(C) Daily Kos
This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered.
. . . . . . . . . .
Cheers and Jeers: Monday [1]
['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']
Date: 2025-03-31
Your Monday Morning No-Caffeine Endorphin Boost
..with Senator Adam Schiff:
x Is there anyone Trump likes less than Senator Adam Schiff? @schiff.senate.gov — Jimmy Kimmel Live (@jimmykimmellive.bsky.social) 2025-03-22T16:37:58.599Z
New week. Saddle up. We ride.
And now, our feature presentation...
Cheers and Jeers for Monday, March 31, 2025
Note: If your Monday is not 100% satisfactory, we'll happily replace it with a Wednesday for a small restocking fee of as many dollars as you can stuff into this pillowcase at gunpoint. Remember: at Billy Mart, your satisfaction is our 18th priority. 19th if Chuck is in one of his moods again. —Mgt.
-
By the Numbers:
4 days!!!
Days 'til the Wisconsin Supreme Court election with liberal Judge Susan Crawford facing MAGA cultist and Elon Musk fanboy Brad Schimel: 1!!!
Days 'til the North Texas Gourd Festival in Granbury: 4
Length of time the measles virus can hang in the air: 2 hours
Percent of unvaccinated people exposed to the measles who become infected: 90%
Percent of lost dogs with microchips who are found, according to the American Veterinary Medical Association: 52%
Percent found and returned who don’t have a microchip: 22%
Weight of the Statue of Liberty: 450,000 lbs
-
Puppy Pic of the Day: One of these is not a morning puppy…
-
CHEERS to timely departures. Today is the last day of March, a month fraught with snow (as recent as freakin' Saturday here, with some ice tossed in at no extra charge), rain, wind, tornadoes, plane crashes, train crashes, Tesla crashes, stock market crashes, and sanity crashes. Years from now we hope to look back on this month with great...amnesia.
CHEERS to getting poked back by the very polite beast. Dean Blundell is a Canadian "media guy, content provider, dog whisperer, Canadian raconteur, and muckraker." Over the weekend he expressed much pleasure over his country's new prime minister and the way Canada is showing the world that they won’t be bullied by all the vindictive backstabbers running our country:
Yesterday, Canada’s Prime Minister—Mark Carney—severed economic and security ties with Trump’s America. Full stop. No warning. No negotiation. Just boom: "We’re done here." Why? Because we’ve had enough. Prediction: for showing a spine of steel against the American evildoers, new P.M. Mark Carney easily remains at the helm after the Canadian elections on April 28th, Carney saw the writing on the wall. Trump was trying to big-dick him for weeks—sending envoys, sliding into diplomatic DMs, probably even using Jared Kushner’s creepy little WhatsApp avatar. Crickets. Carney didn’t flinch. He iced Trump out like a Canadian January. […] Trump, clearly rattled, issued a statement that sounded like it was written by someone who just got dumped mid-prom. He actually called Carney “The Prime Minister of Canada.” Not “the Governor of the 51st state,” not “that guy who talks pretty,” but Prime f**ing Minister. Kiss the ring, Donny. The Northern Ring. After months of mocking Canada, threatening tariffs, treating us like a political doormat, the old orange menace now knows who’s holding the cards. Spoiler alert: It ain’t the guy under 91 indictments. […] So yeah—today, Trump put some respect on Canada’s name. But he can still fuck all the way off until we say otherwise.
As an American, I must protest over these blatant words of hostility towards our government. Mainly because I didn’t think of 'em first.
CHEERS to fun in the sun. On March 31, 1917, the U.S. took possession of what are now the U.S. Virgin Islands (not to be confused with the inferior British Virgin Islands) from Denmark for $25 million. Sadly, residents there—who are considered U.S. citizens—are allowed to vote in presidential primaries but not general elections. Which is kinda like having your parents give you a scoop of freezer-burned vanilla ice cream while your siblings get a big bowl of Chunky Monkey with chocolate sauce, whipped cream, nuts, Oreos, and gummi bears. (Oh, and if it's not too much trouble, Maine would like some sprinkles on top.)
-
BRIEF SANITY BREAK
-
-
END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
-
CHEERS to great moments in disappearing stuff. 167 years ago this week, in 1858, the pencil-with-attached-eraser was patented by Hyman L. Lipman of Philadelphia. Then things got a bit ugly:
In 1862 Lipman sold his patent to Joseph Reckendorfer for $100,000, who went [on] to sue the pencil manufacturer Faber for infringement. “My God, Spock. What...has Lipman...done?” In 1875 the Supreme Court of the United States ruled against Reckendorfer declaring the patent invalid because his invention was actually a combination of two already known things with no new use.
It should come as no surprise that Trump officials write their press releases using both sides of their Lipman pencils. One end to make up their own facts, and the other end to erase the real facts.
JEERS to Trumpflation. Joe Biden leashed the beast. His successor appears to have sicced it on our wallets again:
Americans can expect to pay a bit more for their cup of coffee as factors impacting the supply chain increase prices. In February, the price of wholesale arabica coffee broke a previous record of $4.30, which was double the price compared to last year, according to futures contracts traded in New York. Coffee roasters could now pass the rising costs on to customers.
I guess that explains why my McDonald's Egg McJava cost me $87.50 this morning.
-
Ten years ago in C&J: March 31, 2015
JEERS to an orchidward arrangement. First Lady Michelle Obama and her White House florist are no longer buds, but no one's sure where the conflict stems from or what the carnation is going on! Speculation is their working relationship had gotten thorny, their rapport had wilted, and the bloom was off the rose. Some even say the First Lady caught Laura Dowling fibbing and shouted, "How could you lilac that?!" But so far everyone's staying mum and playing it close to the vase. However, officials confirm the two will still be capable of communicating about flowers because they each have tulips. But for now, Dowling has put the petal to the metal and is seeking greener pastures. The End.
-
And just one more…
CHEERS to big balls, little balls, balls balls balls! After a wild March of ups and downs and smiles and frowns, your NCAA Fabulous Four men's matchups are: Florida vs. Auburn and Duke vs. Houston. They'll play Saturday and whittle the field down to two. The womenfolk’s final four will be determined tonight. Not many people know this, but I tried to compete on the court in school. Didn’t work out too well. The basketball kept breaking my badminton racquet.
Have a tolerable Monday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
-
Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial "If Cheers and Jeers continues, a film of algae in the kiddie pool will be the least of our concerns, and all the skimmers and chlorine in the world won’t save us.” —Hillary Clinton
-
[END]
---
[1] Url:
https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2025/3/31/2313144/-Cheers-and-Jeers-Monday?pm_campaign=front_page&pm_source=trending&pm_medium=web
Published and (C) by Daily Kos
Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified.
via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds:
gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/
