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Cheers and Jeers: Rum and Coke FRIDAY! [1]
['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']
Date: 2025-03-07
Late Night Snark: Adderall Man to the Rescue? Edition
“Donald Trump has been busy. In the past couple of days, he’s switched sides on the war in Ukraine, announced a national crypto reserve, and dismantled the National Weather Service. Because part of the fun of experiencing a Category 5 hurricane is the surprise.” —The Daily Show’s Michael Kosta “During his address, Trump declared that America ‘will be woke no longer.’ And after a hundred minutes of him speaking, no one was.” —Jimmy Fallon “According to a new poll on CNN, 52 percent of Americans do not approve of the way Trump is handling his job as president. The other 48 percent responded in Russian, so we don’t know exactly what they think.” —Jimmy Kimmel “You know the DOGE motto: If it ain’t broke, let me try!” —Stephen Colbert "Anora is having a good night. I guess Americans are excited to see somebody finally stand up to a powerful Russian." —Conan O'Brien at the Oscars "Dozens of birds believed to have died from avian flu have washed up on a Long Island beach. But don't worry, RFK Jr. is almost done eating them." —Colin Jost, SNL “The second annual Florida Man Games were held over the weekend outside St. Augustine. Sadly, several contestants were disqualified after testing negative for meth.” —Seth Meyers
And now, our feature presentation...
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, March 7, 2025
Note: Did you hear that greenhouse gases also affect gravity? I'd be skeptical. At this point it's just a rumor that's floating around.
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By the Numbers:
6 days!!!
Days 'til Easter: 44
Days 'til California's Central Coast WiVi in Paso Robles: 6
Minimum number of jobs the Republican-controlled Executive Branch intends to cut from the Department of Veterans Affairs: 80,000
Percent chance that Greenland can be bought, according to Prime Minister Mute Bourup Egede: 0%
Percent chance that Trump was "lying again" about U.S. ownership of the Panama Canal, according to Panama's president José Raúl Mulino: 100%
Number of vehicles House Speaker Mike Johnson's chief of staff Hayden Haynes backed into before he was arrested for DUI after consuming alcohol at the behest of Satan Tuesday night: 1
Rank of Olivia Newton-John's Have You Never Been mellow, the Doobie Brothers' Black Water, and Franki Valli's My Eyes Adored You on the Billboard Hot 100 charts 50 years ago this week: #1, #2, #3
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Weekend plans…
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CHEERS to the Loser-in-Chief losing again. Once again, we can officially carve a giant "L" on his giant orange overbaked-chicken-skin forehead. Because his tariff idea—stupid from its conception, which probably hatched on some MAGA idiot's podcast that he happened to catch a snip of—is shitting the bed and one thing we know for sure: Melania ain't gonna be cleaning it up:
Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick said Thursday that President Donald Trump will likely announce later in the day a one-month tariff delay on all products that are covered by the USMCA free trade treaty, a significant walkback of the administration’s signature economic plan that has rattled markets, businesses and consumers. In an interview with CNBC, Lutnick said tariffs on all treaty-compliant products from Mexico and Canada, most of which were hit with a 25% tariff Tuesday, will probably be paused.
It's a mighty victory for Canada and Mexico over their bully neighbor. Tonight in the C&J cafeteria: poutine tacos. (And a complimentary side of Lipitor.)
P.S. Oh my god, poutine tacos are a thing???
JEERS to fire hoses at dawn. On March 7, 1965, America's ”Bloody Sunday”—a march by civil rights demonstrators, notably the late Congressman John Lewis among them—was broken up in Selma, Alabama when "state and local lawmen attacked them with clubs and tear gas. Here's the iconic photo of Lewis—in the foreground—nearly losing his life for the simple act of wondering if perhaps Black Americans could be equal to white ones:
And his final crossing—an achingly-poignant moment—after he passed away at 80 in 2020:
To mark the 60th anniversary, today there were events in Selma, Alabama, and more are planned over the weekend, culminating in Sunday’s annual bridge crossing. No injuries are expected beyond a few cases of banjo on the knee.
CHEERS to today's edition of A Wise Decision, Sir. Courtesy of CBS News:
Greenland's Prime Minister Múte Bourup Egede rejected President Trump's claim in his sweeping address Tuesday night that the U.S. was "going to get" control of Greenland. "We don't want to be Americans."
This has been today's edition of A Wise Decision, Sir.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to great moments in wingnut walloping. 71 years ago today, on March 9, 1954, Edward R. Murrow took Ann Coulter's pin-up idol, Senator Joseph McCarthy of Wisconsin, to the cleaners over his Communist witch hunt. His fab-o wrapup could serve as a middle-finger salute to McCarthy's modern-day Wisconsin doppelganger “Moscow Ron” Johnson:
x YouTube Video
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"We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty. We must remember always that accusation is not proof and that conviction depends upon evidence and due process of law. We will not walk in fear, one of another. We will not be driven by fear into an age of unreason, if we dig deep in our history and our doctrine, and remember that we are not descended from fearful men—not from men who feared to write, to speak, to associate, and to defend causes that were, for the moment, unpopular."
Senator McCarthy was the ideological right-winger who thought he could bully and bluster his way to power and glory by ruining innocent people’s lives, but ended up ruining his own by getting censured in the Senate and then dying in a cloud of booze and morphine at age 48. Karma’s a what, again?
CHEERS to home vegetation. A quick roundup of boob-tubage for the final weekend of February. Things get started tonight with Chris Hayes and Rachel on MSNBC. There’s a new episode of Penn & Teller: Fool Us! at 8 on the CW, or you can join the live-skeeting (8pm, H&I Network and hashtag #allstartrek at BlueSky) of the classic Star Trek Episode Where No Man Has Gone Before (with guest star Gary Lockwood, whose next assignment was starring in Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey.)
The curves on the track at the Shriners Children’s 500 are brutal.
The most popular movies and streamers are all reviewed here at Rotten Tomatoes. The NBA schedule is here and the NFL schedule is here. The Arnold Palmer Invitational airs on NBC, while the Shriners Children’s 500 will be run Sunday at 3:30 on Fox Sports. (Children driving Formula One cars at 120 mph? What could go wrong?) Lady Gaga hosts SNL.
Sunday on 60 Minutes: a report on the status of the Purdue Pharma opioid settlement, and how UConn men’s basketball coach Dan Hurley is gunning for a three-peat during March Madness. Then at 8 Lois becomes a stand-up comedian on Family Guy (Fox). The 3,298th season of American Idol premieres on ABC Sunday night at 8. And the weekend gets wrapped up with a snarky bow on HBO, with new episodes of White Lotus and Last Week Tonight.
Now here's your Sunday morning lineup:
Meet the Press: Senator Elissa Slotkin (D-MI); Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, whose name sounds like a villain from a Frank Capra movie. Senator Kim might have a thing or two to say in response to the MAGA cultists equating Dems’ mild tut-tuts during Trump’s speech with their own January 6 insurrection he had to clean up after. CNN's State of the Union: Senators Andy Kim (D-NJ) and Rick Scott (Fascist-Meth Land); Rep. Jake Auchincloss (D-MA); hostage envoy Adam Boehler. This Week: Senator Adam Schiff (D-CA); UAW president Shawn Fain; White House National Economic Council Director Kevin Hassett pees his pants with glee as he describes all the ways he’s planning to screw the peasantry. Face the Nation: Reps. Tom Suozzi (D-NY) and Brian Fitzpatrick (Fascist-PA); former senior director for European and Russian affairs on the White House National Security Council Fiona Hill. Fox Fascism Sunday: Senator Lindsey Graham (Fascist-SC); Rep. Ro Khanna (D-CA).
Happy viewing!
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Ten years ago in C&J: March 7, 2015
JEERS to clipped wings. Couple of hold-your-breath moments yesterday in the world of lighter-than-air machines. A jetliner skidded off the runway at LaGuardia Airport and almost plunged into Thatsfuckingcold Bay. Half a dozen injuries reported. And Harrison Ford had engine trouble with his W.W. II trainer and crash-landed onto a golf course, missing a hole-in-one by thaaat much. He's banged up but otherwise fine, according to his son. Authorities have finished their preliminary investigation and they all agree: Worst. Kessel. Run. Ever.
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And just one more…
CHEERS (or, if you hate it, JEERS) to emerging from the dark times. I know, I know…for many of you Daylight Saving Time sucks. In fact research shows that, for 4-in-10 Americans, it takes a week or so to physically and/or mentally make the adjustment. But up here in Maine, where global warming is a hoax, it's a real shot in the arm to get that extra perceived hour of daylight, and well worth the excruciating childbirth-like pain of losing an hour of sleep. So here's the deal: make a note to turn your clocks ahead an hour (and replace the batteries in your smoke detectors and sex toys) Sunday morning. Or better yet, make a note to tell someone else in your house to do it because you're sick of always being the one who has to stay up ‘til 2am do it.
As usual, Democrats on Capitol Hill will help their Republican colleagues reset their pocket watches. If left to do it themselves, they won’t stop until they've turned 'em back 50 years. Oops. Sorry. I mean decades.
Have a great weekend. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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