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Caturday Pootie Diary: ...and God laughs [1]
['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']
Date: 2025-04-19
I’m going to start by saying that Freddie is fine. The bird was fine. This story very much wasn’t funny to me directly after it happened, but after it became clear that he was fine and didn’t start the next pandemic in my living room, the story became very, very funny.
I’d also like to acknowledge that I spilled my panic out on this here website and I appreciate you all letting me do that. I have such anxiety about the health of this cat in general that I tend to spiral any time anything happens. But my panic was ultimately over nothing. So thank you and I’m sorry.
A gentle reminder of how we do things: 🐱🐶🐦 Do not troll the diary. If you hate pootie diaries, leave now. No harm, no foul.
Please do share pics of your fur kids! If you have health/behavior issues with your pets, feel free to bring it to the community.
Pooties are cats; Woozles are dogs. Birds... are birds! Peeps are people.
Whatever happens in the outer blog STAYS in the outer blog. If you’re having “issues” with another Kossack, keep it “out there.” This is a place to relax and play; please treat it accordingly. There are some pics we never post: snakes, creepy crawlies, any and all photos that depict or encourage human cruelty toward animals. These are considered “out of bounds” and will not be tolerated. If we alert you to it, please remember that we do have phobic peeps who react strongly to them. If you keep posting banned pics...well then...the Tigress will have to take matters in hand. Or, paw.
I came home from the gym to chaos.
“What’s happening?” I asked, spotting my mom in the living room with a broom in her hand, the front door open wide behind her and the cat staring hard at the ceiling.
“Bird!” she said, looking up the stairs.
“Bird?”
“There’s a bird in the house!”
I glanced at the open door, and then at Freddie. I was glad that he was never inclined to run outside. It meant I didn’t have to worry about him while we dealt with the bird. “Where is it?” I asked.
“Upstairs,” she said, nodding in that direction.
“Human,” Freddie called as I climbed the stairs. “Bird!” He sounded elated.
“I know, Freddie,” I said. I didn’t spot it until I was almost at the top.
A beautiful bluebird sat perched on the stair rail, watching me warily.
It was such a strange place to see such a creature, that I actually felt a little lightheaded for a moment while my brain adjusted.
I crept up behind it and flapped my hands at it, hoping to encourage it in the direction of the open door.
It flew up, to the skylight.
“It keeps doing that,” my mom said. “It seems to think it can escape that way.”
I flinched, hearing the sound of the frantic bird flapping around the glass of the skylight. It gave up after a minute, and flew back at me and into my bedroom. “No!” I said, watching as it entered the mosquito net that covered my bed.
I picked up a clean shirt, thinking I could gently trap it and carry it outside. What followed was a lot of futility as I chased the thing from one end to the other, never once coming close to catching it.
It managed to find the exit and flew out of my bedroom and back up to the skylight. “Ridiculous bird,” I muttered, closing my bedroom door to lock it out.
"I’m gonna get that bird,” Freddie said, watching it with an intensity I’ve never seen on him before.
“Don’t you dare,” I said, using the broom to nudge it from the skylight. I was waving the broom near it without touching it. As inconvenient as the situation was, I didn’t want to hurt it.
It flew past the open door and into the living room, landing gracefully on top of the bookcase. Freddie followed it.
“Nevermore,” I said, dryly.
For the next ten minutes, the three of us chased the bird from room to room and from surface to surface, trying in vain to get it out the open door.
“You terrible bird!” I remember shouting at it the third time it flew right past the door.
It flew toward the backdoor and Freddie gave chase.
“No!” we both yelled, watching in horror as Freddie leapt and caught the bird, pinning it to the ground with both front paws.
“You are an indoor cat!” I yelled.
It was true. He’s far from a wild cat. The bird managed to escape without either animal getting injured. Freddie had not bitten it, or been pecked.
The bird flew into the kitchen as I ran past Freddie to open the back door.
We watched the bird fly a full circuit of the kitchen and the family room. I was mentally kicking myself for not locking Freddie in the office or bathroom at the start of this nonsense. In my defense, nothing in his history at my house led me to think he could actually catch anything more spry than a cricket, much less a whole ass bird.
Without any more ado, the bird glided out the back door, across the yard, and back out into the world.
We cheered.
I closed the door and paused to catch my breath. Then I looked down at my cat. “I’ve been doing my best to keep you away from birds for months and this one flew right to you,” I complained.
“Where is it?” he asked.
“Gone,” I said.
He looked around. “I’ll find it,” he said, determined.
Late for work thanks to all the drama, I showered and dressed as fast as I could and jogged downstairs to throw together my lunch.
Freddie was pacing from room to room, still looking for the bird.
“It’s gone,” I told him again. “In the next county by now, as fast as it was flying.”
He trotted behind me into the kitchen and watched as I tossed a frozen pizza and some carrot sticks into my lunch bag.
“I’ll find it,” he said, confident. “Did you see me catch it? I’m such a good hunter.”
I nodded. “I wish you weren’t half as good,” I admitted.
Happy Caturday, Peeps! It happened almost exactly like this. The bird seemed perfectly healthy even though it decided to fly down our chimney (I assume. I really don’t know how else it could have gotten in). I did notice it was breathing hard, but I think it was just scared. I’ve taken down the mosquito net and thrown it out, just in case, and also one of Freddie’s beds — the one he pinned to bird to. Don’t worry, he has like a dozen other beds.
Also, happy Easter to all who celebrate! May you wake to chocolate eggs left by a large bunny.
[END]
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