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Uncle Sam fires Donald F. Trump! [1]
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Date: 2025-02-28
Uncle Sam, America’s 200-year-old granddaddy of patriotism and freedom from tyranny, has fired President F. Donald Trump.
Press Secretary for Uncle Sam, Ulysses S. Samuelson, announced that the reclusive and often assumed to be fictional Red, White and Blue Man marched the Orange Man into the White House Green Room to give him his pink slip.
RELATED STORY: Inside King Donald's Fort Knox gold scam
Uncle Sam invoked the hidden “Uncle Sam” clause in the U.S. (Uncle Sam) Constitution.
Also known as the “Have We Completely Lost Our Fucking Minds?” clause, it is a little-known measure that allows a president to be physically removed from office by a cartoon caricature of American patriotism if said chief executive tries to overthrow the entire government in cahoots with the world’s richest man.
Reasons for Dismissal:
Failure to stop the flow of Mexican ketamine into his chief advisor’s brain
Replacing agencies he hates with newly created U.S. Department of Retribution
Bad standup comedy involving sharks Al Capone, and Arnold Palmer’s penis
Plotting to take over Canada, Panama, Greenland and Gaza
Changing America’s form of government to moronarchy
Turning allies into enemies; enemies into allies
Scheming to steal the gold at Fort Knox
Pretending to be King of America
“Uncle Sam is furious about what the president and his henchmen are doing to America,” said Samuelson, his longtime spokesman. “I mean really pissed off … and shocked that Congress is basically just letting Trump do whatever he wants.”
“Uncle Sam wants you to know that he’s got your back, and will continue working behind the scenes to make sure these MAGA traitors don’t completely destroy the United States of America.”
In related news: Rosie the Riveter is reportedly ripped about Trump’s tariffs and Lady Liberty is livid about the mass deportation fiasco. Captain America could not be reached for comment.
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