(C) Daily Kos
This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered.
. . . . . . . . . .
How to get the support you need. [1]
['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']
Date: 2025-03-05
אִ֣ישׁ רֵ֭עִים לְהִתְרֹעֵ֑עַ וְיֵ֥שׁ אֹ֝הֵ֗ב דָּבֵ֥ק מֵאָֽח׃
“There are friends who merely pretend friendship: and there is a true friend who is closer than a relative.”
Do you feel that you are not getting the same support you offer to others? How does that make you feel? What is your current response? Do you still have the same spirit to support others?
If you will allow me the time to deepen the meaning of the Proverbial passage quoted above in one of the ways I learned it from my Rav M. Elbaz of the Elbaz Rabbinic Dynasty.
My Rav taught me that “the most obvious of things generally need to be said first.” Many if not all of us want to be supported, the truth is many do not know how to ask. The reasons many individuals refuse or simply do not ask for support may vary and may be due to the result of past feelings of shame, guilt, or embarrassment and traumas, these are all common reasons that keep us from reaching out for the support we need.
In what is understood by many as an “obvious” moment of need (individual or communal) there is often failure to remember that no one is a mind-reader, and that each person has their own struggles that overshadow even the most “obvious” things.
Suggestion: Be patient and be kind and take a moment to realize that if there is someone you know, that hasn’t noticed that you’re needing their support, don’t make it your business to hold it against them if you have not taken all the necessary steps. With further investigation you may come to find out that they’re probably not trying to be unsupportive, and they may become a fantastic source of support if you just ask them.
My point is to be direct in your communication and ask for specific forms of support. Ask yourself:
Do I need someone to spend time with, so I am not alone?
Do I need advice?
Do I simply need a shoulder to cry on?
Ask for what you need and ask for it directly; don’t beat around the bush.
A common mistake is to assume that only the people you’ve been closest to will be able to support you. Sometimes, the best sources of support are people that are far enough removed from your situation to be able to be there for you without getting tangled up in the situation themselves.
Do yourself a favor and try to think outside of the box when it comes to who might be able to provide you with the emotional support you need. Think about an individual you used to currently work with who turns out to be a great listener, or the acquaintance that you from the coffee shop who runs a food pantry for the less fortunate. Don’t limit yourself to only your inner circle when it comes to getting the support you need. You may find friends and supporters in some of the most surprising places.
As the opening so the closing “The phrase "sticking closer than a brother" which we took is from Mishlei (Proverbs) 18:24. Describes a true supporter as a person who sticks closer than a relative, there is a consistency in their loyalty and their friendliness, these individuals come to the aid of their companions in distress and give counsel to them in faithfulness.
Your support is out there. They want and desire to support you. Make sure that you are doing what is necessary on your part to make sure they know that you need their unique support.
Shabbat Shalom! (Peace. Rest)
[END]
---
[1] Url:
https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2025/3/5/2308116/-How-to-get-the-support-you-need?pm_campaign=front_page&pm_source=more_community&pm_medium=web
Published and (C) by Daily Kos
Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified.
via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds:
gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/
