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Trump’s tariffs, toilet paper, and practical jokes [1]

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Date: 2025-03-05

Imagine this: it’s Halloween night, and you’re standing in your kitchen with a carton of eggs in one hand and a roll of toilet paper in the other. You’re getting ready to go out and engage in some good old-fashioned shenanigans, then you realize that the items you’re about to use in a great practical joke have become as precious as gold. Thanks to Donald Trump’s much ballyhooed tariffs and the resulting inflation, the cost of consumer goods has skyrocketed, leaving you wondering if your much-beloved practical jokes will survive the price hikes.

First, let’s take a dive into the origins of this inflationary tale. Trump’s tariffs, ostensibly aimed at protecting American industries, have had a significant impact on the cost of imported goods. When tariffs are imposed, they act as a tax on imports, making foreign products more expensive. In response, domestic producers might also raise their prices, leading to an overall increase in consumer prices. This ripple effect can contribute to higher inflation, affecting everything from toilet paper to eggs to tomatoes. Yes, I said tomatoes, 86 percent of which come from Mexico and 13 percent from Canada. Even domestically produced candy—another Halloween staple—is more expensive because of the high tariff on raw cane sugar over a certain limit allowed to be imported from abroad.

Toilet paper, a humble household necessity, has taken on a new level of importance since the scrambling days of the Covid-19 pandemic when there was a rush on stores to stock up. The days of carefree TPing of the neighbor’s house are long gone. With tariff induced price increases, each roll of toilet paper is now worth its weight in gold, or at least silver, at a rough average of $2.00 per roll. Picture the scene: you’re meticulously planned your little TP expedition, only to realize that the cost of your mischief exceeds your monthly grocery budget. The silver lining here, though, is that this might lead to a decline of this practice, and neighbors across the country will breathe a sigh of relief. Adding to the downside, however, is the sad fact that the increased price of candy might lead to smaller treat hauls for the little ones.

Next up, we have eggs. Whether you were planning to egg a house or a car, the rising cost of eggs is sure to put a damper on your prankster spirit. At an average price of $4.50 per dozen, and with purchase limits at most stores, not to mention the impact of the avian flu that has hit so many egg producers, egg prices have soared and show no signs of coming down any time soon. Egg prices means that egging has become a luxury prank, reserved for the very rich or for the most special occasions.

Let’s move away from Halloween, which, after all, comes but once a year. What about the time-honored tradition of throwing tomatoes at orators or comedians you don’t like? With the rising costs (an average of $5.00 for six tomatoes), this form of protest might be on its way out as well. Tariffs on agricultural products have driven up the cost of tomatoes, making them too valuable to waste on heckling. This might mean that we need to find new ways to show our disapproval, maybe by resorting to more verbal forms of criticism, provided the current administration doesn’t try to limit that as well.

As our traditional pranks become more expensive, we might need to get creative with our mischief. Consider, for instance, virtually TPing your target’s house. Create the digital image and send it via social media. Not only is this more environmentally friendly, but it’s cost effective. Don’t waste perfectly good, and prohibitively expensive eggs when you can egg someone’s virtual space by sending a barrage of egg emojis. Same thing with tomatoes at unfunny comedians or boring speakers. Send GIFs online instead.

Every cloud has a silver lining—and thankfully Trump hasn’t yet figured a way to put tariffs on clouds. While rising costs might put a damper on our traditional pranks, there might be an opportunity for innovation. As we adapt to the new economic reality, we might discover new and creative ways to engage in mischief. The fallout of Trump’s tariff fiasco just might lead to the next great prank being born out of necessity and resourcefulness.

In the meantime, let’s try and appreciate the humor of our situation. The image of someone standing in a grocery store, calculator in hand, trying to estimate the cost of their planned mischief is enough to make anyone chuckle. And the high cost of toilet paper, eggs, and tomatoes might lead to a new era of pranks that are kinder to both our wallets and the environment.

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[1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2025/3/5/2308123/-Trump-s-tariffs-toilet-paper-and-practical-jokes?pm_campaign=front_page&pm_source=latest_community&pm_medium=web

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