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TOP SECRET: DO NOT READ (unless you are a cabinet member) [1]
['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']
Date: 2025-04-03
Hello Patriots, Mike W. here, and I know you will all agree that this is a discreet place to discuss matters of national importance. J.D. asked me to find a safer app venue, and after many hours of research, I’ve finally found the perfect landing spot.
Already, the response to this new app from some of my fellow Cabinet Members has been amazing! So this is just a brief stop-over, before going all in on our new spot. I also want to ease your minds and show you the success we're having already.
So, friends, the new app is called Grindr, and I think this one will be much more secure. In fact, I've already met with Hal, who stated he is the Secretary of Boning. I didn't even know we had a Cabinet Member in charge of maintaining bones? Aren’t we getting rid of museums? CC Elon? But Hal has the energy and drive we R’s clearly need right now. Secretary Hal repeatedly sent me a message (overnight, no less!) that he was DTF. I looked it up and found out this is what young hipsters say when they want to get 'down to business.' Mark my words, this guy will be the new face of the GOP! A real up-and-coming go-getter. Also, gentle reminder to all our Cabinet Members to please wear shirts when creating your profile.
So, signing onto Grindr is easy folks, and takes only a few minutes. Our first meeting on our app will be next Monday 7 PM, and that was when Secretary Hal said he was going to rock our worlds. I'm looking forward to his information, and honestly, I've just gotten notices from 6 other of our Cabinet Members, all men, thank goodness, with many, shall I say, creative ideas for meeting up in person.
Part of the reason we're doing these app chats, I just need to remind everyone, is so we don't have to meet up in person.
I look forward to seeing you all on Grindr 7 PM Monday to discuss our next plans. I'll post updates here to find a secure time for our meetings. Thank you for your service and and our mutual future successes. As Secretary Hal says, let's get DTF.
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