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DOGE Setting Fire to the Government: One Office SpaceX Match at a Time [1]

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Date: 2025-03-04

We are all familiar with the sad federal employee tale of everyone must return to work; but as you may guess, there wasn’t always space or an office nearby to return to. This was solved by GSA (we know it was DOGE), and their new program called Space Match.



Let me explain the dumbassery of this with FIVE BULLET POINTS. Okay, there will actually be numbers because I am not a bullet point Ketamine Freak. Also, I think the word “bullet” needs to be removed from the DOGE vocabulary as does the word and object “chainsaw”.

1. Due to telework and many employees doing field work, many agencies with new leases have space sharing arrangements, so 2 employees are sharing one desk. Offices already can't house all of their employees.

2. All employees are ordered to return to work. Many employees are required to work remote, so they may live hundreds of miles from the office. Many of these work arrangements were made when the 45th president shutdown offices, but they still needed the employees to perform the work where they were located. Bummer. And the offices are still full. Employees under this arrangement were also not relocated to save money because the federal government has to pay to relocate them. So still not enough room, and this will cost some money. Some special person decided that Space X Match was the answer.

3. When all of this happened, every agency was told to count all seats, including seats in the breakroom, conference room, any table available, can we add more chairs, and my favorite-yes the couch counts. Did anyone think about the toilets because this is also a seat? The GSA is attempting to do space match, where they will find you a space to work. You just get on the program and find your match. I am sure that program is working as well as the Tesla Cyber Trucks.

4. So WHILE #3 happened, the GSA announced that they would be shutting down buildings. (Although, there were plenty of rumors before this). Employees are now learning that they returned to work in their super cramped offices, and the offices are now closing. They still can't work remote, and they are soon not going to have an office. They will be piling them in like sardines.

a. Sardines with computers, monitors, and docking stations, phones, charging keyboards, your mouse and a host of specialized equipment all utilizing power. The problem with this is you can fit the sardines in there, but the power is going to trip because there just isn't enough amps. Your powerless equipment is also going to lose life quickly because it doesn't work well that way. Electronics will overheat. Fire--from Beavis and Butthead. While GSA had everyone counting seats, they forgot to count the amperage.

b. Temporary wiring is illegal. They also forgot to count the plug-in receptacles, and temporary wiring is illegal. It is against building code, fire code, and is not allowed by OSHA. I know DOGE or some crazy Senator (You know who you are) will be getting rid of OSHA soon.

c. Generators are still a form of temporary wiring, and they have to be monitored. It is also super hard to run all those extension cords in a multi-floor building.

d. To redo the electrical and run more power transmission lines, it will cost a fortune.

e. Also, this is going to sound weird, but some spaces will not have enough bathrooms. There is a legally required amount. Some of the older offices have a lot of space, but not a lot of bathrooms.

5. Shutting down an office is expensive. You have to move out the furniture. Taxpayers will be paying for that. You have to pay for equipment disposal. You have to move any physical files that still exist. You have to wipe memories with special devices. And on and on.



This super fun idea has DOGE written all over it. Great idea to make the minions miserable, but not a thought about the concept of how electricity works and what is a fire hazard. Congratulations, you will need to walk back this as well. It isn’t all that dissimilar to firing the nuclear weapons safety inspectors. It seemed like a good idea until a few buildings burnt to the ground.

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