "aspie" or saying they have Asperger's is outdated medical language. Usually it's fine to just call us Autistic people. (We have our own cutesie names for ourselves, like auts or neurospicy, but, like any slang, you need to understand how they should be used.) And as always, some people may use those terms about themselves, and that's fine for them and we should respect their preferences. Some people are old enough to have gotten an Asperger's diagnosis before that was merged into ASD, and that's what they are used to, and I don't feel the need to make them change their language if that's uncomfortable for them.

Speaking of ASD, that term literally means Autism Spectrum Disorder as described in the DSM. Many of us dislike being equated to a disorder instead of a neurotype. And the neurodiversity movement says that autism is a naturally occurring neurotype, not simply a disorder.

And please, please, please, don't describe me as suffering with autism. I suffer from people treating me badly because I'm Autistic, not from being Autistic. And yes, I consider myself disabled because I'm Autistic.

Beware of using terms like high-functioning, severe autism, or even high-support-needs. These terms pathologize autism, and can do real harm to Autistic people. Many Autistic people who you might think are high-functioning or have mild autism or low support needs can appear quite different in a different situation or at a different time. We like to say that being low-functioning means you don't get any agency and being high-functioning means you don't get any support. Either way we lose. I have days when I can deliver a lecture to hundreds of people, and others where I can't make myself answer the phone. And it’s not under my control what kind of day I get to have.

Oh yes, almost forgot, we prefer non-speaking to non-verbal.

non-verbal : without language

: without language non-speaking: doesn't speak, but may use language in other modes or with assistive devices

And btw, NVLD or Non-Verbal Learning Disorder is a learning disorder that is not verbal. It's a confusing term but makes sense if you unpack it. It's about visual and spacial information processing, not about being non-verbal.

Autistic people are famously literal in our use of language. Don't be shocked we like to call ourselves autistic people and avoid euphemisms.

Neurowhatever

neurotype : short for neurological type, like autistic, ADHD, OCD, dyslexic, etc.

: short for neurological type, like autistic, ADHD, OCD, dyslexic, etc. neurotypical (NT): describes the most common cognitive neurotype (what that exactly means, nobody knows), considered the baseline from which other neurotypes diverge.

(NT): describes the most common cognitive neurotype (what that exactly means, nobody knows), considered the baseline from which other neurotypes diverge. neurodiverse (ND): describes a population that includes a diversity of neurotypes.

(ND): describes a that includes a diversity of neurotypes. neurodivergent (also ND): describes an individual that is not neurotypical. Not a synonym for autistic, as it includes other neurotypes like ADHD, dyslexia, etc.

(also ND): describes an that is not neurotypical. Not a synonym for autistic, as it includes other neurotypes like ADHD, dyslexia, etc. neuro-atypical: I don't know why anyone uses this word, but I assume some people think saying neurodivergent is insulting so they reach for a euphemism. There seems to be a mistaken understanding that this word means a difference in neurotype while "neurodivergent" means it's a disorder, but that's just wrong. Probably best to avoid this word entirely.

Populations are diverse, while individuals are divergent. Yes, it's confusing that both neurodiverse and neurodivergent have the same abbreviation, ND, but it's usually not too hard to sort that out from context.

For a deep dive on this terminology and more on the Neurodiversity Movement, I recommend this piece by Dr Nick Walker: NEURODIVERSITY: SOME BASIC TERMS & DEFINITIONS

et cetera

We auts often have to talk about people who are not autistic.

neurotypical : the assumed baseline normal neurotype

: the assumed baseline normal neurotype allistic: not autistic

Note that someone can be allistic but ND in some other way, like ADHD, and that means they aren't neurotypical. Allistic and neurotypical are not synonyms.

autistic community : people who are actually autistic

: people who are actually autistic autism community: people who are involved with autism – relatives, caregivers, researchers, etc

Autism Spectrum: It's not a linear scale of how autistic one is, like from 0 to 10. A spectrum means you can break a thing down into its components, which may vary, just like white light can be broken down into a spectrum of its component colors. One autistic person may be non-speaking and have sensory processing issues and stim a lot, while another may be hyperlexic with a lot of social awkwardness and also stim a lot. Not everyone is on the autism spectrum, only autistic people, and we have a lot of variety in how we are autistic.

An autistic meltdown is not a temper tantrum or a form of acting out. It is an involuntary reaction to sensory overload or other kinds of excessive distress. A key difference is that a tantrum is thrown for an audience, but a meltdown happens whether or not someone is watching, much like a panic attack. And like a panic attack, a meltdown is not a teachable moment or opportunity to give advice.

#ActuallyAutistic - on social media, the ActuallyAutistic hashtag indicates the person posting with that hashtag is autistic. It doesn't mean anything about whether someone has a medical diagnosis, or if they are autistic "enough" to qualify. It's simply how we can identify our own posts so we can talk among ourselves without allistic people talking over us, which happens a lot, so we really need a way to distinguish when we are talking. Unless you are autistic yourself (or think you might be), don't use this hashtag, even if you think it's for a good reason. (You can usually use #AskingAutistics if you want to ask a question of autistic people.)

Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) - This should probably be called Autism Conversion Therapy, as it's the same thing as gay conversion therapy but for Autistic kids, invented by the same people even. Generally despised by the Autistic community as a way to torture Autistic kids into forcing themselves to behave normal for the convenience and comfort of other people.

Concepts Worth Understanding

And finally, some key concepts for you to explore if you're interested:

Double Empathy Problem : A model proposed by Autistic researcher Damien Milton that describes autistic/allistic communication issues as a mismatch between different communication styles instead of an inherent deficiency of autistic communication.

: A model proposed by Autistic researcher Damien Milton that describes autistic/allistic communication issues as a mismatch between different communication styles instead of an inherent deficiency of autistic communication. Monotropism : a theory for how autism works proposed by Dinah Murray and Wenn Lawson, related to intensity and constancy of focus.

: a theory for how autism works proposed by Dinah Murray and Wenn Lawson, related to intensity and constancy of focus. Social Model of Disability : the idea that people are not disabled by a medical condition, but are disabled by lack of pervasive supports in society for that condition. Everyone who needs eyeglasses would be disabled if eyeglasses weren't readily available, but since eyeglasses are available, most vision impairment is not considered disabling in our society. But left-handed people can be disabled if they live in a society that only provides access to right-handed tools.

: the idea that people are not disabled by a medical condition, but are disabled by lack of pervasive supports in society for that condition. Everyone who needs eyeglasses would be disabled if eyeglasses weren't readily available, but since eyeglasses are available, most vision impairment is not considered disabling in our society. But left-handed people can be disabled if they live in a society that only provides access to right-handed tools. Self-assessment is valid: Self-assessment (AKA self-diagnosis) is accepted as valid in the Autistic community, for many reasons. Getting an official diagnosis is expensive, provides little or nothing for most Autistic adults, and can even be dangerous (especially in these fraught times full of fascist eugenics and people making lists of undesirables). It's also sometimes difficult to get diagnosed correctly, because most psychologists don't actually know how to recognize autism. So we usually just accept when people say they are Autistic, just like we accept when people self-identify as gay, bi, or trans. (There is some controversy over people like Elon Musk who has claimed to have an Asperger’s diagnosis, but he’s such a big liar it’s hard to know what to believe, and he only said it once as part of a comedy bit on Saturday Night Live.)

I hope that was useful for someone. Thanks for coming to my infodump.

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