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Fat (Head) Tuesday [1]
['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']
Date: 2025-03-05
By David Glenn Cox
Business is business, a complicated formula of can and will and can’t and won’t. But the most important key is to be likeable. If they don’t like you, they’ll walk around the block to buy from your competitor. So, I can say with confidence that Tesla Automobiles are as dead as Marley. It takes a special kind of stupid to reach the top only to become the most hated man on the planet. It’s almost like a Twilight Zone episode.
[pan to Mr. Serling] “For your consideration…”
Even before I read about longtime insiders quietly dumping millions in Tesla stock it is all too obvious. To look at the market as a whole, it is obvious. The monkeys can bay at the moon, but they can’t deny the tide. Lee Iacocca brought you the Chrysler K Car. As poor an automobile as could be found at that price. Iacocca sweet, talked Congress into bailing out Chrysler. He was a very nice man. Very down to earth. People liked him a lot. So, when he said, go buy this; they did.
He was that favorite uncle everyone was always glad to see. People trusted him. Now consider Elon Musk and Tesla. Even if Elon sold every share today and renounced the company, they are still doomed. The car business is about volume. The more and faster you sell cars, the cheaper each one costs to manufacture. An insanely expensive manufacturing facilities and logistics train. The margins must be good if you consider the tens of millions the bankers gladly lent, but the margin on zero is still zero.
The goal is to scale up as fast as you can to stay ahead of the competition. Which requires heavy borrowing, but it’s all right, because as the profits roll in you can pay those debts off. As the profits grow you borrow more and more to do even more, and everything is wonderful! Just as long as the arrows continue pointing the right direction. But if there is a hiccup, fixed costs continue and suddenly debt load is an issue.
Automotive lore is filled with high debt limiting a car company’s abilities, until they finally disappear. The Avanti was going to save Studebaker. The Gremlin was going to save AMC. Too little too late. They say Nissan on the ropes. You wouldn’t guess that, would you? They have successful and popular models but if the volume doesn’t outrun the banker’s calls, they’re doomed.
Never in recorded human history has a manufacturer made himself the poster child for bringing back the guillotine quite like Elon Musk. Tesla’s business prospects are slim and none and slim just left town. There is a better market for hot buttered goat shit than for Tesla automobiles. The profits evaporate but the debt marches on!
It really makes you wonder about Wall Street. I can see it, and I bet you can see it too! Run, don’t walk! Sell everything ASAP! Do you anticipate a Tesla stock recovery? Fat fucking chance! The stock has only lost 40% of its value so far, while its sales are Hindenburg disastrous. You would think a story like that would be all over the financial news. In the Untied Snakes of Russia and North Korea, we don’t discuss such matters publicly. Should be news but isn’t. (hmm!) What do you think it is? Mudslide in Pakistan kills ten! Pilot error ruled as cause of deadly accident. Dog wins lottery!
In New Orleans, a Tesla Cyber dumpster truck was pelted with drinks and loudly booed on Bourbon Street on Fat Tuesday. But sure, maybe the stock will recover. Hundreds of pickets appearing nationwide at Tesla stores. Violence and vandalism, but it’ll be fine. Charging stations set on fire and windows broken. In France, actual cars were set on fire.
Elon predicts the stock will soar 1000% in the next few years. That’s because Elon is a con man. That’s why he and the King get along so well. 2026 is probably the last model year for Tesla. No point in building them if you can’t sell them. And you definitely can’t sell them. Swasticar speaks for itself. (maybe they’ll forget?)
Tesla will become a footnote in automotive history. A chapter in your business textbook. The mechanical bull of his generation. Something we’ll all laugh about in ten years. Remember that crazy guy back in the day? What was his name again? Elwood, Elton? He built those cars. You remember! What were they called again? Plasmas or Nazi cars?
Didn’t they eventually cut his head off? Yeah, I think so.
“...and in the eyes of the people there is the failure; and in the eyes of the hungry there is a growing wrath. In the souls of the people the grapes of wrath are filling and growing heavy, growing heavy for the vintage.” ― John Steinbeck
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