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Breaking satire: Trump and Musk catch measles; fire RFK Jr. [1]
['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']
Date: 2025-03-10
WTF America?! has learned that Presidents Donald Musk and Elon Trump are both recuperating from a bad case of the measles.
Musk’s pug-ugly face was covered with phony-looking red dots, but Trump’s measles were not visible to the naked eye because they were buried under three millimeters of Triple Action Gold Bold Self-Tanning Bronzer.
U.S. Secretary of Health and Human Services Robert F. Kennedy Jr. reportedly tried to cure them by prescribing ivermectin tablets washed down with bleach and cod liver oil. When that somehow didn’t work, they all took some ketamine and dined on whale carcass and grizzly bear steaks in the Oval Office.
After dinner, Trump fired Kennedy … then rehired him.
Moments later, Musk told Kennedy, “You’re DOGE’d, dude!” — then immediately unDOGE’d him while emitting an almost human-sounding laugh. Using his supreme mastery of Government Efficiency, Musk simultaneously shut down the U.S. Department of Education and sold its headquarters to one of his shell companies.
The two measles-riddled weasels then tried to perform a “high five” but missed and smacked each other in the face.
Before leaving, RFK Jr. complimented Musk on his chainsaw posturing and reminisced about how he once used a Craftsman table saw to decapitate a bald eagle that “tasted just like chicken.
“Fake news”
Hours later at 2:45 this morning, Trump got on Truth Social to compare the penis sizes of Arnold Palmer, Al Capone and Hannibal Lecter; confiding that Vladimir Putin had the biggest dong he’d ever laid eyes on.
He then published an all-caps screed denouncing WTF America?! as “fake news.”
When informed that WTF America?! is eviscerating him thrice weekly with “a thing called satire” — a form of civic political speech (currently) protected under the First Amendment, Trump said, “My boys Roberts, Alito and Clarence are going to fix that.”
In related satire: RFK Jr. says he plans to expose the entire country to Mad Cow Disease to build herd immunity. Same with Chicken Pox, Monkey Pox and MAGA Pox.
# # #
WTF America?! loves smacking Trump and Musk in the face with satire.
See more here.
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