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What’s the best lobotomy for Trump Derangement Syndrome? [1]

['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']

Date: 2025-03-19

Is America at risk of a Trump Derangement Syndrome pandemic? Is TDS contagious? Fatal? Is there a vaccination? What exactly is Trump Derangement Syndrome? And how do I know if I have it?

Great questions!

I don’t have a goddamn clue.

But it’s time to get some answers because Trump Derangement Syndrome is being upgraded to an “official mental illness” in Minnesota. Risk of exposure is extremely high in social media comment sections, where it has infected and contaminated public discourse.

So let’s cut through the confusion with my special guest, a leading Trump Derangement Syndrome expert who is here to answer a few questions. Please welcome Professor Donald T. Rumpty of Triple Action University.

Q&A

Dear Professor Rumpty –

Every day on social media, I see Trump supporters accusing Trump critics of having “Trump Derangement Syndrome.” Often, the Trump critic will respond that it is actually the Trump supporter who is suffering from Trump-induced derangement. Who is right?

– Confused About TDS

###

Dear Confused –

The short answer: They probably both are.

You see, Trump Derangement Syndrome afflicts two distinct and radically different patient cohorts.

Left-Brain Trump Derangement Syndrome is characterized by extreme levels of anxiety, rage, madness, sadness, confusion, fury and loss of faith in the truth … connected to the patient’s consuming sense of frustration and despair that such an absolute fuckface of a human being could be president of the United States.

Right-Brain Trump Derangement Syndrome is an insidious neurological affliction that blocks the brain’s ability to differentiate between a Golden God-Like Hero and a Demented Predatory Tyrant. Conditions include an irrational compulsion to “own the libs,” often by blurting out the words “Trump Derangement Syndrome” at people.

In both types of cases, the sufferers are rendered at least mildly to moderately “deranged” by Trump. Both strains of TDS are proven to rot the brain over time. In scientific terms: He just has that effect on people. A real pain in the brain.

This poor bastard doesn’t stand a chance.

# # #

Dear Professor Rumpty –

I have been openly critical of Donald Trump as a diabolical president and horrible human being. I believe he is trying to deconstruct America and “divide up the assets” among billionaire robber barons. I fear he is coming for my Social Security money … and my Constitution. Does that make me deranged?

– What the Heck America?!

###

Dear What the Heck –

Nope. Based upon your clear-eyed assessment of our current cold-hard reality, it is my professional opinion that you do not suffer from a mental illness called Trump Derangement Syndrome.

# # #

Dear Professor Rumpty –

I think I have Trump Derangement Syndrome! Please make it stop! I never dreamed of hating or hurting another living soul but … grrrrr. I HATE HIM! There, I said it. Guy triggers me 24/7 … smirking in my face fucking up my country. Yep. Put me down for TDS and Post-Trump’matic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

– I Hate Trump

###

Dear I Hate Trump –

Hate is a very strong word. But not nearly strong enough to describe how much I, too, loathe and despise that … toxic maligornant … socioprez. Quick confesh: I am not only the nation’s top Trump Derangement Syndrome specialist, I am also a TDS victim/survivor.

The latest Gallup poll shows that at a vast majority of Americans across the Right-Brain and Left-Brain hemispheres of political thinking are at risk of permanent to quasi-permanent brain damage thanks to … you know who.

The irony, of course, is that Trump himself is the most dangerous, brain-deranged lunatic in the game … self-styled CEO of the Trump Derangement-Industrial Complex.

# # #

Please submit any additional questions for Professor Donald T. Rumpty of Triple Action University in the comments section below.

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