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Friday Musings: To stay & fight, or to sell the house & bail? [1]

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Date: 2025-02-28

Good morning everyone,



TexDem isn't feeling well today, so I'm filling in.



Let's be honest, the stress level for all of us has been high. On one end, there's the group who wants to fight like hell to keep our democracy, and on the other, there's the "I've had enough of this," sold-the-house, moving-to-Portugal side. Then there are the rest of us who are stuck somewhere in between.



In my youth, I did things like fight the baby seal slaughter in Canada, taught elementary students about whales and why we should save them. I protested nuclear power plants and supported efforts to stop Japan from killing whales in Antarctica for "research." I changed parties from Green to Democrat when Bill Clinton chose Al Gore to be his running mate.



I'll turn 64 soon, and I just don't have that level of fight in me anymore. I still support a lot of causes that I believe in, but mostly monetarily. As you get older, priorities change. It's not that you feel any less about the things you fought for when you were younger, but you have kids, and they need your attention. In my case, my eldest is disabled; even as an adult, they still need my help. We share a house with my parents, who are both 89 years old, and my dad has dementia. Me being here gives my mom breathing room. She can take a day to go volunteer at the art gallery, something she has been doing for 30 years. She can visit friends and go shopping, etc.



I find myself at this stage of my life more on the "I'd love to bail" side of the scale. Continue supporting the fight, but from New Zealand or Australia. But I can’t, see above. My eldest is also Trans and would bail with me in a heartbeat, but having them leave to another country would devastate their mom. Their mom is very liberal as well, but also not in a position to sell everything and leave. I think a lot, if not most, Americans are in some kind of situation like we are and can't bail, either it's family reasons or maybe financial reasons, but there are reasons that aren't easy to get around.



I take solace in the fact that I live in California, and if the union falls, we can and would do just fine as our own country (sorry, Denmark, but we'll go it alone, thanks). Of course, that means we need an army to defend ourselves against the fascist regime, but given that we have over 1,400 nuclear weapons (I looked it up), I think we’ll be okay.



What makes this time different from Trump 1.0 is that half of this country actually voted for this. Yes, I know, there are all kinds of stories about Trump voters having remorse, but I really don’t think it’s the majority; I’d bet it’s a small minority, actually. That’s the one issue that makes this really hard, really, really hard to come to grips with. That’s the issue that makes me lean a lot more to the bail side of the scale than anything else.



So, this brings me to why I wanted to write this in the first place: what am I doing to maintain my sanity? I don’t read every headline; I have tuned out a lot of the noise. I’m not disengaged, but I’m nowhere near as engaged as I’ve been the past, hell, most of my life. Now, I focus on doing stuff around the house, going out for good food and drink, and following my son, who’s a junior in college, as he navigates into adulthood. My eldest and I do "Pizza Friday" every week, so yay, it’s pizza and beer day! And I play with the dog a lot.



For those who have been frequenting this diary for a while, you may remember me posting pictures of the treehouse I built for my son when he was younger. Well, I’m getting things set up so that after he graduates, he can move into it full-time while he attends graduate school. Assuming he ends up at UCSD, he’s currently at UCSB. But, I’m expanding the original treehouse just in case. I replaced the fence behind the treehouse, then started on adding a deck and building stairs. I’ll include an outdoor kitchen space and then a second building that will have a closet and a shower. This has been a big help in keeping me sane and away from doom-scrolling BlueSky and here. If you’d like to get caught up on what I’m doing with that project, you can do so here: MySonsTreehouse.com. It’s just an iCloud photo album; most current pictures are at the top. Just scroll down to when I started building the new fence and then scroll back up to see the progression of the new building project.



Where do you land on the stay/bail scale? What is your story? I’d like to know.



Take a break from the stress and try to have a great weekend, everyone.



Bob

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