(C) Daily Kos
This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered.
. . . . . . . . . .
For $1,000 a MAGA preacher says God will be "an enemy to your enemies" + you get 6 more blessings [1]
['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']
Date: 2025-03-25
Paula White, a conservative evangelical pastor who is a friend of Trump and a "special government employee," has an offer no moron can refuse. Send her $1,000, and the Lord will shower you with seven must-have "supernatural blessings." (Video at the bottom — or click HERE .) To wit, he will:
Assign an angel to you
Be an enemy to your enemies
Give you prosperity
Take sickness away
Give you a long life
Cause increase for you
Give you a special year of blessing
Damn! That's less than $150 per supernatural blessing.
However, I have questions.
Is there a refund if I do not receive some or all of the goodies?
Does my angel have a name?
Does this mean God will do something terrible to my enemies — if so, can I pick the flavor of retribution?
How much is prosperity? Like the Mega Millions, do I get to choose a one-time payment vs an annual payout?
Does sickness include hangovers and colds? Or is it just the serious stuff?
How long is a long life? If I pay extra, can I get more years? If so, what's the cost per year?
Increase what?
Are there senior, child, and student discounts? How about a family plan? Or a buy-one-get-one-half-off type offer?
From a financial planning perspective, the big question is whether this is a one-and-done offer? Or is it more like a streaming subscription? It's hard to tell. Every blessing but one does not appear to be time-limited. However, once my "special year of blessing" is up, do I have to pay another $1,000 to get another year? Or just $184.26 ($1,000 divided by 7). Is there a loyal customer discount?
Like all great shlock-peddlers, White's sales pitch has a 'buy now' urgency. This is how she explains it:
"And I believe when you honor God on Passover, starting on April 12th at sundown, through Good Friday on the 18th, and concluding on Easter Sunday, you can receive these seven supernatural blessings for you and your house (I guess that answers the family plan question) according to Exodus 23, God will: At this point, she outlines the seven supernatural blessings enumerated above.
I was intrigued. So I had a look at Exodus 23 . Note: I am no expert in biblical exegesis, but I can read. There is no demand by God for cash. That is White's gratuitous addition. Quite the contrary, the Son of God is on record against mixing church and commerce.
According to Matthew 21:12-13 , "Jesus entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there." In case you missed the point, he added, "My house will be called a house of prayer, but you are making it a den of robbers."
Here is some of what Exodus 23 does say:
Do not spread false reports. Do not help a guilty person by being a malicious witness.
Do not follow the crowd in doing wrong.
Do not accept a bribe.
Do not cook a young goat in its mother's milk. (This is the source of the separation of meat and dairy. So Big Macs are out.)
Do not oppress a foreigner ; you yourselves know how it feels to be foreigners, because you were foreigners in Egypt.
It seems to me that the Trump administration needs to bone up on the Bible. However, I doubt White will hold her benefactor to its words. Her 'fix yourself by sending me cash' begathon is just for proles.
Exodus 23 does talk to six of the seven 'blessings' White mentions — nothing about a "special year of blessing." However, the angel is not a cuddly protector but more of a highway cop making sure you don't break the traffic laws — "Do not rebel against him; he will not forgive your rebellion, since my Name is in him." The rest of her list also comes with strings she doesn't mention.
White finishes with an argument that makes sense to her. She says that the check-writer shouldn't fork over their hard-earned to "get something." They should give her $1,000 to "recieve" something. Please God, grant me the intelligence to understand the difference.
"You are not doing this to get something. But you are doing it to honor God, realizing what you can receive."
White fades away and is replaced by a late-night Ginsu knife "Wait, there's more" salesman sweetening the offer.
"For your special Passover offering of $1,000 or more as the Holy Spirit leads, you will also receive the beautiful ten-inch Waterford crystal cross. Don't miss your moment to release seven supernatural blessings and provision into your life."
Here's a picture of the cross — which you could buy for $70 retail. (Wholesale is typically half of that.)
Screenshot from Paula White’s YouTube cash grab,
The conservative evangelical God is a paradox. He has made everything that exists. Yet He has an insatiable need for money. What is he going to spend it on? The answer, of course, is nothing. Because he isn't going to get the money. Paula White is.
If you are the sort of Christian who believes God sits on His hands, indifferent to your well-being, until you give a grifter some cash, then you are a fool (and soon parted from your money).
For those of you who can stomach a grifter slinging sanctimonious unction, here's video of a MAGA-fleecer at work.
[END]
---
[1] Url:
https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2025/3/25/2312508/-For-1-000-a-MAGA-preacher-says-God-will-be-an-enemy-to-your-enemies-you-get-6-more-blessings?pm_campaign=front_page&pm_source=trending&pm_medium=web
Published and (C) by Daily Kos
Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified.
via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds:
gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/
