(C) Daily Kos
This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered.
. . . . . . . . . .
On The Bright Side, They Still Haven't Come For Me! (satire) [1]
['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']
Date: 2025-04-09
First they came for the immigrants, and I don’t mind telling you I felt a good deal of discomfort about it. It just seemed wrong! Sure, our immigration system is busted – everyone knows that – but that’s no excuse for the kind of heavy-handed, cruel and even blatantly illegal roundups and deportations they engaged in, coming for the immigrants like they did!
Honesty, when first they came for the immigrants – well, it got me so riled up that I strongly considered speaking out! Ultimately though, I made the decision to not speak out, reasoning that while I am, like our President, descended from immigrants seeking a better life, and while I unquestionably benefit from the labor and energy of today’s immigrants, documented or otherwise -- I, myself, am not at present an immigrant.
Having made my decision regarding speaking out, I moved on to other matters, assuming that would be the end of it as far as them coming for people. So you can imagine my consternation and dismay at what they did then: namely, come for the students! Young people who had been charged with no crimes were being detained and deported for nothing more than political speech the government finds objectionable. Abducted right off the street in broad daylight, whisked away to out-of-state prisons in a blatant bid to thwart judicial oversight. These are fascist police-state tactics!
The way they then came for the students did not sit well with me, to put it mildly! I once again felt a strong urge to speak out. However, after performing the same analysis as before regarding my status vis-à-vis the impacted group, I was able to ascertain that, in spite of having a BA (cum laude!) and having participated in my share of fairly radical speech and protest back in my day (shame on you, James Watt!), and despite my pride in being a lifelong learner, I am not, at least in the technical sense of being presently enrolled at an educational institution, a student.
By this point, I was feeling more than a little uneasy about the general direction things were headed in terms of them coming for people. But I was still thrown for a loop at their subsequent act of brazen authoritarian thuggery: namely, then coming for the lawyers and the judges. Threatening judges with impeachment for ruling against the Administration, threatening law firms with devastating executive orders for failing to bend the knee – well, to my mind, this kind of behavior is more than just abusive. It threatens the very basis for the rule of law!
But it so happens that I am not a judge or a lawyer either! If I had been one, you can be sure I would have spoken out a piece of my mind! I might have spoken out something to the effect of, “Hey! If you can abuse the power of the government to threaten, coerce, and essentially blackmail me this way, what’s to stop you from doing it to pretty much anyone?”
But I’m not, so I didn’t. And for the same reason, I also didn’t speak out when they came for all of the other groups of which I am not personally a member: the journalists, the tourists, the firefighters, the forest rangers, the teachers and the professors, the inspectors general, the career prosecutors, the Kennedy Center trustees, the trans people, the climate scientists, the meteorologists, the Tesla protestors, the librarians, the hurricane trackers, the disease detectives, the farmers, the generals and admirals, the tattooed, the HIV-positive, the diabetic, the cancer stricken, the union members, the food inspectors, the tax auditors, the nuclear weapons safety workers, the foreign aid workers, the election workers, the veterans, the veterinarians, the Canadians, the Greenlanders, the Panamanians, the Californians, the Mainers, the Ukrainians, the Haitians, the Venezuelans, the Cubans, the Nicaraguans, the pregnant, the poor, the sick, the hungry, the elderly, the disabled, the women, the children, the fish, the birds, the bees, the flowers, the trees, airplanes with the word “gay” in their name, and certain penguins.
Don’t get me wrong, I am fully intending to speak out just as soon as the time is right! I am good and ready! Only…wait. Where is everybody?
..
[OR possible happy ending?]
Oh! THERE you are! Whew!
___________________
I’m a humor writer and semi-regular contributor to DailyKos — check out my previous work and maybe follow me here for more! Also if you enjoyed JD Vance: Can’t Fight These Felines, please subscribe to the Frabjous Media YouTube channel — we’ll be dropping a new one soon that I’m pretty excited about!
[END]
---
[1] Url:
https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2025/4/9/2315348/-On-The-Bright-Side-They-Still-Haven-t-Come-For-Me-satire?pm_campaign=front_page&pm_source=latest_community&pm_medium=web
Published and (C) by Daily Kos
Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified.
via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds:
gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/