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Cheers and Jeers: Monday [1]

['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']

Date: 2025-04-14

The Week Ahead

Monday The details revealed in today's breaking Trump administration scandal are so heinous, evil, and incompetent-yet-calculated that analysts predict they'll dominate the news cycle for weeks. Commerce Secretary Howard Lunatic announces that any country imposing tariffs on the United States will first have to pay a 125 percent tariff tariff. And if they balk at that, he’ll impose a tariff on the tariff tariff. Tuesday Today is the day you need to make sure you've sent enough money to the IRS to pay your income taxes. If you're in the top one percent, today is the day you need to make sure you've sent enough money to the Cayman Islands to dodge your income taxes. The details revealed in today's Trump administration scandal are so heinous, evil, and incompetent-yet-calculated that analysts predict they'll wipe yesterday's scandal off the map and dominate the news cycle for weeks. All week: the MAGA economic strategy continues. Wednesday The two-week House recess continues. As Democratic members of Congress step up to lead town hall meetings in red districts, Republican members of Congress declare town hall meetings DEI, woke, communist, inflationary, deficit-creating, un-American, and anything else they can think of to justify the reason they're tweeting from a broom closet in their basement. The details revealed in today's Trump administration scandal are so heinous, evil, and incompetent-yet-calculated that analysts predict they'll wipe yesterday's scandal off the map and dominate the news cycle for weeks. Thursday A conservative podcaster apologizes for comparing LGBTQ people to Hitler, vowing that in the future he’ll only compare them to George Soros. Stephen Miller reluctantly calls the director of ICE to cancel his kidnapping and deportation to a torture prison. The details revealed in today's Trump administration scandal are so heinous, evil, and incompetent-yet-calculated that analysts predict they'll wipe yesterday's scandal off the map and dominate the news cycle for weeks. Friday All the U.S. markets are closed today for Good Friday. Thank Christ, says every investor tied up in the markets. The spring fiddlehead forecast is released and, once again, experts are torn between "sauteed" and "pickled." The details revealed in today's Trump administration scandal are so heinous, evil, and incompetent-yet-calculated that analysts predict they'll wipe yesterday's scandal off the map and dominate the news cycle for weeks.

Saddle up. Let’s get this foolishness over with by suppertime.

And now, our feature presentation...

Cheers and Jeers for Monday, April 14, 2025

Note: Washington, D.C. residents: yes, you have to pay taxes in exchange for no representation. But please enjoy the gorgeous views of the Tidal Basin year-round at no extra charge.

—Your Friendly Federal Government

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By the Numbers:

10 days!!!

Days 'til National Librarian Day: 2

Days 'til the 39th annual Freeland Walleye Festival in Michigan: 10

First-time unemployment claims announced last week, up 4,000 from the previous week: 223,000

Amount of wasteful spending Elon Musk pledged to root out and eliminate via DOGE: $2 trillion

Amount of waste he “allegedly” found: $150 billion

Amount of that waste that will actually be real waste: $19.95

Percent chance that El Nino and La Nina are currently not present in the atmosphere, leaving us in a "neutral phase": 100%

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Puppy Pic of the Day: Just don’t ask 'em for a loan. They're very cautious with their money…

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CHEERS to Monday morning snapshots. CBS News is out with their latest polling on the Trump administration's performance. Here are some of the topline numbers:

100 percent say the destruction of our democracy at the hands of Trump is a done deal. 97 percent expect to endure great pain and hardship for the rest of their lives because of Trump. 96 percent expect that their neighbors will be kidnapped by Trump’s ICE agents and sent to an El Salvador gulag 99 percent agree that Trump will be directly responsible for the Great Depression that we'll fall into this year. 100 percent believe that hope, joy, and laughter area thing of the past that will never return during their lifetimes, all because of Trump. 88 percent believe that they'll have to work fort he rest of their lives to make ends meet because of Trump. 96 percent say that Trump killed the American dream. 100 percent agree Trump's going to get us all killed within the next six months.

And nearly half of the country believes he’s doing a great job as president. Now on sale in the Fox News online giftshop: cool, refreshing glasses of Trump brand Kool-Aid. Bet ya can't drink more than one!

JEERS to wacko thespians. 160 years ago today, John Wilkes Booth shot a derringer ball into Abe Lincoln's head, snuffing out the life of a great (the greatest?) president who was then a year younger than I am now: 56. Here's a pic of the 44th president gazing at the 16th president who made his ascension to the White House possible…

Tuck in your shirt and pay your respects here. They say that as an actor John Wilkes Booth was considered "the George Clooney of his day" when he killed Lincoln. As a “human being”? Not so much.

JEERS to the stupid leading the smart. Secretary of Education Linda McMahon has started firing a shitload of employees. She says they're not good enough. They're not smart enough. They don’t possess the awesome brain power that she does. By god, she's sick and tired of all this dumb stuff coming from her employees, and she's had enough of it. And in other news:

Secretary of Education Linda McMahon...confused artificial intelligence, also known as AI, with A1, the same name as the popular sauce brand. "A school system that's going to start making sure that first graders, or even pre-Ks, have A1 teaching in every year. That's a wonderful thing!" Early Christmas bonuses to the A1 rapid-response marketing team. "Kids are sponges. They just absorb everything. It wasn't all that long ago that it was, 'We're going to have internet in our schools!' Now let's see A1 and how can that be helpful."

Responded her boss: “Whoever my Secretary of Education is, she’s wrong. The only thing that belongs in the internet is ketchup.”

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BRIEF SANITY BREAK

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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK

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CHEERS to Matzoh Fever. Passover (aka "They tried to kill us, we survived, let's eat") began at sundown Saturday and continues through this week. The holiday commemorates Moses's exodus from Egypt three thousand years ago, including his Oscar-winning parting of the Red Sea. I'm not Jewish (my roulette wheel stopped on Episcopalian), but I still like to commemorate it with an abbreviated seder during which I go straight to the four glasses of wine. Thus explaining why in our house the holiday is more commonly known as Passout.

CHEERS to wurds. 207 yeers agow tooday, Noah Webster puhbilshed the fuhrst (frist??) Amarrican dikshunery. It hellpd peeple spehlll bettor. (Sorry about that...this is the one day of the year that we let our spellchecker have the keys to the liquor cabinet.)

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Ten years ago in C&J: April 14, 2015

CHEERS to a pleasant thaw. President Obama decided to slice him off a chunk of American history over the weekend by spending some face time with Cuba's president. And it sounds like they had a pleasant little chat:

"Obviously there are still going to be deep and significant differences between our two governments," Obama told Castro as they met in Panama, where they both attended a summit of leaders from across the Americas. The U.S. president said he believed both sides could raise their concerns about the other's policies yet still work together to boost commercial, travel and diplomatic ties. [...] The last time the leaders of the two countries held a substantive meeting was in 1956, when Dwight Eisenhower was U.S. president and Fulgencio Batista was the U.S.-backed dictator in power in Havana.

I wouldn’t be surprised if President Obama got a little bump in the polls among Republicans. After all, he finally did something that took us back to the 1950s.

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And just one more…

CHEERS to the sounds of our lives. The Library of Congress has added another 25 American audio gems to its National Recording Registry, a list of audio bon mots that ranges from “Aloha ‘Oe” by the Hawaiian Quintette (1913) to Elton John’s Goodbye Yellow Brick Road…from Chuck Thompson’s radio broadcast of Game 7 of the 1960 world series to the Steve Miller Band’s Fly Like An Eagle and even Brian Eno’s iconic Microsoft Windows Reboot Chime:

“These are the sounds of America—our wide-ranging history and culture. The National Recording Registry is our evolving nation’s playlist,” [Carla] Hayden said. “The Library of Congress is proud and honored to select these audio treasures worthy of preservation, including iconic music across a variety of genres, field recordings, sports history and even the sounds of our daily lives with technology.” I had a “briefcase-style” record player similar to this one as a kid, but mine came with a built-in machine gun. More than 2,600 nominations were made by the public this year for recordings to consider for the registry. “Chicago Transit Authority” finished No. 1 in the public nominations this year. Other selected recordings in the top 10 of public nominations include “Happy Trails,” “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road” and “My Life” by Blige. The recordings selected for the National Recording Registry this year bring the number of titles on the registry to 675, representing a small portion of the national library’s vast recorded sound collection of nearly 4 million items.

You can see all the entries going back to the Registry's beginning in 2002 here. Failing to make the list for the 23rd year in a row: "Bill in Portland Maine Belches the Alphabet." I have one word for this election system: Rigged.

Have a tolerable Monday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?

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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial "One of the taglines for Cheers and Jeers on a billboard somewhere said simply, 'You don't know what you're missing.’ As a former fictional ad man, I really enjoyed that tagline." —Jon Hamm

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