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Cheers and Jeers: Tuesday [1]

['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']

Date: 2025-04-22

Things I Pledge to Do for Mother Earth Today is the 55th Earth Day, an event we celebrate every year to remind ourselves that we do not, in fact, have to be the biggest parasites on the third rock from the sun. We choose to be. Unlike the other parasites, we know what we're doing to this planet…and how…and why…and the kinds of things we must do to stop turning it into a ball of uninhabitable human-made garbage. (Awful as it was, the pandemic providing a fascinating glimpse of the cleaner planet we used to know.) To mark the occasion, this year I pledge to... ☼ Save water by enlisting the cat to teach me how to switch over exclusively to tongue baths. ☼ Encourage "teachable moments" by pointing at people drinking out of plastic water bottles and yelling into a bullhorn, "You resource-sucking energy whore, you're killing us!!!" And then angrily throw an educational pamphlet at them. ☼ Restrict my use of "fracking" to its handiness as an adjective paired with the word "idiots" to describe people who displease me. See, this is the problem with plants. They grow to monstrous size and punch holes through the delicate ozone layer. ☼ Contribute to healthy forests by teaching the red-hatted cultists that watering trees "with the blood of tyrants" actually kills them. Fracking idiots. ☼ Rent a chopper and drop thousands of large plastic bins over the city to remind people that Portland, Maine recycles. (And fill them all with loose change to remind people that recycling also saves money!) ☼ Fart only on odd-numbered days. (This one will be tough. I may need to attend support group meetings to stay on the wagon.) ☼ Vote for Democrats. ☼ Continue not interfering with the coal industry’s timely demise. ☼ Retrofit our car with hybrid technology so it only runs on gas when the team of kittens gets too tired to pull it. ☼ Clone a grand army of Greta Thunbergs in my lab. Or, to be more precise, continue cloning an army of Greta Thunbergs in my lab. ☼ Dispose of my spent fuel rods properly instead of selling them to children as glow sticks. In short, as an inhabitant of this spectacular planet, I'll continue to try and treat it with the respect it deserves by following the Four Rs: "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, and Reelect Democrats."

And now, our feature presentation...

Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, April 22, 2025

Note: Due to a clerical error, Tuesday's child is no longer "full of grace" but rather "doomed to be flattened by a falling piano." Also the espresso machine is out of order. —Mgt.

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By the Numbers:

4 days!!!

Days 'til World Pinhole Photography Day: 5

Days 'til Herbs Galore and More in Maymont, Virginia: 4

Estimated number of "Hands Off!" protesters in Portland, Maine Saturday: 1,500

Public approval of Trump's handling of the economy in the latest CNBC poll, the lowest of either term in office and the first time he's been underwater: 43%

Number of new Indigenous territories created in Brazil by President Lula, versus none that were created by his fascist mini-Trump predecessor: 10

Estimated portion of men who will be diagnosed with prostate cancer during their lifetime, according to the American Cancer Society: 1-in-8

Reduction in the risk of developing prostate cancer among men who have at least 21 orgasms a month, according to studies compiled by Harvard: 20%

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Puppy Pic of the Day: Eat yer heart out, Boston Marathon…

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JEERS to unwelcome sequels. If you barfed up your cookies at Signalgate, you'll really lose your lunch over Signalgategate. It’s just what a country wants from the department tasked with effectively defending our country from evildoers: a “full-blown meltdown”:

A former top Pentagon spokesperson has slammed Pete Hegseth’s leadership of the department of defense, as pressure mounts on the US’s top military official following reports of a second Signal chatroom used to discuss sensitive military operations. Tattoos! Deport him! Deport him! John Ullyot, who resigned last week after initially serving as Pentagon spokesperson, said in a opinion essay published by Politico on Sunday that the Pentagon has been overwhelmed by staff drama and turnover in the initial months of the second Trump administration. […] The warning came as the New York Times reported that Hegseth shared details of a US attack on Yemeni Houthi rebels last month in a second Signal chat that he created himself and included his wife, his brother and about a dozen other people.

And coming soon: Signalgategategate: The In-Laws Join the Chat.

AHHH-OOOOH-GAH!!! to previews of coming attractions. This is a test of the Sistine Chapel pope selection smokestack. This is only a test:

[Sniff Sniff] Huh. Pall Malls.

If this had been an actual pope selection, the media would have had an orgasm (within the context of marital fidelity, of course) and you would have been subjected to non-stop news coverage until you puked. This concludes this test of the Sistine Chapel pope-selection smokestack. Now back to Cheers and Jeers…

CHEERS to Billeh's Tuesday Morning Tariff Report. If it's Tuesday morning—and it is, I checked—it must be time for Billeh's Tuesday Morning Tariff Report. It’s the tariff report for you and me and all the common folk in the diners who can't wait to hear the latest on how President Trump is filling up our nation's depleted coffers with shipping containers full of MONEYMONEY MONEY! Golly, it's nice having actual grown-ups doing grown-up things again…

A Boeing jet intended for use by a Chinese airline landed back at the plane maker’s U.S. production hub on Saturday, a victim of the tit-for-tat bilateral tariffs launched by President Donald Trump in his global trade offensive. The 737 MAX, which was meant for China’s Xiamen Airlines, landed at Seattle’s Boeing Field at 6:11 p.m., according to a Reuters witness. It was painted with Xiamen livery. The jet, which made refueling stops in Guam and Hawaii on its 5,000-mile (8,000-km) return journey, was one of several 737 MAX jets waiting at Boeing’s Zhoushan completion center for final work and delivery to a Chinese carrier.

We're told the plane's doors made stops in Mrs. McGillicutty’s vegetable garden in Sacramento and the Ninkasi Brewing Company parking lot in Eugene.

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BRIEF SANITY BREAK

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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK

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CHEERS to rebuffing rabid Republicans. 71 years ago today, the Senate Army-McCarthy hearings began. The villain was Ann Coulter's hero (really, seriously)—a first-class jerk and pre-Ted-Cruz Ted Cruz named Joseph McCarthy, aided and abetted by future Trump lawyer Roy Cohn (really, seriously)—for whom it went very badly:

[T]he Army–McCarthy hearings ultimately became the main catalyst in McCarthy's downfall from political power. Daily newspaper summaries were increasingly unfavorable toward McCarthy, while television audiences witnessed firsthand the unethical tactics of the junior Senator from Wisconsin. McCarthy with future Trump scumbag lawyer Roy Cohn. On December 2, 1954, the Senate voted 67–22 to censure McCarthy, effectively eradicating his influence, though not expelling him from office. … After his censuring, Senator McCarthy continued his anti-Communist oratory, often speaking to an empty or near-empty Senate chamber. Turning increasingly to alcohol, McCarthy died of hepatitis on May 2, 1957, at age 48.

Spoiler alert: At long last, he had no sense of decency.

CHEERS to today's edition of Woo-hoo! Courtesy of ABC News, we take you now to a court hearing via Zoom, where Mike Lindell is pleading his case:

Election denier and MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell continues to refuse to pay more than $50,000 in sanctions he has been ordered to pay to voting software company Smartmatic over "frivolous" election claims, alleging he's left with no money after numerous legal battles. "I'm in ruins," a teary Lindell said through a Zoom screen during a motion hearing in the U.S. District Court in Washington… "I borrowed everything I can. Nobody will lend me any money anymore.”

This has been today's edition of Woo-hoo!

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Ten years ago in C&J: April 22, 2015

CHEERS to Barack Obama: Putin slayer. Well, that was a pleasant little economic blockade. Russia's petty tyrant is already hitting the reset button:

Russia has key interests in common with the United States and needs to work with it on a common agenda, Russian President Vladimir Putin said on Saturday in a television interview. In his comments to the state-run Rossiya channel, Putin appeared to soften his anti-American rhetoric after being highly critical. Relations between Moscow and Washington and other Western powers have soured over the conflict in Russia's neighbor Ukraine, sinking to an all-time low.

After hearing of the capitulation, the RNC immediately un-invited Putin from all the 2016 GOP debates and removed the "I'm Ready for Vladimir!" bumper stickers from their online store.

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And just one more…

CHEERS to boogieing down in your Buster Browns. In Beantown yesterday, the iconic Boston Marathon filled the streets. This year went mostly according to plan. Kenyan colonialist and central planner of the Deep State Barack Obama’s mind-control powers paid off, moving us one step closer to total socialist domination:

Sharon Lokedi broke the Boston Marathon course record, and fellow Kenyan John Korir joined his brother as a race champion on Monday as the city celebrated the 250th anniversary of the start of the Revolutionary War. In the toddler division, Kaitlin is expected to be the first to cross the finish line sometime in September. Lokedi outran two-time defending champion Hellen Obiri over the final mile a year after losing a sprint down Boylston Street to her in one of the closest finishes in race history. Lokedi finished in an unofficial 2 hours, 17 minutes, 22 seconds — 19 seconds ahead of Obiri and more than 2 1/2 minutes faster than the previous Boston best. Marcel Hug of Switzerland [zoomed into Copley Square in 1:21:34 for his eighth Boston wheelchair title. Susannah Scaroni of the United States won the women’s wheelchair race for the second time, finishing in 1:35:20.

As usual, the winner of the Rocket Shoes division, clocking in at a record 2.54 seconds—was Geeky McNerd from MIT, who is expected to make a full recovery from a nasty case of windburn.

Have a tolerable Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?

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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial “FUCK BiPM AND HIS KIDDIE POOL.” —A protester

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